It was valentines day,
In the land of Hyrule,
And Link was alone,
Oh fate, thou are cruel.
He paced and he pondered,
While scratching some itches,
And he thought to himself,
"I needs me some bitches!"
"Hey!" came a voice,
Loud and high pitched,
And when Link turned around,
He saw a little white witch.
Navi the fairy,
A companion most sweet,
But how could she help,
Link get him some meat?
An idea came to mind,
One that filled him with glee,
He'd write out a note,
And stick it to the fairy.
He'd send her on her way,
To the local town market,
Where she'd look for women,
Who seemed quite upset.
Then Link would run down,
And cast them a line,
Luring them in,
For a feast most sublime.
"I need me some pussy!"
Link screamed in his head,
As he wrote out the note,
Sitting naked in bed.
"Aha!" he would say,
"I have finished my plea!"
And as Navi read the note,
She laughed and fell quickly.
"You'll never get a girl,
With some bullshit like this!"
With those words his heart sank,
And he went for a piss.
While Link was in the bathroom,
The fairy took out her quill,
"I'll make this note work,
For his wish is my will!"
By the time he was done,
Navi's edits were complete,
"Here!" she said to Link,
"This should get you some heat."
As she winked and flew away,
Link itched both his balls,
He cought one with his nail,
And screamed at the walls.
"BASTARD!" he'd yell,
"That hurt so damn much!
But I gotta get this note out there,
So I got some pussy to touch!"
He raced through the fields,
Of the Hyrulean plaines,
Enorphins being released,
Straight into his veins.
He got to the market,
And scouted for chicks,
Noticing only,
Large men with large dicks.
He felt so inadequiet,
And started to blunder,
Mumbling harsh words,
About his one-inch wonder!
He saw a lone girl,
Rubbing her snatch,
So he slowly approached,
Thinking they'd be a match.
He was so god-damn horny,
And in such a rush,
He wasn't even bothered,
If this girl had thrush!
He looked in her eyes,
Startled, she seemed,
As picked her off her feet,
And he thought of his dreams.
He carried her home,
And lay her on his bed,
He was so happy,
To get Valentines head!
Hope you enjoyed my poem :]
