Quest for Justice

By: Ahmad Abu-Jamous

Characters:

Shinji Ikari: Early 20's, brown hair, and blue eyes. In charge of Nerv, a company that makes medicine. Married to Rei Ayanami. Has a daughter named Yui. Slim, but can get it done when the going gets rough.

Rei Ayanami: Early 20's, blue hair, red eyes (albino). Quiet, but nice. Is a stay at home mom.

Adam "Edge" Copeland: 48 years old. Long, blonde hair, a beard, and many tattoos. A detective working alongside his best friend, Christian. Loves the Foo Fighters.

Jason "Christian" Reso: 48 years old. Has short blond hair, and stubble. A detective working with his best friend, Edge.

Dr. Ritsuko Akagi: Rei's mother. Dyes hair blond, smokes a LOT, and is a practical genius. Works with Nerv developing medicine.

Bray Wyatt: A backwoods cult leader. Often wears a Hawaiian t-shirt. Has a huge, messy beard, and hair to match. Hates Nerv due to their recent testing methods on endangered animals.

Setting: Tokyo, Japan. It is wintertime and the middle of the night. The buildings of Japan are lit up like Christmas lights and there is snow all over the roads.

Enter Shinji Ikari driving in a black car. Shinji has been looking for his wife, Rei, who has been missing for three days. The only thing he found was a note saying "If you want your wife back, come to the backwoods and meet my demands". Shinji had left his daughter, Yui, in the care of an old friend. Shinji promised that when he got his hands on this guy, there would be hell to pay. He decided to go to the E&C Detective Agency to get help from their lead detectives; Edge and Christian.

Shinji bursts into the office of Edge and Christian, nearly knocking Edge and Christian off of their rolling chairs.

Edge: Whoa dude. Hasn't anyone told you to knock before bursting into someone's office?

Christian: Yeah, you nearly gave me a heart attack.

Shinji: You guys are detectives, right?

Edge: (Sarcastically) No, we're two Pizza Hut employees who make pizzas in this office.

Shinji: Now is not the time for jokes. My wife has been kidnapped and I need your help to see who could've done it.

Edge and Christian look at each other, then back at Shinji and smile.

Christian: What do you need us to do?

Shinji: Well, I need you to analyze the fingerprints on this letter I got from the kidnapper.

Edge: Alright, we'll see what we can do.

30 minutes later, Edge and Christian come back with scared looks on their faces.

Shinji: Well?

Edge: We've got some good news and bad news.

Shinji: What's the good news?

Christian: We got a match on the fingerprints.

Shinji: What's the bad news?

Edge: The fingerprints belong to Bray Wyatt.

Shinji: You mean the psycho cult leader? HE HAS MY WIFE?

Edge: Yes, but we're going to help you get your wife back.

Shinji: Thanks. I appreciate it.

Christian: Do you have any idea for someone who can come with us and give us an edge. No pun intended.

Shinji put on a thinking face and snapped his fingers, indicating that he did.

Shinji: I need to make a call.

Shinji pulls out a cell phone and dials a number.

Meanwhile, Rei's mother, Ritsuko is trying to think of anyone who would want to harm her daughter when her phone rang.

Ritsuko: Hello?

Shinji: Ritsuko, Rei's been kidnapped by Bray Wyatt.

Ritsuko: WHAT?

Shinji: I said the same thing too. Look, I got a plan.

The plan will be revealed later. For now, Shinji, Edge, and Christian get into the Detective Mobile (a 1991 Volvo with the E&C Detective Agency logo on it) and start driving.

Edge: So, you guys want to listen to music?

Shinji and Christian: Sure.

Edge: (In a fake, high pitched voice) We want to listen to the Foo Fighters. (Normal voice) Oh, well, I'm not going to stop you guys from listening what you want to listen to.

Christian: NO!

But it was too late, pretty soon, the car was full of old Foo Fighters songs. After a two hour road trip and two hours' worth of Foo Fighters songs, the finally arrived at the Wyatt cabin. Once they arrived, they heard the door close behind them. As they got further into the house, they were all hit in the back of the head with a blunt object and dragged into a basement. When they awoke, they found themselves tied to chairs. But, what Shinji saw in front of him horrified him. He saw his wife, bruised, bloodied, malnourished, and tied to a furnace. Bray Wyatt walks in with a gun.

Bray: Well, well, well. Look who we have here. The COO of Nerv himself, Shinji Ikari, and the two washed up detectives.

Edge and Christian: Washed up?

Shinji: What did you do to my wife?

Bray: Well, I beat her up a little bit because she refused to listen to me, then I fed her some stale cereal in the back of my pantry, then, since I was feeling a little horny yesterday, I…

Bray was silenced by a punch to the face from Shinji. Unknown to Bray, Shinji had gotten himself free of the chair. He also freed Edge, Christian, and Rei. Shinji and Rei embraced with a hug and a kiss.

Shinji: Are you okay, honey?

Rei: (Weakly)Shinji…I…I…I'm in so…much…pain.

Shinji: Alright, at least you're not dead. Let's get out of here.

As the quartet was about to leave, a gunshot stopped them dead in their tracks.

Bray: That was a mistake.

Bray launched at Shinji while putting Rei in a chokehold and holding the gun to her head.

Bray: Now, let's try this again. If you meet my demands, I'll let you all go free. But, if you don't decide, or decide on an answer I don't like, I'll blow her head off.

Shinji thought about it as he got back up.

Shinji: What do you want?

Bray: Good boy. First, I want Nerv to stop testing their products on endangered animals.

Shinji: Done. What else?

Bray: My only other request is to grant the release of my associates.

Edge: You mean Eric Rowan and Luke Harper?

Bray: Yeah.

Christian: Dude, those guys are crazy.

Bray: I don't care. Either meet my demands or Shinji's wife dies.

Shinji: If you think we're going to release those psychopaths…

Bray: I got my answer. Goodbye Rei.

Shinji: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Before Bray could pull the trigger, a needle was stabbed through his back, and he fell face first onto the floor. The stabber was none other than Rei's mother, Ritsuko Akagi.

Rei: (Weakly) …Mom?

Ritsuko: Rei! Are you OK?

Rei: I should be when we leave.

Edge: Nothing like a happy ending.

Then, from out of nowhere, Kanye West appeared, and much like he did to Taylor Swift, tried to out-shine our heroes.

Kanye: Yo! Alright! Ya'll can have your happy reunion later. I'd just like to say that if I were here earlier, I would've saved that girl faster and better than ya'll did.

Edge, Christian, Rei, Shinji, and Ritsuko looked at each other for a second before starting to beat up Kanye. What an even happier ending.