Disclaimer: I do not own anything. This story was written purely for entertainment purposes.
A/N: Reviews are always very welcome!
A War Never Won
He doesn't want to feel this way. He doesn't want to be so sad, so regretful. But somehow he can't help it. It's not as if his opinion of William has actually changed. No, he still sees him as an incompetent fool, who is clumsy and generally somewhat useless, to be honest.
It's just that - and he hates to admit it - he sort of misses that clumsy, incompetent fool… a little bit. He wishes he hadn't been quite so cruel because now he can't apologize. That's a ridiculous thing to think. Because if William had still been here, there's no chance he would even have thought of apologizing.
He thinks - everyone else is thinking it, he knows - that maybe, all things considered, it might have been better if it had been him instead of William who had died. O'Brien doesn't understand when he tries to tell her. She says he's just being a fool and should be glad he survived.
And he is glad. He's glad he's been so fortunate, that he's lived through all of this, relatively unscathed. He knows many men haven't been so lucky. He's worked in the Medical Corps long enough to know that even those who didn't die, lost a limb, an eye or worse.
William had believed in this war. Thomas can't really understand why anyone would believe in a war, but it's nice to know that at least it was something that he went into with hope and good intentions. Thomas would like to think he died with those intact but knows it's highly unlikely to be the case.
War never seemed to him to do much good. It was always so uneven. One side was always much stronger and that was always the side that won (which was good if you were on the strong side but it wasn't so useful if you were on the weak side.) Or maybe war wasn't always like that. Maybe he's just drawing from experience.
War never seemed to him do much good. It's strange he fights so much.
