Wrote this story a while ago, but finally got around to posting it over to here. It's one of my favorites that I've written; even though I was initially really skeptical about my ability to write a child's POV. Disclaimers: If I owned the show or the characters, this would be how the next Murdoc episode played out.
They've lived in three different houses since Father came and took him away from the place with all the strangers, but Cassian likes this house best. The house is big, and old, and it's not near any others. It's quiet and he can sit outside and draw and no one is yelling or driving past or playing in the road. There's no one else around for miles, he thinks.
It's nice outside, and interesting inside. The house is full of strange doors and hallways and odd sounds that come up through the floor when Cassian sleeps.
"There are no such things as ghosts," Father says, but Father also says he doesn't hear the crying, moaning ghost sounds. Cassian hears them almost every night.
It's been two weeks now, he thinks, since he heard them the first time. It wasn't their first night in the house, but it was the day after Father came home after his last trip. A long trip where he had to ask someone to come stay with Cassian. Cassian liked Molly but Father said she wouldn't be taking care of him again, even though she made the best grilled cheese sandwiches and played her ukelele at night.
Maybe her singing made the ghost curious, because the night after Father came home Cassian heard it the first time. It sounded hurt and scared, screaming like Cassian did when he shut his thumb in a car door. He doesn't think ghosts can be hurt, they don't have bodies; but maybe they can get scared.
He feels sorry for the scared ghost, because every night it screams, and sometimes it's talking but it must speak a strange ghost language because it's all muffled and he can't understand it. Some nights he thinks it's crying. He hears the soft sobbing come through the floorboards and he wonders if you can hug a ghost because this one sounds like it needs a hug.
If he can find the ghost, maybe he can make friends with it. Cassian thinks ghosts aren't so scary. They're just lonely and sad because people run away from them. I'm lonely too, Mr. Ghost. Cassian doesn't have any friends, he doesn't go to a real school, and Father says not to talk to strangers because strangers are dangerous.
"You and I are all we need," he says when Cassian says he wants friends his age like children in books have. "Other people wouldn't understand us. We're different." Cassian doesn't want to be different. He wants to be normal. "Family is the most important thing," Father says. "No one should ever be more important to you than your family." And Father is all the family Cassian has.
One morning Father leaves, he says there's a job he has to do and he'll be home tonight. Cassian misses him, but it gives him time to explore. Father doesn't like it when he goes looking around the house too much. There are lots of locked rooms that he says he has his tools in.
The basement door is locked, but Cassian knows where Father keeps the keys. He puts them away every morning before breakfast. He thinks Cassian doesn't see, but he's always seen more than people know. He's learned that you hear more interesting things that way. Grownups don't talk as much when they know he knows what they're doing or saying.
People say they protect him for his own good, but Cassian doesn't want to be protected. He wants to learn, he wants to make friends.
He takes the keys out of the drawer and opens the basement door. He's not allowed down there, Father says something about rotting steps, but that's where the ghost sounds are coming from. He takes a flashlight from the kitchen cabinet before he goes. I'm eight, not stupid. He thinks people in books who go in dark places without lights are silly. No wonder bad things happen.
The stairs are creaky, but they don't feel like they'll fall apart. He can't hear the ghost anymore. Do ghosts sleep during the day, like people sleep at night? He doesn't want to wake it up because he doesn't like it when people make noise at night and startle him, but maybe it will be so happy to have a friend it won't care.
There are three more locked doors in the basement, and Cassian has to find the right key for each of them. It takes a while and he's getting hungry. Maybe he should go back upstairs and eat the sandwich Father left for him in the fridge. But if he does the ghost might find somewhere else to hide.
He opens the last door and it swings on creaky hinges. There's something pale inside, crouched against the wall, and Cassian drops the flashlight and makes a very not-brave gasp. I'm not afraid of ghosts! But now that there might be one right in front of him he has to admit it's a little scary. What if I can't make it understand I want to be friends?
He picks up the flashlight and points it shakily at the ghost, and then he feels very foolish.
It's not a ghost. It's a person. Cassian is slightly disappointed. People aren't as interesting as ghosts. The person is huddled up, arms around their legs and head resting on their knees. The reason they look so pale is that now that Cassian can tell it's not a ghost he can see that the person probably doesn't have any clothes, and their skin is pale. Cassian's cheeks are turning red, people shouldn't just wander around a house without clothes on, but maybe there's something wrong. Maybe they don't have any, he thinks, because some people in books had to wear rags, and maybe this person just can't find any rags because the house is too clean.
They look sad. Their shoulders are shaking like they're crying or shivering. They're whispering something, and it sounds like "no, not again."
Then the person moves, just a little, and Cassian remembers he should probably see why there's a person in the basement of the house. That's not normal, not even in books. Usually people who appear unexpectedly are either fairy godmothers or wounded, landless knights or people trying to hide from someone chasing them.
Cassian doesn't feel very brave right now but in books the boys and girls are never afraid. They always talk to the strange people and then they usually have adventures. Maybe this is the kind of person trying to hide, because they can't be a fairy godmother and knights are supposed to have armor and horses, and Cassian can help them. He's never had a person to help hide before. He asks quietly, "Who are you?"
The stranger jumps, like Cassian's voice scared them. Maybe they thought I was the ghost and they're afraid of ghosts.
"Hi, I'm Cassian. I'm not a ghost." He holds out his hand but the strange person doesn't shake it. That's not very polite. "What's your name?"
The stranger...and suddenly Cassian remembers what he was told about strangers and thinks about running...just lifts their head and looks at him. Cassian moves his flashlight and the person blinks and jumps away, like the light hurts his eyes. When he moves the light away, he can see that the stranger, a young man, younger than Father, has big blue eyes. But his face is all dirty and there are red smears all over it.
"Did you fall down?" His face is all bloody like Cassian's was when he fell off his bike.
The man just shakes his head slowly, blinking and looking at Cassian like he's having a hard time seeing him. Maybe he can't talk. Maybe that's why he's all alone and sad and no one takes care of him.
He looks like the people Cassian sees on street corners when he has to go somewhere in the car with Father. He's all dirty and his hair is messy and it looks yellow but it's hard to tell. Usually the papers those people hold up are asking for help.
This person must need help very, very much because he looks sick and hurt and he doesn't have clothes. It's not just his face that's bloody. There are cuts all over him and some are bleeding and some are scabby and some are nasty and oozing.
His legs look wrong, like they're twisted or broken. Cassian's never broken a bone before but when people break them in books it hurts. Maybe that's why he looks so sad. Maybe it hurts. People are supposed to get casts when they break bones, and he doesn't have any.
Cassian can't make a cast but he knows when Father puts band-aids on things they don't hurt as much and it makes them heal. "Do you need a band-aid? There's a box of them upstairs, I could get some."
"No, I'm all right." The strange person's voice is all shaky, like he's cold. And he doesn't have any clothes, so maybe he is. Why would you want to hide down here in the dark and cold and damp? Cassian thinks his own room is cold, but he can see his own breath here.
"You don't look all right. You're all bloody and your legs are hurt. And you look cold. Do you want a blanket? Or a sweater? Or a coat?" Cassian could go get him food too. That's what people do in books.
The person shakes his head, and his words sound funny, like Cassian's did when he had to have an extra tooth taken out. He could hear himself talking and it was all slow and mumbly and wobbly like that. "No, I don't need anything. You can go."
But Cassian doesn't want to go away. This is the first person he's been able to talk to besides Father and Molly, and Molly was here a long time ago.
"I could get you some food. Are you hungry?"
"No, I'm not." But his face looks like he wants it. It's the same face Cassian makes when Father asks him if he's happy here with his books and the house and Father. He pretends he is because Father doesn't want to hear that Cassian wants to go to school and have real friends and talk to people.
"Can I talk to you?"
The person turns his head away and shivers. "Please, if you want to help me, go away."
"I know I shouldn't be down here but Father is gone and he won't be mad. I just want a friend."
The man looks up. "Are you sure he's not here?" He moves like he might try to stand up, like he forgot his legs are hurt. And then he yelps and stops moving; it must hurt. Cassian wants to help him but he doesn't know how.
"Do you need to get up?" The person shakes his head and there are tears running down his face. Cassian sets down the flashlight and tries to give the person a hug, but he doesn't want it. He jumps away and starts crying more when he moves his legs.
Cassian thinks of something while he's watching the person try to stop crying. "I need to call you something. You can't just be the strange person in the basement."
The man sniffles. "If you promise not to tell anyone else, ever, you can call me Mac, okay?"
"Hi Mac." It's a nice name. Cassian thinks it sounds like a name someone would have in a book.
"You need to go. Please."
Mac looks like he might cry, and Cassian doesn't know why. He says he isn't cold or hungry, and nothing hurts. Is he lonely? Like the ghost? But if he's lonely he wouldn't ask Cassian to go away.
"What do you want?"
Mac whimpers, like a hurt puppy. "I want to get out of here. I want to go home." He shakes his head again, and Cassian sees something wrong with his arm, where there's blood coming from a small round poke like a bee sting.
"I could help you get upstairs," Cassian says softly. He's not sure how because Mac is a lot bigger than him and his legs don't work and Cassian can't carry him, but they can figure something out, right? That's how it goes in books.
"Please, please just go." And then Cassian hears a door slam. He's going to be in so much trouble when Father finds out he broke the rules, but it's too late to go back now. And he found a person, Mac. Maybe Father will say it's okay if he knows Cassian was trying to help Mac.
Father will help Mac, Cassian knows he will. He put ice on my cheek when I ran into a door, and he always kisses my cuts.
He hears footsteps on the stairs. "Father, I'm sorry I came in the basement but there's a person down here and he needs help. His name is Mac and he's hurt and cold and he wants to go home." Cassian looks back at Mac happily, because Father's a lot smarter than Cassian and he'll know what to do to fix Mac. But Mac looks scared and sad.
"I told you not to tell anyone about me," he whispers.
"It's just Father. He's not 'anyone'. I tell him everything," Cassian says proudly. Father says there shouldn't be secrets in the house. So he has to know about Mac.
Father comes down the steps. "I see. Cassian, you shouldn't be down here and you know it."
Mac flinches, like he's afraid of Father. He shouldn't be scared. Father is nice. He reads me stories and kisses me goodnight and tells me he loves me. I know he might seem scary but he just wants to keep me safe.
"You'll help him, won't you?" Cassian pleads, because he likes Mac, even if Mac is quiet and doesn't want to be his friend yet. When they help him he'll know Cassian's a nice person and then he'll want to be friends. That's how it works in books.
"Cassian, go upstairs and put on your headphones."
There's something wrong and cold in Father's voice. Cassian knows better than to argue when he talks like that. Maybe he's really mad that Cassian broke the rules and talked to a stranger. But Mac needed help, and if Father can help him, Cassian won't mind being scolded.
"We'll talk about this later," Father says. "And I'll remind you how important the rules are to keep us safe. But I'm going to take care of Mac first." Cassian smiles as he leaves, and he doesn't know why Mac starts crying again and looks so scared. Father's going to make sure he's okay.
The ghost cries louder that night and Cassian decides he'll look even harder for it tomorrow. It's just lonely. It needs a friend.
