Title: The Bike

Title: The Bike

Summary: Harry is given a bike.

Disclaimer: I do not own plots/characters/anything else like that.

A/N: This story is set after Small Favour and was inspired by my dad who was fixing a neighbours bike the other day. That and I was also challenged to write something by a friend. So; this is the product of the challenge. Enjoy!

"Carlos, what is that thing?" I asked; my voice full of amusement.

I was stood outside my apartment lent up against the wall trying to give the impression that I'm cool and with the times whilst looking at a bike Ramirez had gotten from somewhere.

It wasn't you're ordinary push bike, mountain bike, road bike type of thing. The frame looked three times too big to house just a hollowed out tube with a few wires in it; if that.

"Carlos, you've brought me a scooter for the elderly."

Ramirez pulled a face at me. "It's not for the pension association you buffoon."

"So what's it for then." I questioned.

"Transport for when you're Beetle's at the butchers again." He said flashing a grin at me.

This had to be some kind of sick twisted joke Ramirez has been plotting to get his own back on me for getting him involved in a duel with me against some vampires. It wasn't like it was my fault he got two identical knives sticking out of him.

If this was something to do with that, then he could hold a grudge better than any woman I knew.

"So how am I meant to get from A to B on it then?" I asked humouring him. I might as well hear him out before I shoot him and his idea down.

"You peddle, using the peddles attached to it." He said rolling his eyes and pointing to the peddles. "They were put there for a reason Dresden and not for someone's amusement. Besides, you needn't worry about getting from A to B, you can barely move of off A."

I had seen enough. "Well pardon me for being a modern day caveman with a brain the size of a pea. Now excuse me while I retreat back into my dark dank hole I like to call home."

"And what I'm calling a hotel. What happened to the room service hotels are meant to give to their guests? I haven't seen one example of it yet."

I stopped. He wasn't bringing that bike in my apartment, no matter what he thought of the place.

"So what would you suggest that I do with the bike?" I dared to ask.

"Pimp it."

"Pimp it?"

"Yeah, you know; red and orange flames, a vampire skull in the basket, perhaps a few vampire fangs for added decoration."

I was going to kill him.

"Yeah, and maybe I could make a sign that reads 'Beelzebub rides again' and attach it to the front of the basket." I joked.

Bad move.

"Yeah! Good idea Harry." Ramirez smiled that god awful grin at me. I swear; if he grins at me one more time I'm going to knock a few of his teeth out.

"No." I told him but I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. "I said no and I mean it."

"You're no fun Harry." Ramirez moaned. "Besides, chances are you can't break it. It houses its very own PowerStation."

PowerStation?

"I don't care if it houses a thriving civilisation. No means no." I told him, jabbing my finger in his direction.

"Shame; I thought you could joust demons on it." He looked innocently at me.

"Joust demons! How would I joust demons on a push bike?" I questioned.

"Blasting rod."

I walked over to Ramirez and one of my hands rested on his shoulder. "Ramirez; as a friend I feel I have to tell you that, well, your insane."

Ramirez snorted. "Your one to talk."

"No; with me it's heroic, brave and very very sexy."

Ramirez looked me up and down for a few moments and then burst out laughing. "Yeah, and pig's fly Dresden."

"You want to take this outside?"

"We are outside!"

I hate being made to look like a fool, especially on my own turf.

"Fine; I accept the bike on the condition that you will never bring up jousting demons again."

Ramirez smirked. "I don't know that I want to now. I was going to tell people that you saved an old granny."

I lightly hit him on the back of his head.

"Ouch Dresden."

Serves him right for being such a smart ass.