Chapter 1

Hell was a perfect way of explaining my life. Charlie my not even close to a dad beat me every day. He called me typical things like whore and useless. I knew he was right but it sucked to be reminded off it all the time even though deep down I knew I deserved it. I was a useless excuse of a daughter and I was the reason my mother left me and if I ever told anyone that they would do the same fucking old "no that's not true dear your mother loved you", give me a fucking break. She said it herself her exact words were "I'm leaving I could handle your dad and brother but as soon as I realized I was pregnant with you everything went downhill from there and I realized I never loved you and your tying me down to a life I don't want goodbye I wish you could be like your brother but I'm sorry now Jacob and Charlie have to suffer just because you're a worthless piece of shit.." I mean it wasn't that hard to realize. she never hugged me and all the mother's day gifts from me were thrown away and all the I love you's ignored. I really have no safe heaven to go to at school my brother Jacob and his friends abuse me emotionally and physically, at home my day and my brother abuse me physically and emotionally, and guess what even in my fucking dreams I'm abused physically and emotionally and if not that I get to see my sad excuse off a mother.

"BELLA-WHORE GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE AND MAKE DINNER BEFORE I GET DAD!" Jacob screamed from down stairs using his signature nickname for me.

I ran down the stairs as fast as I could grabbing the macaroni and cheese out of the pantry. I heard Jacobs's breaths on my neck watching me.

"you know I fucking hate Mac and shit cheese for mother fucking breakfast" Jacob said between clenched teeth

He swung his hand on the side of my face. He took the boiling pot of scorching hot noodles and poured it down my back. I yelped in pain.

"Jacob I'm sorry please stop last week u said u liked it!"

"so now your fucking calling me a liar?!?!"

"no"

"and now you're lying Bella when are you fucking going to learn?"

He grabbed me from being touching my burnt burning back and swung me around facing him he kneed me in the stomach multiple times and right as he was about to take his 4th stomach hurling punch someone worst than this walked in.

"what the fuck Bella why do you make such a mess all the time? can you do anything fucking right you useless piece of shit?" my dad yelled at me while walking through the door with his cooler full of empty beers.

Charlie had started drinking every since mom left he blamed his alcohol problem on me and he always says right before he takes his pants off to rape me I wouldn't have to do this if you weren't so selfish and made your mom run away from me and Jacob now would I?"

Charlie takes me by my throat and says "now you will have a special surprise when u get home from school since u seem to get worthless every fucking day."

He slaps me across the face and throws me out the fount door.

I trip down the fount porch steps and land on my ass. Jacobs's girlfriend Leah Clearwater walks around the corner laughing.

"You fucking crack me up Bella-slut" a remake to Jacobs name. "Can't even walk down the fucking stairs" she cracks up

Jacob walks down the stairs and picks Leah up off her feet and makes out with her right in fount of my face. I feel a hint of envy wash through me only because I would have at least wished to have someone love me like that in this hell hole of a life.

She and Jacob jumped in his black mustang and speed off to school. I would have though Charlie being the chief of police and all he could have at least bought me a rusty old truck or something with all the money he has but obviously not, because I start my walk to school every morning in the freezing town of forks.