A/N: Although I have many things to (including finishing the latest chap. of Babysitter Kakashi…yes it'll be updated soon…) this plot just hit me…actually it was inspired by reading stories with Sasuke and Sakura w/ kids. Hopefully nothing is the same…at least I don't believe it is. Enjoy. Review?

I don't own Naruto

Chap. 1:

Sasuke Uchiha's eyebrow twitched in annoyance at Sakura. That wasn't anything new since he called her annoying from the time they were Genins. But this annoyance wasn't the same as the annoyance from their childhood, as messed up as it was.

"Aa."

"Sasuke- kun I know your annoyed." Sakura sighed in exasperation. Didn't he know she had learned to read all his expressions, as little as they were?

"Then don't do it."

"Sasuke-kun you know I have to. It's the only way the people in the Rain country will ever have decent medic- nins. Tsunade asked me to go train the nins and besides I'll return in 2 weeks." Sakura added more clothes and weapons into a bag.

"Why doesn't she just go then? You know I can't take care of him all alone." Sasuke gestured toward a room that was painted a soft buttery yellow. Every time he went into that room he wanted to gag. Boys did NOT have yellow colored rooms. Sadly Sakura refused to think about logic and claimed she refused to let their son live in emoness and anything dark.

Personally if you ask him there was nothing wrong with being emo and dark. Wasn't that more alluring than being stupid and loud like the dobe? Che, the horror. If his son ever grew up anything like the dobe because of the dobe's bad influence…Sasuke's eyes twitched. He wasn't even going to try to explain the horrors that he would unleash.

Sakura glanced at the nursery that held a 5 month old Ren Uchiha. A smile curved on her face at the thought of Sasuke taking care of Ren all by himself. She couldn't wait to hear about it from everyone when she got back. It didn't take her ninja instincts to know things would end up in disaster. It just took her mother's and wife instincts.

" Sasuke-kun you know she has to stay here. Naruto is going to be Hokage for a week and you know she has to be here to supervise him." Sakura bit back a smile. The way Sasuke was carrying on just might show how you much he would miss her.

"Che, one idiot teaching another." Sasuke mumbled. Damn it, how was he going to take care of a baby with no Sakura to help out and still carry out missions? He was an Anbu captain after all.

"Tsunade- sama gave you time off from missions and you'll have plenty of help from everyone." Sakura smirked at his expression. He was probably damning her for not letting him stay cold and emo-like. Ha those days were long gone.

" Hn."

Sakura laughed as they made their way to the nursery and looked at the…black and blue colored walls.

Sasuke smirked behind her. Did she think she had complete control over him?! Aa, as if.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

This wasn't so hard. Sasuke leaned back and read some reports. It was almost 2 hours since Sakura left, kissing the Uchiha men goodbye. All Ren had done so far was sleep and …well sleep.

Heh, he was an expert at taking care of babies.

Sasuke stared at the loads of paper and wondered if the current Hokage of the week had as much. As if, all of it must've been passed down to him. Sighing and mentally screaming Sasuke went to work.

Hours later loud wails woke Sasuke up from his own nap. Yawning Sasuke blinked at the time. It was pretty dark or maybe it was the darkness in the nursery. The poor baby boy was terrified but as Sasuke saw it, his son was probably in heaven in the black/blue room.

"Wahhhhh!" The little Uchiha cried making Sasuke winch. Ren really did have his mother's loud voice. Sighing went to call out for Sakura and then stopped. Arggg, what was he supposed to do. Change Ren's nappies?! He suddenlty froze. No way in hell was this emo god going to do that. The very first time Sakura had made him to that Sasuke had thrown up, much to Sakura's amusement. Cringing Sasuke quickly peeked and… sighed in relief. That was short lived when the wails got louder and Ren failed his chubby baby arms around. Damn was he hungry?

Shaking Ren up and down Sasuke walked over to a night table near the black and blue crib (he had defiantly put his foot down about a white crib. It was too damn bright.). There he found a bottle except it was half full and the milk was cold. Where was it that Sakura said she put the milk?! He had been too busy thinking of removing all the bright articles in the room before she got back. Everything was making him blind and this was one of the places in his house that spend the most time in.

"Hn." Sasuke looked down at Ren who was sobbing now, his tiny body shuddering in spasm against Sasuke's chest. His arms tightened and he walked around in circles. Ren stopped crying and hiccups came out once in a while.

Sitting down at a rocking chair Sasuke rocked it gently to and fro. A tiny grin overtook the stone faced Uchiha when he looked at a miniature version of him. Everything was the same; the eye color, the nose, the face…except for the hair. Yes even though Ren's hair wasn't that long Sasuke swore he saw some pink rooted hari sprouting out. His son would be a freak! (Not that he cared since he'd beat anyone up who said that) Sasuke gently patted his son's small head with one hand as another rubbed him on the back. He was glad none was here to see the moment. Can you imagine if word got away that Sasuke Uchiha was a softy when it came to his wife and son?!

Morning:

"HN!!!" Sasuke hummed (tired to hum) to quiet Ren down. His glare fell on the half empty bottle of milk. Ren was hungry and there was no milk in the house. Maybe tomato juice would work, right? After all tomato all ways came through for Sasuke and Ren had Uchiha blood flowing through him, which would mean he would LOVE tomato juice better than milk.

Inwardly grinning Sasuke brought a bottle of tomato juice to a hungry Ren who drank thirstily. Sasuke grinned and sat the baby Uchiha down leaving to get his own breakfast. A few minutes later Sasuke came back only to freeze mid way.

Ren was coughing blood! Outwardly a calm looking young man of 20 (such a young father yea?) walked to another baby crib but inside a frantic inner Sasuke wailed. Did someone attack Ren? Was he allergic to tomatoes?!

"Aaha" The little guy gave a toothless beam almost blinding his father. Sasuke sighed in relief when he saw it was only tomato juice that Ren had upchucked.

"Hn." Sasuke shook his head in disapproval at Ren. He would have to get his son to eat proper food (ie: tomatoes).

"Urgg." Ren gurgled spitting out more red liquid. Sasuke stared at Ren…and stared…and stared some more. There was no way Ren was going to have tomato breath but the only problem was…Ren had no teeth.

Ah the damn unnecessary questions in life that came to bite an emo ex-avenger on the ass.

SSSSSSS$$$$$$$$SSSSSiiiiiiiiiSSSSSSS$$$$$$$$

Ohhh." Ren wobbled his head and stuffed a fist in his mouth. He looked at the bright colors and big things all over the place. Sasuke's eyes lit up inside at the fascination in his son's eyes.

"Looo" Ren screamed and pointed a waving fist at a figure lying on the grass. Sasuke stared blankly at Shikamaru and grabbed Ren's hand.

"Right, Ren loser. You don't ever want to be like him." Sasuke spoke. One would say there was no expression, tone, etc…but that's where they would be wrong. Sasuke used the most loving tone when it came to Ren.

Ohhh." Ren wobbled his head and stuffed a fist in his mouth. He looked at the bright colors and big things all over the place. Sasuke's eyes lit up at the fascination in his son's eyes.

"Looo" Ren screamed and pointed a waving fist at a figure lying on the grass. Sasuke stared blankly at Shikamaru and grabbed Ren's hand.

"Right, Ren loser. You don't ever want to be like him." Sasuke spoke. One would say there was no expression, tone, etc…but that's where they would be wrong. Sasuke used the most loving tone when it came to Ren.

"Ren." Sasuke spoke quietly yet calmly. If it was anyone else besides Ren people would think Sasuke was threatening to kill the little boy.

"Auhhhhhhhgg. Hahaha." Ren laughed and grabbed some more chunks of his hair. Sasuke winched and wondered when Ren had learned that dirty trick…or were babies born with such knowledge? O.O.

"No." Sasuke hiked the baby higher in his arms and Ren tugged even more.

" Uchiha." A annoyed and tired looking Neji came walking close to the Uchihas.

"Aa." With his attention split Sasuke never saw the wet fist come flying inside his mouth. Eyes wide and mouth filled wet saliva, Sasuke spit out the tiny fist.

Disgusting.

Apparently Ren found it funny and laughed loudly and it sounded never ending. Even though it warmed the two emo prodigies to the core, Sasuke would really have to give lessons to his son.

1st Rule in the newly created Uchiha manual to the Jr. Uchiha:

Never laugh loudly or show any happiness.

"Really into parenting aren't you Uchiha? You suck more than Lee would." Neji smirked. He was itching for some real battling and to take out his pent up anger. If he ever saw Lee again he would surely die.

"Hyuuga, what's got you pissed?" Sasuke smirked as he thought of possibilities. "Lee catch you and Tenten?"

Neji's eyes twitched and his fists clenched.

"Aa." Sasuke let a smile tilt the corners of his face.

Nearby women stared at the two expressionless young men fighting and one was carrying a child. A baby no less!

"My, my look at those boys. That child possibly can't be one of theirs." They watched as the black haired boy annoyingly swat the baby's hand away and neglect the child.

"They must've kidnapped the baby!" One of the ladies whispered and they all agreed. One of the men shot out fireballs from his mouth and the other one dodged it quite easily.

"They're arguing about which way to go with child. They'll kill the baby" A woman swooned in the background. Such a cute baby…all gone to waste!

"Quick go get the Hokage." As one woman left, the others rounded up bravely and walked up to the two kidnappers.

"Now see here boys let that baby go. He should be returned to his parents."

Expresionless eyes stared at the women.

"Why would I do that?" the black haired one said calmly.

"His p-parents must be missi-ing him."

"I'm not missing him if he's with me." Sasuke walked away with Ren. The women frantic to save the baby screamed.

"There's a missing nin here!" They screeched and several store owners and customers came running.

Sasuke froze and turned back…slowly.

"Hn" The sound echoed through the crowd and everyone froze in fear until an old lady jumped in to hit him with a cane. The next thing she knew it was going up in flames shooting out Sasuke's mouth.

"There's no missing nin here!" A familiar voice rang out. "Ahh! Neji my youthful friend and devoted youth spreader let us fight once more." Lee grinned.

Neji stared blackly and then puffed away. He didn't want to be responslible for killing Lee…actually he did but he wanted a revenge that would drag out Lee's torture and went to plan.

"Awww. I can see the shinning youth on Ren- san's face!" Lee tired to get a better look at Ren but Sasuke wouldn't let that happen. No way was Ren going to get scarred.

"It's the same youthful spring blossom look on Sakura-Chan's face." Lee sobbed in happiness .

"No." Sasuke started walking away. "You can't."

No way in hell.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Sasuke looked at the many types of bottles and milk. He blinked and stared like a true emo, glaring at passing shoppers when they came around his proximity.

"Which one, eh?" Sasuke asked Ren, scooting the child closer to the bottles. Sasuke nodded in sastication as his son chose a bottle with fire balls. A true Uchiha indeed.

"Um-m s-s-ir that's not for babies." The shop clerk pointed at some baby milk. "Those are."

Sasuke stared and shrugged. "Hn"

OOOOOOOOOOOO00000000000000000OOOOOOOOOOO

The two Uchihas were passing by the Ramen shop when Sasuke felt a sense of oddness. Ah crap, the dob must be around. At least that's what his dobe alert radar was saying.

Walking quickly Sasuke was stopped.

" Yo." Kakashi grinned looking up from his book. There at Ichikamurs Ramen shop was Kakashi, Naruot, and suprisly a blushing Hinata. Sasuke stared and "Hned" in greeting.

"Ahhh it's Ren!" Narut shouted and went to hug a happy Ren. Sasuke snatched Ren back quickly.

"Keep your ramen dirty hands away dobe." Sasuke glared at Naruto's hands.

"Teme there's nothing on my hands!" Naruto shouted aiming a punch at Sasuke's face. Kakashi interrupted pushing a fuming Naruto away.

"Ren come to papa!" Kakashi stretched out his two arms. "Leave that emo weirdo and come to papa."

Sasuke's eyes twitched and he itched to hit the pervert.

"Do you know what you're implying?" Sasuke spoke coldly.

"That I'm actually a father?" Kakashi stared innocently, blinking once in a while.

"Oh" A blushing Hinata whispered.

"I know! I know!..." Naruto screamed. "Kakashi is a father and he's hiding the kid!"

Sasuke finally couldn't hold the anger in and hit Naruto on the head.

"Children shall we act like adults and eat some ramen?" Kakashi took a giggling Ren who was trying to remove Kakshi's mask. Sasuke puffed up inside. His son was smart, indeed he was.

A while later Sasuke couldn't stand the pervert's giggling and whispering into Ren's ear, Naruto's disgusting table manners and the Hyuuga girl's blushing. What was wrong with these freaks?!

"Just put her out her misery." Sasuke mumbled and leaned back.

"Eh, what did you say teme?" Naruto stopped slurping and reached for a new one.

"Hn. Put her out of her misery." Sasuke grunted. He hated repeating himself.

"Ok…?" Naruto looked confused and then turned to Hinata. The girl blushed as Naruto stared intently at her. Kakashi stopped and stared while Sasuke lifted an eyebrow. What do you know, the dobe actually got smart?

"You really don't want that Ramen do you? Can I have it?!" Naruto smile happily and Sasuke muttered "dobe"

OOOOOOOOOOO000000000000000000000000OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Ah, finally some quite." Sasuke smiled slightly at Ren who waited patiently for his milk. The little guy blinked his dark eyes and smiled a toothless smile. He waved his fists and tried stuffing his foot in his mouth.

"Aa." Sasuke said then laughed, the sound sounding rusty. He opened the bottle and stared at the powder. This wasn't milk! How did powder turn into milk?!

After some thought and insturcion reading Sasuke stared at the bottle. It was cold and needed to be warmed up.

Sasuke used a fireball from his mouth. The bottle of milk went up in flames and he growled dangerously.

"Aa Ren looks like we have to go the damn store again."

The baby Uchiha laughed and patted his fathers head. Sasuke grinned and off they went.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)

2 weeks later:

A grinning Sakura looked at father and son as they slept on the black couch. She drew a blanket over them. It was only 4 in the afternoon and Sasuke was taking a nap. She stiffeled a laugh when she thought about all the events Sasuke went through. Weird things from melting baby bottles to Lee being getting a weird haircut that she was sure due to Neji.

"Aa." Sasuke mumbled in his sleep and Sakura wondered if he'd look so peaceful when she told him she would have to be gone for another week.

Ah the drama in Uchiha Sasuke's life. Sakura laughed and kissed the two awake.

AN: Hope nothing was bad and if Sasuke felt ooc that's probably because..well….ah…if he came out like that gomen, ne? Hope you all enjoyed and Review? –AppleBloss.