Title: Choice (1/?)
Author: Kerttu (kukkurkurat(at)yahoo(dot)com)
Pairing: Frodo/Legolas
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Hope can be found in the oddest of situations, as can be love.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Warnings: Gender confusion, angst
Disclaimer: I do not own them and never will.
Archive: Anywhere, only keep my name and address attached.
Author Notes: The timeline may be confusing, but current thoughts and actions are in italics, the diary between 'marks' and the events of past unmarked. Motos I have snatched from here and there, but I have tried to always give the credit to whom it belongs. Thank you, my betas, Rebecca, Amber and Glimmer/Ari! You always make my day!
"... My destiny is intertwined with your own, little one."
They smiled at each other. Frodo felt encouraged by Legolas' words. They filled him with a hope he did not believe could exist in this desolate place. Like a flame being lit in the darkness.
Lost in Moria by Ailsa Joy
The quill scratched loudly against the light beige parchment. It had been a while since Legolas had written anything down for the sake of a record. The Elf knew that making of the record was more a way to pass the time than a necessity. Elves had very long memories that did not fade and these memories finding their way onto the parchment were very recent.
Legolas had never thought that time could pass too slowly but now it did. Being alone in this cottage or the howling wind of midwinter did not help the time to haste its pace.
*Time hangs heavy on my hands.* Legolas smirked in the half light of the house. The race of Men did have their good proverbs.
Slender hands put the quill away and eyes traced the words written:
'I still cannot understand how it happened. For one moment you, Frodo Baggins, were this frail little pale thing fresh out of the sick bed who seemed to feel most uncomfortable in this great Council - and great it indeed was - and the next moment when you had placed the Ring on the pedestal and turned, I got the full view of your face. Only a glimpse of it, yet I knew I had seen the most attractive creature. And I was soon to learn that also the bravest.
With the single dropping grain of sand in the hourglass, my fate was chosen and sealed and I did not even know it.
Not yet.
I only knew that I had witnessed beauty worthy of the oldest legends.
And there was something more about him. Something stirred in the back of my mind like a memory long forgotten. It was something in Frodo's voice. Something in the cadence of it reminded me of things long lost, things I would not have rather thought about.
**
'I will stay here and look after them, keep them quiet,' she had said. With an innocent smile she added: 'Although I do not exactly know how.' **
The last words echoed in the Council, somewhat paraphrased, and I was lost. I saw the same soul in Frodo, the same I left behind after a soft kiss amidst the fire of dragons and roaring of Balrogs. She had bestowed that kiss like a blessing, an eternal promise although it was the last time I saw her. She never crossed the mountains or saw the Sea. 'Or so I had thought and I faded in my loneliness on the Lonely Island.' She obviously had somehow passed on her soul. My soul recognised hers, soared and I was lost.
And so it began.
It all came so suddenly - the feeling, the brightness it brought along, the smothering fear of it, the vividness of every colour, the unpenetrable sense of doom above us and the irresistable craving in the heart that already knew to be tainted with the utmost sorrow but feared not and craved nevertheless.
Galadriel, who almost never shows emotions, explained this in her own way. She met me once on the paths of Lothlorien when the Fellowship was staying there and asked me to walk with her. So we walked, shared the beauty of the trees and when she turned to leave, she looked at me in her calmness and said: "You have chosen a difficult path to follow, Legolas Thranduilion. But I say this: Love never asks permission. It just happens. It can both build realms and destroy them, and nothing can stop it." Suddenly, rare as it had to be, Galadriel did not appear distant. She actually smiled warmly, though a bit sadly. Then she turned and walked away.
She was right.
Nothing could stop this.
Now...
Sadness is all I can hope for. And 'him', of course. How you knew who the child would be, I will never learn. You did not tell me when we had our private talk under the fireworks of victory in Gondor, but after all, some things need not to be discussed. Like the sense of fading I saw in you. The world and its light is waning for you, even faster than for my race.
Frodo, you will leave soon. I would follow, if I could but I cannot.
So that leaves sadness as my lot.
Sadness that will temper my every joy and deed.
Sadness of losing you in order to let you live.
Legolas closed her eyes in recollection. She saw Imladris as it had been in that first time they met - when the Council had just been held.
It was a clear and bright autumn day. The air was somehow especially translucent but Legolas had thought it only because of the magic of Rivendell. He turned a corner and came upon one very confused Hobbit. When the Perian sensed being watched he spun around and Legolas recognised the Ringbearer.
"Master Elf, could you..." and it was the first time the Prince of Mirkwood saw what would later be oh so familiar blush creeping up on the Hobbit's cheeks and silencing him.
"Could I what, Frodo Baggins?" The Elf crouched down to be able to look directly at Frodo.
"Tell me, where is the library? I was supposed to meet Strid- eh, Aragorn there but I seem to have lost my way..."
"The passageways of Imladris are as cunning as they are fair. Yes, I can tell you but better if I walked with you, lest you stray once more."
"Oh, I don't want to take so much of your time, Master Elf."
"It is no waste of time to accompany the Ringbearer."
A look of fear appeared at Frodo's eyes. "Would you, please, not call me that? Please?"
"This is the title you are to wear but if you wish I will refrain using it."
"Thank you."
They were silent for a moment, then Frodo sighed: "I should give an explanation, shouldn't I?"
"If you wish. Shall we go?"
"Yes, please." Frodo walked beside him down the corridor. "I... I fear that title as much as I fear the Ring itself."
"Why?"
"Because... oh, this sounds so silly... I feel as if calling me thus, the evil has an easier way into me."
"The name becoming the thing... It is not so silly at all." Legolas looked out for the right turn and then continued: "The Valar sang this place into being, an ethereal music becoming a solid thing. No, your fear is not silly."
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For not laughing or finding this ridiculous."
Now Legolas did laugh. "I think I will never find you ridiculous, Frodo Baggins."
'And I never did, my love.' Legolas blew the candle out, stood up and went to bed. She now tired easily, but she did not regret her choice. She also understood now Arwen and knew that the daughter of Elrond would not regret her choice either.
Legolas laid down and closed her eyes. She had first found this unnatural but she had accepted it as she had accepted other things changed: her gender for one. She sighed and hoped to dream of her beloved. 'Maybe before we parted from Rivendell? He was the halest there...'
"Our royal guest from Mirkwood seems preoccupied."
"Really?" Aragorn glanced across the hall to witness what had prompted Arwen's quiet comment.
Legolas was indeed distracted - while he seemed to listen what Elrond's sons were discussing he was actually stealing looks at the cluster of Hobbits.
Each time the darkest of curly heads turned and Frodo's smile was visible, Legolas lowered his eyes.
"He even blushed, when their eyes met once," Arwen added over Man's shoulder. He chuckled.
"So you think what? That our prince has taken a liking of Frodo Baggins?"
"It seems that way, my Lord." Aragorn shot a quick glance at Arwen. She had sounded and indeed was sad. "I know how hard it is to feel for a mortal." Aragorn slipped his fingers between hers and she smiled. "If he has fallen in love, it must be hard. To know that your beloved-"
"Shh, don't say it."
"It is the truth. But I will not say it, not tonight. I wish him well." Arwen was looking at Legolas who had sipped his wine and now talked with ... Elrohir it seemed. "Yes, he is in love."
"How can you be sure?"
"Love recognises love."
Aragorn did not doubt her.
