A/N: "Request-a-Fic? What nonsense is this? This had to be Kitty's doing…" You mutter quietly to yourself.
Why yes, it is my doing! Because I've hit a huge writers' block that refuses to be moved, kicked, towed, chipped, melted, or scared away, I've turned to the FanFiction community.
Yes, you!
So what I'm asking for is a prompt via review. It can be strange, fluffy, disgusting, anything. But not too disgusting. And the prompt can even be one word, as vague as possible, as detailed as you want, anything. It doesn't matter.
I do, however, have guidelines. I only do certain pairings, and here they are: Jim/Pam, Dwight/Angela, Andy/Angela (be it one-sided or not), Michael/Jan (same as Andy/Angela), Ryan/Kelly, and Michael/Holly. I will, however, do any other pairing as long as it's crack. And keep it PG13, please.
I can do two types of fics: Scripted and normal. Scripted is like this: "JIM: (opens door) DWIGHT: (screams)", or something to that effect. Normal is like "Jim opened the door. Dwight screamed like a little girl."
And anything you request will be a one-shot. If it's short, it may share a chapter with another request.
So, if you'd like to request something, click yonder review button and state your prompt, type of fic, and pairings (if wanted).
And, so this chapter isn't just an author's note, here's a request from myself: odd events in the Scranton office.
Dwight came into the office, dressed in a cloak, his face dusted in white powder. Jim snorted, but he had expected this. It was Costume Day, a holiday Michael had created even if it wasn't Halloween. Jim himself was wearing what he would normally wear, but with blue stripes going horizontally across his shirt. He was "Lined Paper Jim".
Dwight cleared his throat and climbed onto reception. Pam shot Jim a worried look, and Jim just raised his eyebrows and turned his attention to his desk mate.
"Attention everyone, I have news," Dwight announced in a loud voice. "I have given up beet farming and am now a Jedi. Jim, prepare to die." Jim's face didn't change as Dwight pulled out a lightsaber – no, not a toy, but an actual lightsaber -, and pointed it at the salesman. In fact, Jim just opened up one of his desk drawers and pulled out his own lightsaber.
An epic duel commenced.
"What are my future plans for Dwight?" Jim asked the cameraman, raising his eyebrows and crossing his arms over his chest. "Well, the options are a: linking all his paperclips together and taking all the staples out of his stapler, b: tying a string from his phone to his mug, so when he picks up his phone, coffee gets all over his desk, c: freezing his glasses, or d: spraying him with a fire extinguisher." Jim paused as the cameraman said something off screen.
"That's…actually really good. Now, if I could get some rope and more Jell-O…"
(This is set in Season 3. JIM and KAREN are still dating, and PAM and ROY have recently gave it another shot. All four are on a double date at a nice coffee shop in Scranton. They're sitting at a square table: Jim and Karen are sitting next to each other on one side, and Roy and Pam are doing the same, but Jim and Pam are facing each other, and Roy and Karen are as well.)
PAM: So…Jim…how's it going?
JIM: What are you referring to? Life, sales, relationships, weather, Dwight…"
PAM: (smiles) I'd like to choose…relationships and Dwight, please.
KAREN: (paying no attention; fiddling with cell phone)
ROY: (eating a gigantic piece of cake with a cup of coffee)
JIM: Well, Dwight thinks he's the long-lost leader of a gang in California, and as for relationships, me and Karen are fine. But…
ROY AND KAREN: (both paying no attention)
PAM: But what, Jim?
JIM: I kinda…
PAM: Well, I kind of have a thing for you too, Jim.
KAREN: (finally notices the conversation) UGH. (stands up; leaves)
JIM: Oh, that's a relief, because I still love you.
ROY: Really guys? While I'm eating?
PAM: So…wanna make out now?
JIM: Totally.
BOTH: (make out)
ROY: Oh, hell naw. Hey Karen, wait up!
PAM AND DWIGHT: (making out against the window of Michael's office)
MICHAEL: (closes the blinds)
JIM: (steps out of the kitchen; stops) …the hell?
KEVIN: (giggling)
ANGELA: (snorts in disgust; goes back to work)
CREED: (walks out of kitchen, eating a sandwich; pats Jim on the back) You'll get over it, kid.
JIM: (looks at Creed; buries his face in his hands and walks back into kitchen)
Dwight and Angela are making out in the kitchen, on a table. With tongue. Lots of it. Jim walks in, blinks a few times, and proceeds to go into the men's bathroom and throw up all of his stomach's contents.
JIM TH: I've seen a lot of disturbing things in my life, but that is one of the most traumatizing. (rubs eyes)
EVERYONE (except Dwight and Michael): We love you, Michael!
DWIGHT: (stands up) I don't.
MICHAEL: (tells a funny, inoffensive joke)
EVERYONE: (laughs)
DWIGHT: No, Jim is my best friend! He was just joking with all of those pranks.
Zombies are taking over the office. Dwight is warding them off with a flamethrower, and Jim and Andy are the only ones with him, using bats and pitchforks to kill them.
"In the skull!" Dwight screamed at Andy, and the latter proceeded to stab a zombie in the head with a pitchfork. It crumpled to the ground.
Then Dwight woke up. Jim was watching him with a curious expression, but Dwight just picked up his head from his desk and opened up a Word document.
What to do if zombies infiltrate Scranton, he typed.
MICHAEL: God, Jim, you suck at basketball!
Kelly and Ryan are making out in the kitchen. Jim walks in with Pam. Both blink, turn on their heels, and rush out.
JIM AND PAH TH
PAM: I am never walking into the kitchen without looking in the window first.
JIM: (staring blankly off into the distance)
(CAMERA MAN asks Pam something)
PAM: Oh, he looks like that when he's mentally horrified. (pause) Yep, he saw something like that twice in one day. Poor guy.
Michael and Holly are in the kitchen, but not making out. They're just talking. Dwight walks in, cheers for Michael, and walks out.
A/N: Yep, that's it. I was going to add more making out but I decided you guys suffered enough of that already. There are four segments on making out in this chapter alone.
So, request away and I'll get on them as soon as I can.
