Bait for the Big Fish
Hello, wonderful readers! This is a whole new multi-chapter fic based around Akatsuki kidnapping Sakura… pretty typical. I kind of like the way it's going to work out though, so if you'd give it a chance I'd be real happy. 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters in any shape or form. I just kind of twist their fate for fun.
"Sakura Haruno, the most trusted and revered medic in all the Five Great Nations is in Sand for a limited time. She will be giving lectures on healing on the 4th of this month at the Great Hall."
A poster boasting of the cherry blossom's name caught the puppet master's eye. He recognized and more importantly, would never forget that name. She was a cat from hell and that was for sure. With her… ridiculous pink locks and that revolting brute strength that seemed to rival even Kisame's; the kunoichi should have been ashamed to even call herself a girl. And so what if he was just offended because she and that old bag had defeated him? Sasori made sure to give the picture on the poster a dirty look before snatching it off the post and shoving it into his red-clouded cloak.
Sasori entered the Akatsuki's temporary base and made his way to where the bulletin boards in the office were set up. He wondered why they even had them for a moment, since the only things posted on them were flyers to give away the cats they had mysteriously collected. (Thanks to Pein, who apparently had a soft spot.) Even further analyzing that, no one even came into their base; it was secret. Who did they plan on seeing these flyers, anyways? The puppet master softly sighed before hanging up this poster with a thumb tack so that the rest of the members would see. He doubted anyone actually cared, so he went back to playing shogi with one of his puppets.
"Why are you clogging up our poster board with your fan boy paraphernalia?" The large, blue fish-man put a foot on the shogi board where Sasori was playing, consequently knocking over all of the shogi pieces. Sasori remained silent, staring at the shogi board and pondering why he even put up with this anymore.
"It's for serious business, like finding homes for those stupid cats that keep eating fish in front of me! It's disturbing; I'm not going to stand for it anymore!" Kisame looked like he had endured some seriously traumatizing things in the past month or so. Honestly, the puppet master couldn't find any way to care about the fish-man's 'pain.'
"Shouldn't you be the one who cares about this flyer the most? You are the one who's in charge of nine-tails, after all." Sasori moved a shogi piece across the board as Kisame lifted his foot off, took his sword off his back, put it up on the wall in a rack, and pushed the puppet off the seat across from the redhead and sat in the chair. "What are you blabbing about? Why would I ever care about learning healing jutsu from some Hokage-princess-wannabe?" Kisame quirked an eyebrow and stared at Sasori with a slightly miffed face.
Sasori felt like screaming from frustration. It was only expected; because in the Itachi and Kisame outfit, let's just say Kisame definitely wasn't brains over brawn. Either way, the sand exile decided to enlighten Kisame on the plan that he had prepared, but not without a little bit of whining first. "I can't believe I have to do your job for you. But—"
"You don't."
"Yes, I do, because I'm ¾ of a wooden puppet and I have more brains than you."
Kisame scoffed. Sasori continued explaining his plan, free from interruptions. "Clearly, the pink-haired kunoichi is affiliated with the nine-tails. Although it's obviously not my place to say this," Sasori said as he squirmed in his body full of patches courtesy of Kakuzu, "I think that she is a much easier target and bait if she is alone. You and Itachi wouldn't have a hard time capturing her. Do you see where I'm going with this?" So help him if he didn't follow, because it wasn't that difficult to understand. Kisame nodded and Sasori breathed a sigh of relief. "I think that's the best plan we've got. Itachi and I have made little to no progress, thanks to him always avoiding his brother or some stupid shit like that." Shark-boy moved a shogi piece offhandedly as he mulled the idea over in his head. "What if she's not alone? Our whole plan is down the drain."
"Then you can't get her for bait and your mission makes no progress."
"Oh." Kisame scratched the back of his neck and huffed outward.
While the two sat in silence, a familiar white-haired face walked into the office and threw the door to the mini-fridge open. "Why in the fuck is there no shit to eat? Like, really, is it that hard for someone to be assigned to shopping? You all are some unorganized fucks and I'm getting sick of it." Hidan roared and threw a jar of jam in the direction of Kisame. The blue haired man leaned out of the way and Sasori watched as the shogi pieces fell off onto the floor. Why him? Why couldn't he have just died to that kunoichi and the old lady?
The Jashinist quickly recovered from his fit and leaned over their shoulders to look at the poster that Kisame was still holding in his hands. "Hey, isn't that the Hokage's pupil or whatever the hell?" Hidan pointed at the picture on the poster and Kisame nodded. "Yeah, we were thinking about a plan for the nine-tails and her. Wanna give me some feedback?" Kisame looked up at Hidan, who had a contorted expression on his face. "Uh, no. See if I give a fuck, man. You're not gonna get 'im, you've had such a long time and everything I mean really, how long does it take, I woulda had him by no—" The violet-eyed man was stopped in the middle of his rambling by a strong blue hand punching him in the jaw. Hidan's eyes rolled back into his head and he choked back a groan before yelling back at the shark-man. "I'm just telling you the truth, you shit!" Hidan grumbled, huffed, and puffed. "I mean, it might work. Her friends and that whole village are pretty fuckin' dumb. They'd probably come after a slut like her." The Jashinist chuckled to himself and sat in the room on the side of the shogi table. "So, are you gonna wait to ask Pein or are you gonna go ahead?" Hidan didn't bother waiting for a response and voiced his opinion, "You should just fucking go for it, man."
Kisame rolled his eyes and shrugged. "I don't even know if I'm going to go through with it, I haven't talked to Itachi or anything."
Hidan scoffed and opened up a bottle of water, "What? Are you Itachi's bitch?"
"He's my partner."
"…So?"
Sasori and Kisame both continued playing shogi, while ignoring the man with seemingly limited intelligence that was in the room with them. Hidan watched the game quietly, surprisingly. He got the sudden sense that they both didn't care about his opinion. Normally, this man would voice his opinion regardless of how people felt about it. This wasn't much of his business, though and for once in his life, he somehow respected it.
Soft footsteps came in through the hall and made their way into the office. The man behind these footsteps made his way to a seat near a dining table and sat down. He observed the people in the room with his maroon-colored eyes as he simultaneously flipped through the wanted section of a newspaper.
"Speak of the devil." Kisame remarked as he saw the raven-haired male walk in. "I have a proposition for you, Itachi. Sasori and I came up with a plan. Look at this flyer." Kisame handed the poster with Sakura's face over to his partner. Itachi seemed to catch on to their plan pretty quickly. The Sharingan bearer glanced over the poster for further detail and thought over how the plot would work out in his head. He didn't seem too much against it, Kisame figured. After years of running around with the guy, Kisame had found out how to read his face pretty well. "It's one of our only options, Itachi. We're kind of at a stale place in our mission." Kisame's voice rumbled through the room that was almost dead silent ever since the raven walked in. Itachi went back to the newspaper and nodded, "I suppose it's a good lead." Kisame grinned at Itachi's words, "Great! The actual lecture is going to be in a couple days. We'll start planning tomorrow."
Apparently, it only takes overnight for a plan to get screwed over and not pull through. It was funny, though, because you'd almost think Itachi was the type of guy who wouldn't get sick a single time in his life. Well, when he did, the Uchiha did it was grace and fluidity. You couldn't even hear his retching through the cheap plywood door to the bathroom. Kisame stood outside of the door, with his arms crossed and his eyes rolling back into his head from exasperation. "I'm guessing the plans off, then."
A/N: Well, what do you guys think? I think it was good for an opening chapter and it's one of the longest things I've ever written for this site, hah. I am pretty excited to carry out this story, even if it's a little bit cliché.
I really need your guys help on this one, though! So please review or PM and tell me who you want the main pair/pairing in this fic to be. I'll need to know this before I can carry out the rest of the fic! Thanks so much!
