Hey there! I ended up writing this story after being inspired by this post: fuckyesdeadpool tumblr com /post/111605508230/i-dont-know-much-about-spider-man-but-is-he and joking about Peter being a crazy catlady with my friend ShadowThorne. I had way too much fun writing this.
I hope you will enjoy it!
After two weeks of sending expectant glares at his disappointingly silent phone, Wade gave in.
"Look, Pete, I'm getting a bit lonely here. We should talk this over."
"Use your hand," came the apathetic answer.
"Wow, don't be so harsh. I didn't mean it in the sexy way," Wade pouted and kicked his feet up on the table, ignoring the tiny pieces of dirt falling from his boots onto the wooden surface. For this Peter would have glared at him and told him "Wade, that's where we put our food", which Wade would have quickly answered with "no, we put our food in our mouth, silly". But Peter wasn't there, so all of these only happened in Wade's head. It only made his pout bigger. "I was thinkin' we should meet or something? Have a taco and maybe a beer?" he continued hopefully.
"You know where I live. If you want to talk, you can just come over."
"What about the tacos?"
"Bring some take-out?"
"Alright," Wade sighed. "See you soon, Pete."
"Yeah, bye."
Wade hung up and climbed to his feet.
After buying some tacos and making his way through New York to Peter's apartment, he was finally taking the stairs to the flat. He stopped before the door, then let himself in without knocking.
"Hey there, baby boy!" he exclaimed in a cheerful tone, as if nothing had happened at all and he wasn't there to make up after a pretty bad argument.
Four heads rose to look at him. Uh oh. Three of them were very hairy.
"Hello, Wade," Peter replied with a small smile. How could he smile when there were three beasts sitting in his lap, on his legs, at his side...
"I thought you knew I was allergic to cats?" Wade squeaked.
"I did," the simple response came. Wade almost dropped his tacos. Almost. He'd never drop tacos.
"You did," he repeated, tasting the words. "But what about–"
"Wade, I really like cats. You know I've always wanted kitties, and I'm not getting rid of them for you." That felt like he was punched in the stomach.
"But what am I supposed to do then?! I can't be around cats!" He sneezed just for enhancement.
Peter shrugged with a deadpan.
"Deal with it."
"I... wow. Okay." Wade spun around and slammed the door behind himself. He could hear Peter's laughter through the door. What the fuck was he laughing at? This wasn't funny. Wade angrily stomped down the stairs, muttering horrid things about Peter. Before he could leave the apartment complex, his phone buzzed. He debated whether he should just ignore it, but checked it in the end. He read the text even though it was from Peter, who happened to piss him off only two minutes ago.
'The cats are being babysat, they're going back to MJ tomorrow afternoon. Promise I'll clean up till the evening.'
Wade just stared at his phone with an expressionless face. After a moment his shoulders started lightly shaking with laughter, then he shook his head and left the building mumbling something about Peter being a crazy catperson under his breath.
