Solitary Star

He missed her so damn bad. He missed casually seeing her at school laughing with friends and seeming so alive. He even missed seeing the way she used her Naginata to cut down even the most powerful of Shadows. Fuck the Dark Hour, screw Tartarus, and to Hell with Nyx, he thought to himself. The Dark Hour took everything he ever loved. His best friend Shinji and the only person he ever loved more than life itself. Minako…please be alive somewhere, somehow…His thoughts wandered back to the first time they met at the dorm. Well, officially met anyway. Minako had been under observation for a few days and he knew Mitsuru thought she had the potential. Potential. What a stupid word that was. It didn't even come close to defining her. She had been power itself. She could wear so many faces and command so many Personas. She could be anything to anyone. To him she was like the sky. She was the sky and he was a single star shining in her vast beauty.

He remembered how she went training with him without as much as a grumble. She ate the beef bowl with no shame or intention of acting like all those other girls who acted coy and fragile. She was real and fierce but compassionate and understanding. He always wondered how she could be so many different things yet still be herself. Her faces weren't facades. He remembered how his heart had skipped a beat when he first took her hand to lead her away from those harassing girls. At first, he didn't understand why it hurt his heart to see her walk home with Junpei or go to dinner with Ken. The worst was when he began to envy Shinji to the point of jealousy. He was jealous of his best friend and brother in bond. Shinji deserved love but why Minako? Why did Shinji have to love her too? Then the incident that took Shinji away happened. He had felt such guilt and regret at having those ugly emotions inside him. It wasn't until Caesar appeared that he could forgive himself for his jealousy.

Then things got serious. Part of him knew Minako would accept him, even the ugly dark side of him. She could bear the weight of his past even if he couldn't himself. He had told her she had reminded him of Miki but that wasn't true. It was just an excuse to talk to her and get her to think of him. He wanted to dominate her thoughts. He was always happy that she took him into battle with her almost all of the time. He wanted to protect her but eventually watching her fight made him anxious. What if she got hurt beyond what a Diarahan could fix? What if he messed up and made things harder for her? He had to become stronger. He did or so he thought he did. When he finally mustered up enough courage to ask her out she made a face like she had been waiting for those words all along. Looking back on it now he wished he had held her more, kissed her more, loved her longer and explored her more. She knew him so well and all he could do was watch her back as she was always the first to climb the stairs of Tartarus.

His mind now wandered to first time she stayed in his room. She hadn't been apprehensive or shy but rather pretty bold as she actually locked the door behind her. He would never force her or expect her to do anything she didn't want but it was true he wanted her. Badly. He had felt silly giving her the rabbit doll while his mind was in the gutter but he reasoned that boys will be boys. She approached that evening like she approached the Dark Hour and everything else. Hard and fast. He was taken aback at how quickly Minako had taken off his favorite red vest. She paused to hold it close and take in his scent. She had never looked more alluring to him than in that moment. He pretty much lost control after that, grabbing her and kissing her hard and deep. She didn't even flinch but instead pushed him farther by parting her lips to welcome his needy tongue. She tasted like he imagined she would, like a sunny day after a rainstorm. Fresh and alive and oh so sweet. She giggled a bit when he moaned as their lips parted. "I need air at some point Senpai. Besides, there's other things we can do besides kiss." That had been it for him. The straw that snapped his self control just like the Dark Hour cut the power. He had her uniform off in seconds which seemed to amuse her to no end. It was his first time so he had no idea what buttons to take off or where. That was where being physically strong helped. If she had been angry about the torn shirt she made no comment about it then or later. "No fair Senpai, you too." Her words were ironic because she was already undressing him. It wasn't like she hadn't seen his body before. There had been the time at the beach but somehow this was different. He tensed slightly as her hands reached his trousers. He wanted to be everything she expected and wanted. No, he wanted to be more. He was put at ease when he saw her eyes widen slightly at the sight of him. "Please Senpai, be gentle with me. This is my first time." He kissed her gently and whispered somewhat shyly that it was his too. Her smile was one of relief and admiration. He didn't know what she could possibly admire about him but if it made her love him he didn't give a damn. That night he had never been more grateful for his endurance training and for the fact that she was just as tough in bed as she was in Tartarus. Actually, she was a bit rough on him. He had suffered a few scratches but the pain was the good kind. The kind that reminded him that she was his to love and his to protect. He thought about how his head fit perfectly at the nape of her neck as he rested next to her, spent and tired. He tried to memorize everything about her. Like her soft pink cheeks, sweaty from all the kissing and riding and her breasts that fit perfectly in his hands. She didn't seem to mind him touching them even though neither of them had energy for another round. Even after she finally fell asleep he just watched her. It was enough for him to have her in his arms completely unguarded and at peace. That first night and those that followed were the only times he felt like he was who he was meant to be. Hers. He was hers to command and to love in any way she felt. He knew that he would take any death blow for her in or outside of Tartarus. Always.

When it mattered, though, he was just like everyone else. Helpless. He had been as helpless to save her the same way everyone else was that night at the peak of Tartarus. Even though he loved her in a way none of them could understand. Even though she chose him to be her lover he could do nothing as she rose, alone, to fight Nyx. His fear that she wouldn't return made him wish his Evoker was a real gun with bullets inside. She did come back though, if only for a short time. Most of which he spent having forgotten the most important times they spent together. At least he knew he loved Minako for other reasons than the Dark Hour but his despair after her death was partially due to his guilt for having her carry the burden of remembering when everyone else, himself included, forgot. Reality had hit him hard when Mitsuru and Aigis pried Minako's lifeless body from his arms. Why? All his mind could think about was that he would never hold her again, never feel her heat under him and never hear her say his name mid breath. Her smile, her laughter, her tears and even her love were all gone in a flash. Had she even heard his last words? "Starting now, we'll never be apart." That's what he had said and it was true. She was inside him, in his heart now and forever.

Akihiko shifted on his bed, his heart heavy with remembering the past. It had been a year already but the pain was still immediate and fresh when he let himself reminisce about his time with SEES. He could see that it was a new moon outside and wondered if the others would think of her as the next full moon approached. Suddenly there was a weight at the foot of his bed making Akihiko jump. His eyes met the gaze of a familiar and dearly beloved person.

"Minako? How-how is this possible? Am I dead? Have I gone to where you are?"

"No Aki. I'm here for now. I was given a gift."

"A gift from who? God?"

He was beginning to cry. His voice threatening to crack at his shear delight at seeing her again. She simply touched his cheek and wiped away a tear. She was warm and soft just as he remembered her to be.

"Helel. The child born from our bond. I can't stay for long but I have till the sun rises."

"I don't understand. But I couldn't give a shit right now as long as I can hold you!"

Akihiko grabbed her close and buried his face into her neck. It had been too long. He never thought he would have this chance again and now that he had it he couldn't think straight. His was dizzy with happiness.

"Only on a new moon can this happen. As the full moon draws closer Nyx gets stronger. I wi-"

Akihiko cut her words short with a fierce and passionate kiss. She sighed into him and smiled, kissing him back. He stopped long enough to ask her something that had been plaguing his mind since her death.

"Are you scared up there? Are you lonely or hurting? Is there anything we, no is there anything I can do to somehow help you?"

"It's not scary because I'm not alone. Ryoji and Shinjiro-senpai are with me. Well, Ryo-Thanatos is with me but he always was and always will be. Shinjiro-senpai said to tell you to get your shit together. The only pain is knowing that I will someday fade and leave you all to face Nyx again. I want to protect you forever and to love you and this world forever but eventually…"

"It's okay Mina, you've done more than any of us ever could. You,-you are and always will be my only love. Do you understand? If Shinji can be by your side then when I die I'll go to you as soon as possible. I want to go there as soon as possible."

"NO! You still have too much to give this world to be with me just yet. Eventually, but not now. Wait for me okay? Every new moon, I'll come to you. So don't you dare go dying! Understand? That's a direct command."

Akihiko understood what she was trying to say. And he never could say no to a direct command so he simply nodded and kissed her again.

Minako laughed and said, "We can do more than kiss you know."

"Oh I know Mina. And just so you know, you will come for me every new moon…"

"Way to ruin the moment! Hahaha, I love you Aki. Starting now, we'll never be apart…"

So she did hear it. He smiled and leaned into his most beloved person. Never apart…