Hello! So, I was listening to a Katy Perry song yesterday, "Circle the Drain" (I recomend you turn it on, it helps with the story) and it inspired me to write this. I hope you enjoy it, I actually enjoyed writing it - as sad as it was.
Disclaimer: I wish, but I don't own Degrassi. Or the lyrics to this song by Katy Perry.
"You promised you'd never leave me!" he yelled louder and louder as his raging pleas echoed through the dirty apartment. It reeked of drugs. "You promised! You fucking promised!" he grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled her back in towards him. "Don't you fucking leave, Edwards!"
"Let go of me!" she screeched, cheeks tear stained, eyes tired…exhausted… No more. She was finished. "Don't touch me, stop it!" His grip tightened, and his green eyes narrowed at her. His pupils enlarged, bloodshot, and glassy. "You're high. You're always high. I can't be with you, I can't be around you anymore! Let me go! Let go of me!" her tiny hands tried to rid her wrist of his long lanky fingers, but to no avail, he only took both wrists in anger. All she wanted to do was cry, but she had wasted all her tears earlier. No more were left to cry over him.
Using all his strength, he pinned her up against the living space wall and hissed. "Don't you remember?" he barked. "You said you'd stay forever. You said I'd always be yours. You said-"
"Stop!" she cried, trying to get out of his harsh grasp, but he only held her tighter up against the blue out-of-date wallpaper. Her heart thumped desperately in her chest, knowing danger was all around her. And danger tonight meant him…it meant the love of her life. All her walls had come up, Things were getting confusing. Dark. Dizzy. Glazy. Hazy. "Let go of me, please." She begged. "If you loved me at all, you would let me go."
"If you loved me, you'd fucking stay!" he boomed, and she whimpered. Was this it? Would this really be the end of Clare Edwards? He had been on one of his pill rampages before, but nothing this bad. This was terrifying.
"I'm pleading with you." She choked as her eyes tried to cry again. "Please put me down. Let me go. I-"
"If I do that, then you'll leave! You'll leave me all alone to die, and it will be all your fault!" It took all the strength within Clare to do such a task as this, to purse her lips together and spit directly into his face. His hands let her go, and she fell onto the floor, quickly scrambling to the other side of their apartment, into the kitchen where she grabbed every last bottle of his precious pills.
"No it won't, Eli Goldsworthy! It will be your own damn fault for dying! It will be your fault for these pills! I can't save you from this addiction! I'm just a girl, a girl who thought she could live on her own with a boy who she thought could set the world on fire. But this is too much, Eli! Your addiction is getting worse and worse, so is this heart ache!" she pointed towards her chest and shook her head. The tears had fallen again, and she hiccupped away the fear. Things were getting worse, but oh, she loved him so. "I'm letting you go. Let me!"
"No!" he screamed.
"Yes! Please!"
"Please don't go!" his body shook with fear at the thought of her gone. No one to hold him. No one to tuck him in at night once he would pass out in a drug induced sleep. No one to care for him in his tears? The thought of Clare out of his life was enough to make him go mad…enough to make him die of a broken heart. Enough to take his own life. But now the alter ego of the drugs had begun, the one that had pulled Clare back in so many times before when she had always wanted out. Not today, though. No. Not again. "I need you! I need you!"
"No, you don't need me." Her hand was finally on the doorknob. "You need help. Real help." She was outside the door now, ready to leave "I'm sorry, Eli. I'm so sorry." The door was closed, and she could hear the deathening scream of the word 'No' and the shattering of objects around the apartment.
"Thought that I was the exception
I could rewrite your addiction
You could've been the greatest
But you'd rather get wasted
You fall asleep during foreplay
'Cause the pills you take are more your forte
I'm not sticking around
To watch you go down
Wanna be your lover, not your fucking mother
Can't be your savior, I don't have the power
I'm not gonna stay and watch you circle the drain
Watch you circle the drain, watch you circle the drain"
No words. No movement. Her scared fingers gripped the doorknob one last time and opened the door slowly. Things were shattered and broken. Torn apart, and destroyed. And lying on the middle of the floor was him. Pale. White. Ghost like, almost. Instead of rushing across the room to his side like her heart begged her to, she stepped slowly through the wrecked apartment to his side
"Eli?"
No answer.
"Romeo?"
Still no reply.
"Bender? Lover? Goldsworthy?"
Clare bent to his side and felt his pulse. There was none. Wrists had been slit on a piece of broken glass. Damn Home Goods and their vases. "Oh, my God." Her fingers dialed 911, and she told them he was dead. They said they would arrive shortly to assist her. "You better hurry, though." Clare said sternly, holding the piece of glass in her hands. "I'm a goner, too."
"Are you hurt, ma'am?" the woman responded.
"I will be. For what am I without him? Star crossed from the beginning, star crossed until the end."
"I don't follow, Miss."
"I couldn't live with him…but I sure as Hell, can't live without him."
Before the line went dead, her lips let out a sharp cry, and she curled up beside him. "Those pills…" she muttered in her last words. "Death of us both."
