Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even the story concept!

I wrote this to the couch is on fire as a joke response to her Ed/Armstrong story. She liked and so I have her permission to post it. Yay! No, I mean…

(I'm Soooo sorry Kaze. This isn't the story you were looking forward to… A special one-shot will be posted until then I guess… ..;)

Just so everyone knows this is not meant to represent any holy or decent truth, and I don't condone this behavior in any way! XD

Ha-ha. Don't enjoy. And if you do…that's kind of weird.

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Now Wedded Alex Armstrong and Edward Elric were walking to church with their New born Louise Trisha Armstrong Elric. Today, Louise was to be baptized at the nearest church.

Edward had also invited his childhood friend and her grandmother to the be there at the baptizing.
However, the fact that this was a baptism was unbeknownst to Winry and her grandmother.

"Geez...what do you think is so important that Ed would call us both to central for?" Winry grumbled as she carried her usual tote bag along side her.

"Is his auto-mail busted again?" her grandmother inquired.

"No...when he called that was the first thing I asked him."

"Well it must be pretty important. We haven't heard from him in just over nine months."

And apparently they didn't know about the fact that Ed was married to Armstrong had beared a daughter with him.

"Well..." Winry started. "If this is some kind of joke...I have an old friend Edward can say hello to..." Winry's eyes twinkled menacingly as she pulled her wrench.

Meanwhile...

"Oh my sweetest dearest! I eagerly await when our darling Louise Trisha Armstrong Elric is baptized on this most blessed of days!" Armstrong exclaimed as he when into one of is bone-crushing hugs onto his wife Edward Elric.

"Honey! You promised not to do that when I have Louise!"

"I am sorry my dearest. But how could I not embrace my sweetest when you look so ravishing?"

"Oh you..." Ed offered his lips as his lover bent down for a kiss.

Then, they were finally at the church.

Edward, his husband, and his daughter went up to the priest who was standing, reading scripture.

"Hello my good fellow." Armstrong then gave the priest a slap on the back which nearly ruptured his spine.

"Uhhhh..."the priest composed himself, and stood up to meet Armstrong.

"Ohhhh...are you Major Armstrong? Yes, I've heard you've been married!

"Ha-ha. Well...

"Yes..." Ed responded as well.

The priest then spotted the bundle in Ed's arms.

"You even have a child! Congratulations! Is this the lucky lady?" The priest looked at Edward who he presumed to be a lady, who was dressed in a Sunday dress.

Something glinted in Armstrong's eyes as tears began to waterfall down his cheeks, but folded his arms behind his back nonetheless.

"Um, well actually..." Edward his hand up to face as his cheeks began to flush. He closed his eyes and a little modest smile appeared on his lips.

Oh she is too darling! Armstrong really knows how to woo women! The priest thought to himself.

Edward's eyes opened at half-mast giving his amber eyes and glow of beauty and feminine.(Is that a word?)

Ed's mouth opened a little as the priest anticipated his words.

"I'm a man." Ed cocked his head playfully to one side that made his curled golden haired bounce.

"...Huh?"

"I'm a man." Ed repeated." My name is Edward Elric. I've known my Hunny-bunny ever since I joined the military. And well...the rest is history...

"Edward? Edward Elric? As in the Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric? That Edward Elric?"

"...Yes. I am." Edward blushed and held his face in his hands, smiling like his husband had just proposed to him.

"Bu-But... your both men!"

"That doesn't mean we can't luuuv each other, right?"

"We can't have homosexuals about the church!"

"Oh sir..."Armstrong started "We came to have our child baptized..."

"THAT IS YOUR CHILD?" He pointed at the bundle horrified like it had just sprouted horns.

"Yes, our baby? Take a look." Ed shifted the bundle slightly in his arms and uncovered it's face.

The priest could only stare at the incredibly unholy thing as it met his eyes.

It's face was strangely developed like a pro-wrestlers. It's jaw-line was ridiculously pronounced much like it's muscular father's. It was complete with it's father's signatures mustache and curl on it's forehead. The only other piece of hair was It's 'mother's' cow-lick perched atop it's enormously proportioned head.

"D-dear sw-sweet mother of God...a ba-baby boy?..."

"Actually father...It's a girl."

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"...well grandma. We're finally at the church..."Winry grumbled as her grandmother walked beside her.

"Thank God...It's pretty hot here in Central..." her grandma responded.

Winry walked up the steps and grabbed the handle.

All of a sudden, the door's burst open, knocking Winry's hand back.

"What in the---"

The priest flew past the two and onto the street, disrupting the traffic.

"FROM HELL! THERE IS NO GOD! THERE IS NO GOD!"

Winry and her grandmother could only watch in silence as he ran, screaming, and out of sight.

"...what do you think that was about?" Winry asked staring at where he had disappeared from sight.

"Beats me."

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Ha-ha…so much for good first impressions huh?

Like I said this was a joke but I have The couch is Fire's permission!

Thank you! Michi! You rule!

Flame. Flame away. PLEASE.

Just so every one knows EdStrong equals sadness!

EdStrong equals the end of the world as we know it!