Fili and Kili stood stiller than stone, their eyes fixed on the bottom of the not-so-shallow lake and the glinting sword that lay at the bottom of it. Fili's mind replayed the scenario that had just taken place, wishing that he had moved to catch the sword sooner. Kili's thoughts were fixed on the future and the amount of trouble that he was about to be in, because he knew that everyone would automatically assume that he was to blame and not his brother. As if to counter his oh-so-sure fate, he turned to Fili and said:
"This is all your fault."
"My fault?" Fili wheeled around to face his brother. "Who's idea was it to 'borrow' Uncle Thorin's sword in the first place?"
"I'm not the one who dropped it in the lake," Kili stated defensively.
"I only dropped it because you tripped me," Fili informed him.
"I did not trip you," Kili was nearly shouting at this point. "You tripped over me because you're to clumsy to walk in a strait line."
"You're one to talk," Fili shot back.
Their argument went on like this for several more minutes, until the both of them realized that yelling at each other was not going to help their situation at all. This epiphany made them feel even more hopeless and defeated. The brothers slumped next to the edges of the lake.
"One of us is going to have to go get it," Fili finally said and Kili groaned.
"Everyone will surely notice one of us showing up soaked," he replied.
"We could say that we fell in to the lake," Fili suggested.
"You're not that clumsy," Kili told him with a slight smirk.
"The worst part is," Fili pretended not to hear Kili's comment. "This isn't even the first time this has happened."
"Wee! I'm King Under the Mountain!" Young Kili shouted waving Thorin's sword in the air.
"Shh," Fili chided him. "Someone's going to hear you!"
This made Kili giggle even more, and Fili took this as an opportunity to take the sword from his younger brother. He then began to wave it around, with slightly better form than Kili. Sneaking the sword from Thorin's house to a patch of land a distance away from the village had been a team effort and both of them were very pleased with their results.
"We are going to have to go back before Uncle gets home," Fili told his brother. Kili nodded deciding to leave it up to Fili to keep track of the time.
By now Kili had the sword, and started to jump around gleefully. Fili laughed as he watched his brother continue to call himself 'King Under the Mountain.' Neither of them noticed that Kili was wondering closer and closer to the lake behind him until it was too late.
Kili gave a shout, as he teetered over the edge, and Fili ran to him, grabbing his free arm. Fortunately Fili was able to pull his brother to safety, unfortunately Kili had lost grip of the sword, letting it fall to the bottom of the lake. A silence passed between the two of them as their eyes both followed the sinking sword. The silence ended when Kili screamed:
"Uncle Thorin's gonna kill us!"
"We are dead," Kili's voice was heavy.
"I though I was going to get to see the mountain," Fili murmured, "not die here."
"There was so much I wanted to do with my life," Kili whined. "I'm not ready for it to be over!"
"Are you two alright?" Fili and Kili spun around to see Bilbo standing behind them, looking slightly concerned.
"We're fine," Fili said quickly.
"Everything is great," Kili said loudly.
"Oh," Bilbo made no attempt to hide his confusion. "But you were talking about dying, and I-"
"Can hobbit's swim well?" Kili asked suddenly.
"What?" Bilbo's brow wrinkled, doubting the relevance of the question. "Well, er, no. Not very well."
"And Uncle probably wouldn't be that suspicious if you fell in the lake," Fili spoke slowly.
"Excuse me?" Bilbo seemed to be contemplating the best way to get as far from the two dwarves as possible.
"And if you did fall in of course we would jump in to save you," Kili continued.
"I'm sorry, but," Bilbo stammered. "What's going on?"
"Would you mind doing us a favor?" Fili asked politely.
"If you don't we will most likely be killed," Kili added.
"It's the end of the world!" Kili wailed as both he and his brother ran around in circles howling at their fate.
"We could just hide until he forgets his sword is missing," Fili suggested, but then thought better of it. "No, that will probably take a hundred years."
"We have to run away," he announced. "Until we are much older and he can forgive us," he added. Tears formed in Kili's eyes.
"But I wanna stay here," he complained.
"Why did we have to take Uncle's sword?" Fili lamented.
"I'm never going to steal anything ever again!" Kili declared.
"What did you steal?" The brother's froze, recognizing the voice behind them. Both pairs of eyes were wide with fear as they turned around to see Thorin standing behind them with his arms folded across his chest and an unamused expression. They exchanged a look of hopelessness, before screaming and running in the opposite direction.
"You want me to jump into the lake?" Bilbo asked in amazement.
"And pretend that you fell in, when you're asked," Kili answered.
"If you do it we'll take your watch shift for an entire week," Fili added.
"Can't you just explain to Thorin-"
"That we stole his sword to fool around with it and dropped it in a lake?" Fili asked with a raised eyebrow. "Can you imagine his reaction to that story?"
"Fair point," Bilbo said. "You will pull me out immediately?"
"Yes, yes," Kili said quickly. "Fili will pull you out and then retrieve the sword."
"We will them hide the sword so that Kili can come back for it later," Fili explained.
"Then we go back to camp and tell everyone that you nearly died," Kili finished with a grin.
"Please do this for us?" Fili pleaded, and Kili demonstrated his trade-mark puppy-dog eyes.
"Fine," Bilbo sighed. "But next time do not take anything that belongs to Thorin."
"We learned our lesson," Fili assured him.
"We'll never steal again," Kili added.
"Alright then." Bilbo looked uncertainly at the brothers one more time before hopping into the lake. He was only under the water for a few seconds, and didn't find it as unpleasant as he thought he would. After all, he wasn't a terrible swimmer, just not a good one.
Fili quickly pulled Bilbo out of the lake, and Kili helped him stumble back on to the land. Bilbo shivered, his wet clothes making the cool air even colder. Fili then dived into the lake, grabbing the sword and bobbing back up. Kili swiftly made a cut across a large tree and stashed the sword behind it. The three of them made their way back to the camp, Fili reviewing their cover story once more.
When they arrived they were greeted by several worried dwarves. Kili explained what happened (or rather what they wanted everyone to think happened) while Bilbo and Fili were each given a blanket and a fire was started to warm them. Fili and Kili were convinced that everyone believed their tale, and only Bilbo noticed a dubious expression pass across Thorin's face.
It was much later in the evening (Bilbo was certain that Kili had already returned the sword) that Thorin approached Bilbo who was sitting alone by the fire.
"What actually happened?" The Dwarf King asked him.
"I'm sorry?" Bilbo did his best to pretend to be confused by the question.
"You didn't fall into a lake," Thorin seemed more amused than irritated, but Bilbo decided to continue the pretense.
"Yes I did," he insisted. "I tripped on a tree root."
"I thought Kili said you tripped on a fallen branch," Thorin asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Well, um, I," Bilbo stammered, before sighing and giving into defeat. "What tipped you off?"
"You are a terrible liar, Master Baggins." Thorin said simply. "What did they do?"
"I'm afraid I can't tell you that part." To Bilbo's surprise Thorin nodded, understanding.
"Knowing Kili, it will come out eventually," Thorin told him, and Bilbo knew that he was right.
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