Author's note : It started because of the REM split. Hence the title. Then it wasn't about that anymore.

Leaving New york, never easy...


The blinking lights of the ambulances and police cars make her face shines in an odd way in the dark. Castle can't tear his eyes away from her. She's standing ten feet from him, talking to Gates. She's fidgeting with the new bandage on her hand. He's worried about the blood he sees on the side of her face, but maybe it's not hers.

"Castle, you okay ?"

The voice startles him. He turns to Esposito and nods.

"They're taking everybody into custody. Including that scumbag", the detective says motioning to the politician. Castle quickly wonders if they will let him wear his expensive suit while he rots in jail for all his sins, including the murder of Johanna Beckett.

"How's Ryan ?", Castle asks.

"He'll pull through. The bullet went straight through his arm. He's on his way to the hospital. You should go home, Castle."

"I want to stay."

The detective follows the writer's eyes, fixed on Beckett.

"They're gonna audition her. It'll take all night. Come on, Castle, I'm giving you a ride home."

Regretfully, he admits that Esposito has a point. On their way to the car, he tries to get her attention. When she finally looks at him, she smiles and mouthes "Thank you". It warms his heart. She's okay.


The next few days, he feels helpless. He is. He goes to the precinct everyday but nobody needs him here. Beckett is in meetings at 1 Police Plaza with Gates and the DA. He's not allowed there. They are wrapping it all up. He did most of the investigating but he knows he can't take credit for it or it will arm the case in court. So he goes to the hospital to visit Ryan. The young detective is going to need some reeducation for his arm but he's fine. They speak and laugh and play cards. But there too, he's not really needed. Jenny is here. And his wife is all Ryan needs. So he goes back home to write and pester his mother. He calls Alexis often, too often ; he knows but he misses her.

The days go by, all alike. Until one morning, his heart soars at seeing his detective at her desk. He's glad he stuck to bringing coffee : she smiles at him when he puts it down in front of her.

"Thank you, Castle."

"You're welcome", he answers, plopping in his chair. "So, no more meeting at 1PP ?"

"Nope. The case is ready. There's a press conference later today about the whole thing."

"Good... How do you feel ?"

She smiles tightly at him. "I don't know. Not bad I guess, but... I just thought it would be more... liberating." She shakes his head. "I'm not making any sense."

He extends his hand to cover hers. She doesn't pull back. "Hey ! It's okay. It's a lot to take in", he offers.

"Castle ?"

"Hum ?"

"I... Gates... The thing is...", she stutters and sighs in exasperation. She gets up. "Follow me", she tells him heading towards the empty break room. She closes the door behind them. She talks fast, getting it all out in one breath.

"Gates ordered me to take some vacations. Three weeks away from New York, if possible from the US, until the scandal dies down. So I'm going to Europe." She stares at him patiently, almost nervously.

"Oh !" He's feeling a bit dizzy and sits down on the couch. "Okay. Hum, do you need, maybe, a trip companion ?", he asks hopefully.

She bits her lower lip because she knows she's gonna crush him. "I'm going with my dad. We both need to not be here when it's all out in the press. I'm not sure he can handle it."

"Of course." He knows he's an ass for being jealous, of her dad of all people.

"Castle...", she starts walking towards him but he gets up quickly and interrupts.

"No, no, it's okay. If you need some tips and stuff. Where are you going exactly ?", he pauses. "When are you leaving ?"

She sighs. "Tonight." She wants to reassure him, to tell him it's gonna be okay. That she's never been closer to "ready" but she can't find the word. She's not the writer in this relationship. "I'll be back before you know it." He just nods. He stares at her for the rest of the day while she does paperwork. He offers to take her and her dad to the airport but she declines. They leave the building together and Beckett decides to surprise him. She pulls him into a hug.

"See you in three weeks", she whispers in his ear before walking to her car. On the sidewalk, Castle doesn't know what to feel anymore.


To be continued...