Chapter 1
"Nino, we agreed that I would drive first." Alya places her hands on her hips, foot beginning to tap in frustration. They've been going back and forth for about ten minutes now and she's tired of this metaphorical ping-pong match. Why can't the boy just be less damn annoying?
Nino shrugs noncommittedly and jingles the car keys in her face. "My car, my rules, Al. I always take first shift on these trips, it's tradition. Besides, I only agreed to that because it was ridiculous o'clock in the morning and I needed sleep." He blows her a kiss and unlocks the car so that they can start loading their stuff into it.
Alya takes a minute to just stare at him and wonder how she ended up dating someone so irritating and immature and insufferable and –
"Al, I know what you're thinking but I'm going to remind you that you love me for all my faults and secretly find them endearing because I'm just that loveable."
– and apparently psychic.
"Just shut up and get in the driver's seat, idiot."
Nino grins widely at her and lands a quick peck on her cheek anyway. Although he will swear up and down that he doesn't love anything more than Alya (except for his Bestest Bro Adrien), annoying Alya makes for a pretty close second.
The road trips have been an annual tradition for the last three years. Their first trip, to Calais, took place three weeks into the summer before university started and, ever since then, they'd made it an official tradition to explore somewhere new every year.
This year, they're tackling the seven-hour drive to Marseille. She's had the itinerary planned for weeks now but, as usual, it will likely go out of the window as a result of Nino's need for spontaneity, Marinette's inability to stay organised, and Adrien's hate for schedules in general. It doesn't matter, it's all part of the routine and Alya is as excited as ever.
Except seven hours is a long time. As much as she loves Nino, seven hours is a long, long time and she will be stuck in the passenger seat forever.
"I promise you won't be stuck in the passenger seat forever." Nino grins at her from in the car, reading her mind.
Alya raises an eyebrow. The psychic mind reading thing would be more impressive if they didn't have this exact conversation every year. Especially seeing as how last year turned out.
"Okay, okay. You won't be stuck in the passenger seat forever, this time. Better?" Nino waits for Alya to roll her eyes dramatically. "Now get your butt in the car, we're gonna be late! I wanna beat traffic and that's not gonna happen if you stand there tapping your foot at me all day!"
"You're lucky I love you, Lahiffe."
"So I've been told." he winks back at her. Alya wants to roll her eyes again.
It's barely seven but it's still a Saturday and traffic will pile up in no time. Alya's never been too fond of super early mornings, but it's a sacrifice she's willing to make if it means that they have the best damn road trip of all time. She's so glad that they haven't stopped doing these trips.
With university and work and all the other responsibilities they each have it's become so much harder to plan and organise things like this, and for a while Alya was worried that they'd stop altogether.
Her internship has been so full on recently that she hasn't seen Marinette in a week and she hadn't even been able to grab lunch with Adrien on Tuesday because all her lunch hours have been devoted to finalising content in the lead up to press week. Heck, she's barely seen Nino and she lives with him. Although to be fair this DJ gig has Nino working mainly nights, so he's usually already gone by the time she gets home and is asleep when she leaves in the mornings.
"How come you're so awake?" She practically yawns the words out.
"Are you kidding me? We're on our way to pick up my Bestest Bro in the world! Of course I'm gonna be awake for this!" He's practically bouncing in his seat.
"Nino, you saw Adrien on Monday. It's only been, like, four days –"
"I'm gonna stop you right there, Al. Because obviously someone doesn't know how to recognise true love when they see it. Any time spent apart from my Bestest Bro is too much time apart." Nino clutches his hand to his heart and the way his voice cracks on 'true love' is just too perfect.
"You know anyone would guess that you're actually Adrien's boyfriend and not mine." She deadpans, arms folded and one eyebrow raised. Nino's random declarations of True Love for Adrien are now a regular occurrence in Alya's life. The two of them are, as Nino puts it, the bestest bros in all of Paris.
He really wants to get that written on matching t-shirts for Adrien's birthday and if Alya didn't already know that Adrien was planning the same thing for Nino's birthday, she would back him one hundred percent.
Except she is Alya and Everyone tells her Everything. It's both a blessing and a curse.
"Nino, you were supposed to take the last left, what are you doing? I thought you said you wanted to get on the road ASAP, not take the scenic route to Adrien's apartment!"
"Well, in case you didn't notice the scenic route is the only one not blocked up by traffic."
"Hey, use your turn signal you idiot! You can't just do whatever the hell you want whenever-"
"The road was clear, there is literally nobody around to care about whether or not I use the turn signal apart from you!" Nino huffs. "And you are in the same car as me!"
"Alright you know what – actually, hold that thought. Mari's calling you." Alya sticks her tongue out at her boyfriend's stupid smug face before answering Nino's phone. "Mari girl, hey. Yeah – no, well I – one sec, let me put you on speaker, alright?"
"Mari! My number two bro! You're on speaker, dude!" Nino grins.
"Hey, Nino!" Marinette giggles from the other end of the line.
"I can't wait until we get to yours because Alya has been driving me insane and I need you to distract her!"
"Is that all I'm worth to you? I'm offended."
"Seriously, dude. I miss you, Maribro." Alya may complain about a lack of Marinette time, but Nino hasn't seen her in three weeks. They've had to make do with weirdly timed texts and rushed face times at all sorts of hours. The only reason they manage to talk as much as they do is because they're both practically nocturnal at this point and they can vent to one another about a lack of both sleep and a social life.
Marinette and Nino fall into easy conversation about planned playlists for the trip, yet another tradition. They always come up with seriously long-winded titles and, intrepid writer and grammar enthusiast that she is, Alya wants to strangle them sometimes.
She's just glad that there's a character limit on Spotify because after the 'where-the-hell-are-we-tunes-for-when-nino-inevitably-takes-a-wrong-turn-after-arguing-with-alya-because-of-their-differing-opinions-on-maps' playlist, Alya was prepared to stage an intervention.
She doesn't even know why they need a specific playlist for that, but it exists. Right between 'we-need-a-coffee-break-soon-because-nino-will-kill-someone-if-we-don't-stop-before-this-playlist-ends' and 'we-are-going-to-be-stuck-in-traffic-so-this-playlist-is-six-hours-worth-of-the-least-annoying-songs-we-could-think-of'.
Alya tunes back into the conversation just as they pull into the car park of Adrien's apartment building. Nino and Marinette are currently planning an 'alya-is-about-to-get-into-a-fight-with-a-random-stranger-in-another-car-and-we-need-to-distract-her' playlist and, at this point, she doesn't want to know what exactly that entails. Instead of asking, she looks down at her phone.
From: my best pal al
To: The Boyfriend's Husband
Dude, we're outside your building.
In a strictly non-stalkerish way that is.
Obviously.
Yes, Alya may be an adult but that does not mean that she has outgrown using nicknames for all of her contacts. None of them really have.
From: The Boyfriend's Husband
To: my best pal al
I thought I had the restraining order posted last month.
From: my best pal al
To: The Boyfriend's Husband
Do you want to see your husband or not?
From: The Boyfriend's Husband
To: my best pal al
NINO
STOP TEXTING ME ALYA YOU'RE DISTRACTING ME
I NEED TO LEAVE
"Is that my bestest bro?" Nino's ears perk up at Alya's text notifications.
"Yeah, and from the looks of things I suggest you go help him before he hurts himself or breaks something because –"
Nino is out of the car before she can fully complete her sentence. She can hear Marinette chuckling in the background.
"You know, Alya, you might have some competition there."
"Tell me about it, girl." Alya laughs. "Although I will point out that this means that you and Nino are also in competition." She grins slyly; she can practically see Marinette turning beet red already.
"That's different, me and Adrien aren't in a long-term relationship. Or any type of remotely romantic relationship at all." The last part is added somewhat dejectedly.
It's no secret that Marinette has been in love with Adrien since she was fifteen and, whilst the schoolgirl crush vibe has significantly decreased with time, she is still very much in love with him. Alya sighs and presses the phone to her ear, switching off speaker mode.
She and Nino have both agreed to say nothing to Adrien about Marinette's feelings and, although it's been killing her to watch the two of them flit around each other hopelessly, a promise is a promise.
"Mari, I'm telling you. He likes you. Like, like-likes you. He just doesn't know it yet." She's positive about this. There is literally no other explanation that Alya can think of. It's just that Marinette is so quick to dismiss the evidence.
"Who like-likes Marinette?" Shit, she forgot the window was down. Nino appears suddenly to her left, carrying what appears to be twelve packs of Oreos. She hadn't even seen him or Adrien exit the building.
"Someone like-likes Marinette?" Adrien pipes up as he opens the door and slides into the back seat.
"Uh…" Shit.
"Alya is that Adrien?! What the f–"
"Gottagotalktoyouwhenwepickyouuplaterloveyoubyeee!" She clicks the end call button as fast as is humanly possible.
"So, who is it?" Adrien grabs a pack of Oreos from Nino and rips it open. Alya turns around and grabs the pack before he can grab a cookie. "Hey! I haven't had breakfast yet!" He sticks his bottom lip out and pouts. It would have been cute if he was a toddler and not a six foot one model.
"Listen, Model Boy. Firstly, the pouting isn't working so cut it. Secondly, you can't steal my boyfriend and expect me to not steal Oreos." She grabs three cookies from the packet before tossing it back to Adrien. "Thirdly, Oreos are not a nutritional breakfast and you are officially grounded."
Adrien sticks his tongue out at her before biting into a cookie. "I'm a grown man and you can't tell me what to do, Alya."
"Yeah, well I'm older than you." Alya looks down at her phone and begins to shoot a quick text to Marinette, just to reassure her easily panicked friend that Adrien is on to nothing.
From: queen of everything
To: my precious macaron
Don't stress, Mari.
I've distracted Adrien with Oreos.
Also he's grounded for not eating a proper breakfast.
From: my precious macaron
To: queen of everything
thank fuck.
From: queen of everything
To: my precious macaron
Watch your language or you'll be grounded too.
"You may be older, but I'm taller." Adrien grins at her in the rear-view mirror. This has been an ongoing joke since forever and frankly, Alya does not appreciate him insinuating that she is short. She's a perfectly average height of five foot seven.
Okay, maybe she's five feet six and a half. But her point still stands. (If she was Adrien she would make a joke about her point standing taller than she does). Alya groans audibly.
"What was that, babe?" Nino asks as he slides behind the wheel.
"Nothing. I just made an Adrien joke in my head and I am disappointed in myself." Alya slumps her head against the window as Nino snorts and high fives Adrien. "I need coffee, like, yesterday."
Adrien pokes the back of Alya's head. "Don't worry, Al. We can hit up Starbucks after we pick up Marinette."
Alya groans again. "I need real coffee. Not one of those frappe-mocha-sugar-overload monstrosities." She's not a coffee snob, but really, Starbucks? "Is there no way we can swing by Tom and Sabine's?"
"The bakery is almost twenty minutes out of the way, Al. If you can deal with Starbucks just for today I'll buy you a pain au chocolat too." Nino promises.
Alya considers this thoughtfully for a good couple minutes before nodding decisively. "Fine. Make it a pain a chocolat and a granola bar and you have a deal."
"Deal."
The drive to Marinette's apartment takes ten minutes longer than it should have because Adrien forgot to lock his apartment and they had to turn back. When they finally arrive, she's sitting on the bench on the pavement just outside her building, sketchbook and pencil in hand, as usual.
Adrien rolls down his window, grinning at the fact that Marinette hasn't even noticed that they've practically pulled up directly in front of her. "Hey, Marinette!" He leans slightly out of the window and waves. "Any new designs?"
"Adrien! Hi! Yes, designs have new! Uh, I mean – I new designs drawn – er, no wait – " Marinette drops her sketchbook and pencils in surprise, stationery flying everywhere as she scrambles to find words. She kicks herself mentally; all she wants is to form one coherent sentence. Does it really have to be this difficult?
Adrien chuckles momentarily before exiting the car to help Marinette collect her things. She hasn't been this awkward around him since their school days and, although he was relieved when she started to act normal around him, part of him has missed this.
"Here," he hands her back her pencil case, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry to startle you like that, Mari."
Marinette smiles back, taking the pencil case and stuffing it into her bag. "It's alright, Adrien. I'm glad you guys finally made it though, I've been sitting out here for almost half an hour now." She directs the latter part of the sentence at Nino, accompanied by a pointed look.
"Again, that was my fault, sorry." Adrien laughs apologetically.
Marinette raises an eyebrow. "Did you forget to lock your apartment like last time?"
His embarrassed nod tells her all she needs to know.
"Whenever you two have finished your conversation, I would still like to hit the road ASAP." Nino calls from the car. He's not frustrated just yet, but Adrien knows that if they hit traffic they'll all get the This Situation Was Easily Avoidable and You All Ruined It speech. It's not a fun speech.
The trip to Starbucks is fairly uneventful. Nino buys Alya her coffee (black, one sugar, because at least I can pretend this is real coffee) and her food, which she practically snatches from the barista's hands, as well as an iced caramel macchiato for himself (Alya, I'm paying so don't criticise me). Marinette orders a chai tea latte (it's the best of both worlds okay? Shut up, Adrien, I'm not basic) and Adrien sticks with hot chocolate (because I've only been awake for an hour and a half and I need sugar. A lot of it).
Marinette always maintains that the road trip has never officially started until they reach the highway. Only then do the traditions really begin. Nino's first playlist of choice is 'all-those-songs-that-we-like-even-though-they-are-awful'. The 'we' in this case is only Marinette. When the Playlist Committee was first formed they came up with a set of ten rules:
The Ten Rules of the Road Trip Playlist Committee
Each Playlist Exectutive is allowed to make one playlist without the other's permission
The other member must allow this playlist to be played at any time, no complaints
There are to be no exceptions to universal karaoke when Carly Rae Jepsen's artistic masterpiece 'Call Me Maybe' is played
Each playlist (apart from the aforementioned excepted permission playlist) must be the result of a team effort
Alya is not allowed to make playlists
All passenger requests must be agreed upon by the Playlist Executives
There will be no Bieber at any time. Ever.
Adrien is only allowed three song requests every hour.
The soundtrack of 'Cats' is not appropriate road trip material. Do not play it, no matter how much Adrien pleads.
Any rules broken will result in immediate termination of the guilty Playlist Executive.
Marinette is pretty sure that Nino has violated Rule Number 1 already, but she's willing to let it slide because, to be completely fair, she ends up sleeping through a lot of the car journey. It's not like she falls asleep on purpose, it's just that her blanket is super warm and fluffy. Can she really be blamed?
"Alright, my dudes, I officially declare this road trip in motion!" Nino grins as the intro to the Ghostbusters theme fills the car. "We are hitting the highway!"
Alya whips out her camera, snapping a quick selfie of all four of them before turning it onto video mode. "You heard it, folks. The road trip is officially underway! Marseille, here we come! Hey, Mari, say hi to my vlog! You too, Model Boy." Alya shoves the camera into her friends' faces, barely allowing them time to react before yanking it back. "This is gonna be the Best. Trip. Ever!"
