For Rita

"I thought you took French, Kurt."

Kurt sat in his computer chair, legs crossed as much as they could be crossed in his skintight pants. "I am taking French, but Spanish is somewhat of a hobby of mine. I've been studying it since the first time I saw West Side Story when I was 5. I'm fluent."

Sam raised his eyebrow. "Oh. Well, thanks for helping me."

"No problem. So, do you wanna do some of the exercises in the book, or what?"

"I'm supposed to write 200 words about me and my friends and things that I like...you know, the basic stuff."

"Sounds easy. How do you want to start?"

Sam was sprawled out across the floor of Kurt's room, pencil in hand. "Um. I guess with, 'My name is Sam. I'm from Lima, Ohio."

"Well. Alright. Tell me when you need help with something." Sam looked pointedly at Kurt. "Oh, dear." Kurt sighed. "You don't know ANY Spanish?"

"They put me in Spanish II and I've never had it before."

"Goodness. Okay. Write this: Me llamo es Sam. Soy de Lima, Ohio."

Sam scribbled down what Kurt said, misspelling almost every word. "Okay, um...'I want to be a fireman'."

Kurt chuckled darkly, deciding to make things a little more interesting. "Quiero un beso."

"Alright..." More scribbling. "How about, 'I have many good friends. My friends are Kurt, Finn, Puck, and Quinn'."

"Me encanta cómo su boca se siente en mis pezones. Quiero lamer el pene de Kurt, pero Finn, Puck, y Quinn son mis amigos y que son sensibles." Kurt replied, grinning mischievously.

"Pene?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, now! Who is the Spanish expert here—me or you?" Kurt winked at Sam, who was searching through his Spanish-English dictionary and giggling uncontrollably.

"Okay, I know you put 'Penis' in there somewhere!" Sam exclaimed, flipping pages frantically.

"Would you LIKE me to put penis in there somewhere?"

Sam looked up from his book. "You are such a flirt, man."

"You like it." Kurt bore holes into Sam with his eyes. A coy smile plastered itself across his face.

The corners of Sam's mouth fought to stay neutral. He cleared his throat. "What makes you think that?" Sam asked, propping his chin up on his hands.

Kurt put the end of his ballpoint pen in his mouth. "Well, I don't know. Just a hunch, I guess." He stood and walked across the room, stepping over Sam to get to his backpack. "I'm gonna work on my homework, if that's okay."

"Well, what about my Spanish?"

"You have a Spanish-English dictionary, Sam. You can look words up without my help."

Sam stood and faced Kurt. "Then why am I here?"

"I don't know," Kurt stepped closer to Sam, their faces an inch apart. "Why ARE you here?"

Kurt and Sam had been flirting hot and heavy for almost a month now. When Sam asked Kurt to study at his house, Kurt was almost sure it was an invitation to take things to the next level.

Sam turned away. "I don't know, for French."

Kurt cocked to his head to the side in confusion. "You wanted me to help you with Spanish, not French."

"I know." Sam smiled slightly and then kissed Kurt full on the mouth.

Oh. French. That's funny!, Kurt thought before wrapping his arms around Sam and deciding nothing else mattered.