Doctor Daniel Jackson is dead. Pest, friend, helper, teacher – whatever he was, he isn't anymore. He's dead. And no matter how they try to tell her he's out there doing better things, she can't quite get it out of her head that he's just plain dead.

He achieved enlightenment. He's Ascended, whatever that means. She doesn't know. For once in her life, she doesn't even want to know. He's just gone.

Don't lose hope. He could still be out there. She can't quite get her brain around that one, either. If he's still out there, how come he hasn't shown up at her lab door, holding a book and asking for input?

Get over it. Move on.

That's the hardest to deal with, and not only because it's coming from the colonel. Who cares? he snaps. She does.

It happens all the time. Get over it, Carter. Move on.

She's not sure she wants to. She knows she probably can. She also knows that's bordering on oxymoronic. She knows she can – there, that's better. She even knows how to move on. But she can't.

Or maybe, she won't.

He was her friend. Sure, she's lost friends before. It's her job. She's a soldier. And as a soldier, she knows she should just shrug her shoulders and keep on marching. Part of her wants to. She knows the colonel hates her for this, that she's stuck in this rut. He thinks she's gone weak, that she's soft and maybe even that having such a flimsy support beneath his team is a bad idea. He might have even started thinking of her as a woman again. Just a woman. She hates that. And yet, she hates the thought of moving on from Daniel even more.

Moving on means leaving him behind, whatever's left of him, whatever he is now. It means giving up, it means saying that last goodbye, it means never looking up and seeing him at her door again. It means not waking up in the mornings and forgetting. It means not walking into briefings and wondering why he's late.

It means letting go of the happiness. It also means letting go of the pain. It means being herself again.

It means living.

The colonel wants her to live. Everyone wants her to live.

She wants to live with Daniel.

She still does.

She still will.

Just for a little while longer.

And, just for a little while longer, she'll smile when she feels the wind.