For Paul.


The breath gurgles in Will's throat and blood spills out of his mouth. The panic consumes me, making my body go numb. I shudder through a breath of my own, gasping on the thick air.

He doesn't talk. He doesn't need to. The fear in my brothers eyes is enough. I want to believe he will make it to tomorrow. But the blood flowing from his abdomen doesn't stop, and it soaks through my fingers, covering my arms and pooling on the floor. I know.

We both do.

"Jay-" My name slips from his mouth in a barely audible whisper, along with more blood that belongs inside his body. My name and blood. Always together.

Always together.

"Shut up." I say when he tries my name again.

"Just shut up. You're not going anywhere. Not yet. It's not-" My voice breaks as my throat becomes painfully tight.

I choke on the words.

"It's not fair!"

He just stares. And then he whispers an apology.

A god damn apology.

My heart shatters and guilt fills the void. There is so much I want to tell him, but my brain seems to have disconnected from my vocal cords and the words stick inside me and settle like a bowling ball in my stomach. His eyes flutter and the words suddenly flow from my lips, the need to let him know, to make him see.

"I'm sorry Will. I'm so sorry, I thought-" Tears stream down my face as I stop. I thought? I thought what? That this wouldn't happen?

"-I thought I had more time." The blood pulses slower beneath my fingers. I'm just about hyperventilating now, my breaths coming in gasps.

"I should have protected you, I should have done something, I'm your older brother…I should have protected you." My ramblings end in a whisper and I shift closer to him, trying to protect him from death with my sheer presence.

His eyes start to get this faraway look and I know this is it.

I'm sobbing now, as I say my final words to him.

"No matter where we go. No matter where we are. We will always be brothers."

The light fades from his world and mine. And as the blood stops pumping from his chest, just seeps out onto the cold tile, i realize a truth.

I never wanted this.

I never wanted him here, in Chicago. In my life, with me and dad and I knew it would hurt him.

Hurt us.

I knew I would destroy him, as I do with everything else on my life.

And I did. Now hes gone. Which leaves me alone.

A good friend of mine told me after my mothers death that "We can shape our destiny, but never can we change our fate."

I believe her.

I have shaped my life this way. I have been apart of my brothers fate. I can now see mine.

Pain and death follows me. No matter how fast or far I go it will always be there. Next to me, with me, bound to me. It will only leave once I have gone. I was supposed to go first Will. I was. Not you.

A scream rips through the my body, echoing in the empty apartment.

I'm so sorry Will.

"We will always be brothers."


This is all because I just went and saw Furious 7 and they did and amazing tribute to Paul Walker. If you haven't seen it, I strongly encourage you to do so. I cried. It was beautiful.