Hey, guys. I know I was supposed to do a Mean Girls parody first but... it's going to be delayed for a while since I have to re-watch the movie again. So now, I'm going to parody Okane ga nai with the Kingdom Hearts cast! It's T for nudity and mild sexual... err... stuff. This is my first yaoi with such content. Enjoy and review please.

Disclaimer: I don't own Okane ga nai or Kingdom Hearts.


It is but another night in Twilight Town. The cool gentle breeze. The luminescent glow of the streetlights against the shadows brought by the night. The lucent moon striking through the thick clouds shrouding the evening sky. People bustling here and there to do about with their business. Some are heading home from work. Some are with their families looking for a decent restaurant to have their dinner. And others are merely making an evening stroll before they retire to their beds for the night.

Numerous buildings stand tall in this highly urbanized town, adorned with flashy neon signs that advertised food, cosmetics and more. And if one didn't know any better, this town could easily be mistaken for a city. Not that it fails to meet the definition of a city but the townsfolk have all decided that Twilight Town is to retain its name despite that it is even far more progressive than any of its neighbors and the other political leaders' decision of changing its name to Twilight City.

Meanwhile, as most of the town's inhabitants are all free from the worries that shackle them by day, a red-haired man is just getting worked up after getting out of his black limousine with three other people in suits. The man's emerald eyes gaze at the tall gray building in front of him.

"Are you sure this is the place on the invitation, Zexion?" he asks the boy with bluish-gray hair who stands on his right side carrying a briefcase.

"Yes, Master Axel, sir. This is the place. The auction will be starting in seven minutes, sir," Zexion politely answers, saying each word with care as not to offend his master for surely if he does he will either end up on the streets without a job and a home or even worse he will be floating on the cold waters of who-knows-where.

"Did you bring the amount of money like I tasked you to?"

Zexion points to the briefcase. "Of course, sir. Three hundred thousand. But isn't it too much? I mean, it's just an auction, right?"

"It's not just an auction, Zexion. Besides, I went here to get something not go back empty-handed."

The secretary nods apologetically. "Of course, sir. Your will be done."

At once, Axel gestures to his two other companions and heads over to the entrance of the building. As Axel is about to enter, the guard stops him with his left arm and asks for an invitation.

"Invitation?" Axel scoffs. "Since when do I need an invitation? The name's Axel. It should definitely be in the list of people that you're expecting."

"But, sir, to enter the building, you need to present your invitation to prove that you're not snitching for the police," the guard replies. He apparently does not have a clue of this so-called Axel's reputation.

The guard persists to ask Axel for his invitation. And upon finding out that the brunette standing before him has forgotten to bring his invitation, he immediately denies them of entering the building to participate in tonight's auction. "Sorry to have forced you to come all the way here but only guests who have invitations can be accepted."

Hearing this, Axel's pink-haired companion summons forth his scythe in a shower of petals. The blade, as pink as a rose; the handle, as green as a plant's stalk. Giving the guard no time to react, he is able to poise the blade at the guard's neck in one swift graceful movement, threatening to behead him if he still refuses to give Axel the permission to enter.

"No one denies Master Axel's request. And I should tell you that anyone who has refused Master Axel's wishes is either dead or dying." The scythe's blade is then pressed more closely to the tender skin of the guard, further intimidating him.

"Calm down, ma'am. I'm really sorry that nothing will do. If you want, I have to go up there and talk to the big boss to let you guys in." The guard starts to sweat profusely, slowly backing off. However, he refuses to submit to their request.

The scythe-wielder's expression on his face immediately shifts from calm to angry upon hearing the guard address him as "Ma'am". "Apparently, you are not taking my words seriously. Perhaps, you would want to try living without your head on, I presume."

"You didn't need to do that, Marluxia. This guard was just asking for an invitation which I have forgotten to bring," Axel tells his bodyguard. "Never mind the auction. It's not like we need to go there." He then turns his back on them and proceeds back to the limousine.

"But," Marluxia protests.

Axel merely grins. "It's okay. It's not that I desperately want to go in there. Howver…" He turns around to face the guard. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind missing his head. Off it goes then. Right, Marluxia?"

While Marluxia grins at his master's reply, Zexion and Axel's blonde companion do nothing to help the defenseless man. Their faces are devoid of any feeling at all as a result of the long time they worked for Axel. Work that involved extreme violence as Axel is not the kind of man whom one would want to mess with. His temper is legendary and his cruelty is hidden behind that the nice manners and kind face of his. Because of the prolonged period of servicing him, these two know better than to go against what their master wants.

Just as his head is about to be sliced off, the guard who is completely shaken by the sudden predicament he is in unhesitatingly complies with the request and grants them entry to enter and join the auction on the thirty-first floor.

At this, the scythe is dispersed into a flurry of petals and Marluxia resumes his position behind Axel with the blonde. Zexion, on the other hand, stands beside Axel, bearing no trace of emotion like his two other companions and merely awaits his master's next action.

Bowing down as a gentleman would, Axel simply says to the guard, "Thank you for your utmost consideration. And just try to forget that this little misunderstanding has never happened. Once again, the name's Axel. Got it memorized?" He then disappears into the revolving door of the building followed by Zexion and the blonde.

Before going through the door, Marluxia eyes the guard and tells him, "And just to let you know, I'm a 'sir' not a 'ma'am'." Afterwards, he goes after his master and into the door, leaving a very confused guard behind.

"Who are these people?" He scratches his head before resuming his post.


A spotlight shines on the center of the stage. No one there… yet. Whispers from the guests start to die down since the auction is going to start in a matter of minutes. They have been waiting for nearly an hour and are getting rather curious about these new "merchandise" that is stated on their invitations.

Obviously, the building, during their operations at night, has been known for auctioning off young boys to very rich and influential businessmen. What becomes of the boys? Nobody knows. Some say that they are adopted into the family and are given a life of luxury. Some say that they become sex slaves to their buyers. Others believe that they just disappear without a trace after they are bought, never to be heard again.

"Are you sure you wanted to go here, Master Axel?" Zexion is starting to feel uneasy as he is not used to going into these kinds of places since Axel rarely brings him along. This time, unfortunately, is not one of those days where he would remain in the office, handling his boss's calls and paperwork and watching whatever is interesting on television.

But before Axel could tell Zexion anything, a person comes up the podium and clears his throat before speaking into the microphone.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We are so sorry to keep all of you from waiting. Now, without further ado, we shall start the auctions. Now, the first merchandise we present to you is a gray-haired man. Obviously, he is a native to the famous Destiny Islands as evidenced by his skin tone. Well-muscled and tall for a teenager, I doubt one could resist him. His soft smooth hair's natural color is indeed gray. No doubt he is kind of rare." The announcer points towards the center of the stage where two men are carrying the "merchandise". Stripped down to his birthday clothes, he boy has been drugged as seen from the look on his face.

The announcer continues, "The boy, unfortunately, has already been penetrated. But still, it's not enough to deter you from buying him, yes?" At once, he hears a chorus of yeses from the audience and smiles. "Then again, as a moral and generous host, I would very much feel guilty if I incidentally overcharged this boy for all of you so… I say the starting bid is fifty thousand munny."

"Fifty-five thousand!" screams one man at the back.

"I say seventy thousand!" says a woman in green at the front.

"Eighty thousand!" another woman declares.

A man stands up with his wife. "Eighty-two thousand!"

A man in a top hat then cries out. "Eighty-five thousand!"

"Pshaw! That's it? Ninety thousand!" the man in spectacles in the front row shouts.

Smiling at the immense profit he is about to earn, the announcer leans over to the microphone. "So it's ninety thousand for the boy. Going once, going twice, sold to the man in spectacles!"

Immediately, the men bring the boy over to its now rightful owner in the front row. And as this happens, two other men emerge from the backstage and bring out a boy. This time, however, as Axel lay his eyes on the boy, he immediately feels a strong familiar gravitation towards him.

"Are you okay, master?" Marluxia, who was sitting behind Axel, leans over and asks, sensing something wrong with his master.

Axel sheepishly grins back and replies with an "I'm fine, Marluxia. No need to worry."

"Looks like our master seems to be experiencing love at first sight," the blonde bodyguard of Axel says teasingly. "With a merchandise." She snickers.

Axel turns to face her. "Larxene, if you weren't the most able-bodied bodyguard, I would have fired you ages ago. But don't try my patience. Sooner or later, you will outlive your purpose for me."

"Sorry, Master Axel. I sort of speak before thinking." The female apologizes while Axel returns his attention to the auctioneer.

The announcer now points at the boy. "Our next merchandise is a blonde boy, fifteen years of age. Native to Twilight Town and he is no doubt one of the fairest-looking of the lads I have ever met. His face, his delicate skin… they are of uncommon quality. What you are all looking at here is one of our finest merchandise ever to be auctioned to our devoted customers."

Naked and drugged like the previous boy, the blonde is staring blankly at the audience and being held up by two men. He seems to have resisted going here as his hands and feet are in shackles. This boy has obviously been taken by force.

"The boy's back is, of course, virginal. And his front is most probably too. I guarantee that this boy will undoubtedly provide the one who buys him with extreme pleasure as well as sexual satisfaction," the announcer says with a sly smile. "Okay, now the starting bid is a hundred thousand."

"Hundred and one thousand!" says a woman in the second row.

"A hundred and five!" the woman in a purple-pink kimono screams.

A man with a cane shouts, "A hundred and nine!"

"No! A hundred and ten!" declares another.

"One hundred twenty!"

"A hundred and thirty!"

"A hundred and thirty-five!"

"Hundred and forty!"

"A hundred and sixty!" the same man in spectacles screams. At once, everyone else falls silent.

The announcer grins. "A hundred and sixty, eh?" But before he can say "Sold!", Axel stands up from his seat and shouts, "Three hundred!" Then, before Marluxia, Larxene and Zexion could even say or do anything, he goes over to the stage with the briefcase Zexion has been carrying around and opens it. Numerous paper bills spill onto the space in front of the announcer who gapes in shock at so much money just for one boy.

"All in cash." Axel smirks as he eyes the boy.

Back in their seats, the three just could not believe what they have just heard and seen. All of them are in such a state of shock and Larxene is the first to recover and say something about it.

"Did he just?" Larxene gasps. "A kid in the household?"

"Yes, he did." Marluxia rolls his eyes. "However, it's the first time that he did actually buy something from these auctions. Most of the time, he just goes to watch the kinds of guys they sell."

Zexion raises his eyebrows. "It's his first time? I actually thought he buys them and frees them afterwards."

"Apparently, that's not the case. Master Axel never carelessly throws money away. I think he'll either keep the boy or free him after he's paid off the money," Marluxia replies. "Unfortunately, I have no control over our master's decisions. Only he can decide the fate that is to follow."

"I hope I'm not going to be looking after that kid. I hate kids." Larxene frowns.

"But everything just happened so quickly. Is it always like this?" Zexion asks.

"This has been the first… so I guess not. Know what? You should go with Master Axel more often and spend less time trapped in his office. We've been working for him for nearly five years and you still don't know much of what he does at these kinds of places," Marluxia answers.

"Ugh… whatever. Let's go, guys. Master Axel's going to be pretty mad if we don't get our lazy butts off and help him bring that kid back." Larxene gets up and starts heading down with Marluxia and Zexion to where her master is standing. Under her breath, she mutters, "But I'm deeply intrigued to what he sees in this kid and most especially in what he intends to do with him…"


A/N: Okay. That's it for the first chapter. The first part was actually made up. The script isn't actually the same. I also added a secretary in Axel's staff. And yeah, I couldn't resist putting Marluxia and Larxene as bodyguards since I couldn't think of anyone else who works better as a pair. As for Zexion, he's the secretary since he's… well, very Zexion. Once again, this is my first yaoi with sexual content… in the later chapters. Please leave a review. Thanks.

P.S. I had no idea why sold off Riku before Roxas. Don't kill me, Riku fan girls.

P.P.S. In case you are curious, you can watch the anime in One-Piece-of-Bleach-dot-Com. Just type Okane ga nai. My friend forced me to watch it which is how I got this idea. Hehe. Ayase resmbles Roxas... in a way.