Title: Hurricane

Pairing: MorganxReid

Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit made

Rating: T

Prompt: Only a hurricane or a sign from god, can bring about the change we all want. Spoilers for 'Lauren' 6x18. Beta'd by chocolatedivine diva (net/u/3320399/)


Closing the door behind him, Spencer wondered if volunteering to be the one to stay with Morgan had been a good idea. Even if he was in the right frame of mind to be doing anything, he was hardly the go-to guy for emotional support. But Morgan had been the one to find her, the one to feel her slip away; there was no way the team was going to let him be alone.

Watching Morgan pace, Spencer wondered how he could have so much knowledge in his mind and yet have no idea what to say. He'd never felt more helpless and inadequate for this.

Before he had a chance to think of anything, Morgan spun around and walked quickly towards Spencer, "Here. I don't want it; I don't want any of it anymore," he said, thrusting his gun and badge into Spencer's hands. His voice was more strained with emotion than Spencer had ever heard and it broke his already devastated heart.

"Morgan, don't ..." he faltered, not knowing how to phrase things. Don't blame yourself? Don't make any rash decisions?

Don't leave me?

"No. I ... just can't," he said, sounding defeated, before turning away with something that was almost like shame; head buried in his hands and shoulders shaking with as of yet unshed tears.

Watching Morgan, watching his friend fall apart before him was just too much and Spencer had to clench his eyes closed to fight back tears of his own. He couldn't think about his own grief, couldn't think about the loss. Not when Morgan needed him. So, placing the rejected items down on a small table by the door, Spencer swiped angrily at the wetness that had built up in his own eyes and moved forward. For a long moment, he simply stood behind his friend, unsure of what to do before finally reaching out a hand and gripping Morgan's shoulder.

It happened so fast that Spencer could honestly say he had no recollection of what had transpired between them; Morgan had stood with his back to Spencer, to their bodies meshed together, lips moving in a frantic and desperate kiss. But, by the time he acknowledged what was happening, he was already responding fiercely.

The kiss, if it could be called that, was messy and uncoordinated and nothing like the first kiss Spencer had always imagined them having. But there was nothing about it that Spencer would have wanted, nothing about it - other than escape - which he wanted. He wanted to love Morgan, to cherish him and be cherished in return. The last thing on earth the real Spencer within wanted was this; a superficial means of suppressing pain. Unfortunately, the sheer magnitude of both their agonies won out over his mind and heart and he arched into the bittersweet touch.

"God, yes. Morgan- please."

There was now a wall against his back and Morgan's lips were pressed against his neck. He pressed his hand against the back of his friends head, encouraging him while moving his hips against Morgan's. His gasps and moans were only drowned out by Morgan's groans and, of all things, whimpers.

But then, everything seemed to change, and though he couldn't clearly perceive what it was, he could feel the tears brimming in his eyes again. Morgan was no longer kissing his neck but burying his face there. Their bodies continued moving for a moment before that too came to a standstill and all that was left was two men holding each other while they cried.

And almost like a flash in his mind, Spencer could finally see.

This wasn't only wrong for them, it was wrong for Emily. She didn't deserve to be forgotten like that, and somewhere in the midst of their passion, one or both of them had realized this.

So they stood together, pressed close in a loose embrace; neither of them aroused any more but both were unable to move away. As Spencer felt wetness on his shoulder, he finally let go. Letting a sob wrack through his body, he moved his hands from Morgan's ass up to clutch at his back. In return, Morgan's arms encircled his shoulders; his tears now dampening Spencer's hair.

It was a long time before Spencer had the presence of mind to steer Morgan into the bedroom. Once there, they finally parted. Wordlessly, they each removed shoes, socks jackets and shirts. When Spencer looked around, having turned to give Morgan privacy, he watched the man climb under the covers almost robotically and felt a sudden rush of doubt. Was he crossing the line by assuming Morgan wanted him there?

Almost in response to his thoughts, Morgan looked up at him and held out his hand, using the other to lift the covers as an invitation. It was an invitation Spencer wasn't about to pass up and as they settled into bed, Morgan spooning him from behind, Spencer wondered if they could get through this intact.

As he once more felt Morgan's body shake with silent tears, he highly doubted it.