AN: I ... have no idea what brought me to write this down. Most likely some combination of lack of sleep, lack of food, and undiluted essence of I-am-gonna-fail-college.

WARNING: Stream of consciousness and complete ignorance of punctuation.


I'm lost
The blind leading the blind
Or maybe the blind just getting lost on her own

*****

What am I doing
Where am I going
Why am I not following Him
He's beckoning
He's standing there waiting
He's smiling at me
Why can't I move
Why can't I leave
I can't follow Him
I won't follow Him

Why?

Why does He keep standing there
Why won't He just give up
He's still there
He's still smiling
Still beckoning
Leave me alone already
Go away
I'm not going with you
I can't go with you
I can't move
Just go away
Why won't you leave
Just leave
Leave me alone!

No

I didn't mean that
Please don't go
Stay here
Stay with me
I need You

Please

Stop telling me to go with You
I can't go
I can't move
Stop beckoning me
Can't you see I'm trapped?
I can't move
I can't go
I'm sorry
But I won't go with you

I can't go

I should be able to go with Him
He wants me to go with Him
He's smiling at me
He's calling me to Him
And I want to be with Him
But I can't go

Can't

Or won't

What is the matter with me?

*****

I'm lost
Because I am blind
Because I refuse to be led
Because I reject the guidance of the Sighted
Because I refused the Sight and plucked out my own eyes for the Devil

Blind

Dying

Fool