Will I Lose My Dignity?

Sequel to It's Happening Again

Author's Note: I don't own Degrassi nor any other literary or pop culture references. I'm sorry it took so long to get this going, but I didn't want to start a story without knowing where it was going first.

Chapter 1 – Reminiscing

Looking back on the past year, Clare couldn't help but see just how much her life had changed. Though it seemed like a lifetime ago, it was, in fact, one year to the day that she and Eli had attended the black and white dance, where everything had gone awry.

After the police took K.C. away that night, he spent six months in a juvenile detention center, where he received counseling to sort through his anger issues and his feelings towards Jenna's pregnancy and later motherhood.

Jenna gave birth less than a week after taking second place in the Next Teen Star competition. She named her baby girl Hope because after hearing from three different record companies in the hours following the finale, she knew that was exactly what she had won. Hope. Hope for herself and her baby whom she now knew she could provide for.

Fitz was still in the background. When the police questioned him about his part in K.C.'s plan, he admitted that he had been over the feud with Eli and Adam, which explained his inactivity in the weeks preceding the dance. He had simply been monetarily compensated to stall Eli and Adam from leaving. He received a month's suspension from school, since his involvement took place on school grounds.

Clare's bruises took about a week to fade completely, while the hurt she felt took a bit longer. She found it hard not to blame herself for putting herself in the situation by not trusting Eli. Though he insisted her guilt was completely unnecessary, she spent several weeks continuing to apologize.

Before Clare fell asleep the night of the dance, she slid her abstinence ring back on her finger. She almost felt as if its absence had left her too vulnerable. Besides, the one person she had been thinking of when she took it off hadn't even noticed it was missing.

Eli spent the first few weeks trying to comfort Clare, but found it difficult to shake the thoughts he'd had when Fitz told him Clare had left the dance because of him. Sometimes he would wake up in a cold sweat at night, having dreamt of Julia's accident. It was always the same image. He would cross the police tape roping off the scene of the accident, just as he had that night, but as he approached the frail body on the asphalt, it was Clare he saw, bloodied and broken. As time went by, the nightmare occurred less frequently, but its image was forever burned on Eli's brain.

He spent the next several months proving to Clare that making her happy was more important to him than getting the one-up on some stupid bully. Eli was also relieved that when Fitz made his entrance back into the halls of Degrassi, Adam seemed to be completely off Fitz's radar. What was even more surprising was the scene Eli overheard on Fitz's second day back.

Eli was casually strolling down the hall to meet Clare at her locker, when he rounded the corner and saw Fitz speaking to her. His first instinct was to dart between them, but he knew it would only disappoint Clare. Instead, he retreated back around the corner, still within earshot.

"Sure, you can talk to me," Clare answered cautiously.

"I just wanted to apologize about… well… you know," he struggled to get the words out.

"Helping K.C.?" she prompted.

"Well… yeah… Listen, if I had known he was actually gonna hurt you, I never would've agreed to it. I thought he was just gonna talk you into getting back with him," he explained.

"It's okay, but thanks. I appreciate the apology."

Fitz nodded and then turned and walked out the door to the parking lot.

The thing that surprised Eli the most was not the apology itself, but the absolute sincerity behind it. Seeing Fitz be a decent human being for once made Eli see even clearer just how stupid their feud had been.

It was none of these things; however, that caused Clare's life to turn upside down. This event was the one unfolding before Clare's eyes at this very moment.

"Clare, honey, sit down please," her mother asked, gesturing to the sofa across from the two armchairs that her parents occupied.

Clare had just arrived home after spending the afternoon at Eli's house. The blush from their parting kiss was still coloring her cheeks. She sat down cautiously, eyes darting from her mother to her father and back again.

"Clare, your father and I need to tell you something," her mother began. "We have decided that it is best for all of us to separate."

"So you're telling me, you're getting divorced?"

"I know this is hard. It's hard for all of us," her father stated.

"But you've been going to therapy. I thought it was helping," said Clare, her voice feeling tiny.

"Honey, sometimes people just grow apart. We think it would make for a better environment, especially for you, if we separate," her mother replied.

"So what's going to happen? Who's leaving?" Clare looked down at her lap, tears beginning to sting her eyes.

"Please don't look at it that way, Clare. Neither of us is leaving you. I've gotten an apartment. It's close to work, and it has a really nice extra bedroom that you can decorate any way you want for when you come to visit," her father explained.

Silence fell between the three of them. Clare knew they were waiting on a response from her. Instead, she stood up and walked determinedly up to her room, locking the door behind her.