A/N: Well, I found this story sitting around on my computer, remembered writing it about six months ago, and figured I'd give ya'll a peek at it. Hope you enjoy. Constructive criticism welcomed!
Arthur Weasley sighed wearily as he walked down the hallway to his office, rubbing a hand across his unshaven face. He'd been assigned to guard duty for the Order last night, and hadn't gotten much sleep; plus, Fudge was working everyone overtime before the arrival of spring holidays. Arthur had barely enough time to nip off to the Ministry canteen for a late lunch, but sadly, the food just didn't compare to Molly's cooking. He hated being unable to Floo home during the day. Arthur expected, though, that if he worked clear until eight or nine, this mess could eventually get sorted out. Resigned to doing paperwork as he opened the door to his office, Arthur gave a start as he glimpsed two people inside.
"Great Merlin! What are you two doing here?" Fred and George were perched beside his desk, using their school trunks as chairs. Their expressions were fixated on him, oddly serious. Arthur hadn't, in fact, seen them look so guilty about anything, not since the time they gave Ron that Acid Pop, years ago. Please, don't have done anything too horrible. I don't know how many more disciplinary letters your mum can take before she sends you another Howler.
"Dad," Fred spoke first. "We have something important to tell you." He motioned to George, who was apparently supposed to chime in, but didn't.
Merlin, was one of them mortally injured? His anxiety growing, Arthur gave each twin a quick once-over, but neither of them looked to be hurt in any way. Each boy was, strangely, clutching a broomstick, which appeared to have been…chained to something at one point. This could be worse than injury. He wasn't sure what could be worse, but at least injury had a clear and quick diagnosis. Dealing with nervousness and hesitation just made him uncomfortable. Especially when it was coming from the twins.
Meanwhile, George and Fred were locked in a glaring war. Fred mouthed something rude at his brother that Arthur couldn't quite decipher. Whatever Fred had done seemed to work; George conceded and cleared his throat.
"The thing is, Dad," George sighed, "We dropped out of Hogwarts."
Arthur clapped his hands to his forehead, expression horrified. "You did WHAT?" He let fly a volley of colourful words, ones that he hadn't let himself speak aloud in years. "What in the name of Merlin possessed you to do that?"
"Umbridge, of course," Fred answered promptly, his hesitation gone now that the news was out. "Listen, Dad--"
"--Don't you two remember what happened to Charlie?" Arthur interrupted, pacing in front of the doorway. "He wanted to drop out for that magical creature internship, and when your mum found out she very nearly had his head! Now you two've gone and quit already!"
"Yeah, but Dad--"
"Don't 'Dad' me!" Arthur retorted. "How are you going to explain this? You know how much Mum wanted you to get your N.E.W.Ts!"
"That's the thing," George interjected, much too calmly, "We were hoping you'd help us with that explanation."
Merlin's pants, was Arthur's first thought. That is possibly the worst idea I've ever heard -- and I have heard many from the two of you over the years!
"Boys," Arthur ran a hand through his hair, trying to appear calm. "You do realise that explaining why you've dropped out will be near impossible. This is Mum we're talking about." And an angry Molly could strike fear into the heart of You-Know-Who himself.
"Right, but we were hoping you might give us a leg up!" Fred coaxed. "You know, break the news to her gently!"
"If you did it, Mum might even give us a proper burial, instead of just cursing us to bits." George chimed in.
Arthur tried again. "I can't promise you a leg up, boys! This isn't like a prank or a detention; dropping out of school is serious business, especially in your mum's eyes!"
"Dad, we had good reason." Fred said bracingly. "It's not like we decided to swan off; I mean, we knew dropping out wouldn't make us Mum's favorites, honestly."
"Umbridge is awful, Dad." George agreed, "Worse than awful. You should--" he lowered his voice, as if he was suddenly aware that this was a Ministry employee's office, "—have seen what she was doing over there. You'd have left, too."
Fred explained about Umbridge's "Educational Degrees" and the way she'd been conducting her classes. He also muttered something about detentions and quills to George, which prompted a dark look.
"You know," Arthur replied after a moment, "I don't know if I'd have put up with much more, either." He performed a couple of anti-eavesdropping charms before speaking again. "I'm sure you've heard Remus's description of Umbridge. She can be quite nasty. I don't disagree with him on that point."
The twins nodded thoughtfully. "Wish he'd warned us about her earlier." George muttered.
"Yeah, honestly. We could damn well have used it." Fred agreed.
There was a long silence. Arthur remembered the first time he'd met Dolores Umbridge, about ten years ago. She'd been head of Internal Affairs then, and had gripped what little power Fudge gave her like a vice. She'd led Ministry-wide workshops about policy and etiquette, and that was where he'd first been introduced to her. Although he'd done nothing more than shaken hands with the woman, rumors floated around the Ministry about just how awful she was. Even at the workshops, hearing Umbridge deliver sugary yet sharp comments to everyone around her let Arthur believe she'd made the lives of Internal Affairs workers hell during her time there.
Listening to the twins, now (and Arthur was sure they'd left gaps in their stories), he didn't want to think too closely about what Umbridge was doing at Hogwarts, or what, exactly, she'd been "teaching" his children. If he thought on it too much….well, he had a temper at times, too. Best to remember he had a job to keep.
"Dad," Fred broke the silence, a bit of humor returning to his voice, "Aren't you curious to know how we left Hogwarts in the first place?"
Arthur gave him a suspicious look. "Will that answer my question about the chains on your brooms?"
By the time their story had ended, Arthur was nearly doubled over with laughter.
"A p-portable swamp?" he gasped out, astonished at the proportions of their new inventions. "That's brilliant!"
The twins exchanged wicked expressions of glee. "You should have seen the look on her face." Fred chuckled. "It was fantastic."
"And Peeves!" Arthur hooted, removing his glasses to wipe his watering eyes.
"Oh, that was brilliant, too," George snickered. "I'm sure you'll hear stories from Ron and Ginny over summer."
"No doubt of that. And it was a great trick. But look, boys," Arthur had to try and sum this up, somehow; it was what Molly would do if she were here. "I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here. You're good men, you can make good decisions--" at Fred's look of repulsion he added an 'occasionally' – "and you knew exactly what you were getting into by dropping out."
"Right," George added, "And it's not like we'll be sitting on our arses doing nothing. We'll have the shop, and even our own place. We've got everything we need, but--"
"We just have to start, really," Fred finished. "You'll have to come and see it sometime, Dad. It's going to be bloody brilliant."
"You know I will, Fred." Arthur agreed, clapping his son on the back. "But you'll still have to break the news to Mum before then." His apologetic grin stretched from ear to ear. "Stand up for your actions."
Fred rolled his eyes. "Right, that's definitely why we'll face Mum alone. You want us to increase our personal growth and maturity."
Arthur grinned. "I also like having the proper use of my limbs."
The twins laughed. George spoke first: "Right, well, we'll just take this lot" – he indicated the brooms and their trunks – "over to the new flat before popping by to see Mum."
"We'll see you at dinner, though!"
"If Mum lets us eat, that is…"
As the twins left his office, bantering as if nothing unusual had happened, Arthur felt a stirring of pride. My boys, the businessmen! He'd have to bring this story up at the next Order meeting, just for fun; Sirius in particular would get a great laugh out of it.
Even as he picked up the first piece of paperwork, Arthur smiled and tried to imagine everyone's reactions. They'd never believe it in a million years.
