A long time ago (possibly as long as four years ago!) I was moved by some manips by AllegoricalRose: her The Doctor's Top Secret Diary and Rose's Diary series of manips, over on Tumblr. Please check this series out! It is a work of brilliance!

Over the course of these many years, I wrote this story in bits and pieces, scrapping parts, putting it aside, dragging it out again, over and over. I have several versions of different parts of it kicking around my Fan Fiction files.

And just over this weekend, I finally finished it, about 5000 words and 3 chapters longer than I had originally anticipated, and much, much, much later than I ever could have imagined! To be honest, I'm still in shock that it's finished at all!

My everlasting appreciation and love to my wonderful betas, rose_nebula and mrsbertucci, whose encouragement and suggestions have helped me to finally complete this work, and actually feel pretty good about it. It wouldn't have been the same without you. You are brilliant, lovely, wonderful ladies, through and through, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate your help. I love you both! You make me so much better.

That being said, of course I made some minor edits since they've seen it. All mistakes belong to me!

Thanks for reading. Chapter 2 will be up on Wednesday, and Chapter 3 and a short (optional) epilogue will be posted on Friday.


Chapter 1: Twaddle

"W'at do they say, Doctor?"

"Hmmmm?" he looked up from where he was tinkering with the TARDIS console, peering at her absent-mindedly over his brainy (…sexy) specs.

"All those sticky notes… w'at do they say?"

"Oh, that? That's all just twaddle, Rose," he replied, returning his eyes to his work.

Rose wasn't deterred by his evasion. She sidled around the console toward him, biting her lower lip and dragging her finger in a seductive swirl behind her along the cool metal surface. "Twaddle? What do you mean, twaddle?" She was close enough to him now that she knew he would be able to feel the heat from her body even through all the layers of fabric of that he wore under that bloody, tight, pin-striped suit of his. As he straightened up, her tongue reflexively circumscribed her lips and his gaze darted to her mouth before settling on her eyes. "Is that even a word?"

"Twaddle, Rose. Nonsense, drivel, balderdash, poppycock, bunk, rubbish…" He picked up his sonic screwdriver and bent over to return to his repairs.

"Seems like a lot of twaddle, Doctor." She gestured to the array of sticky notes that adorned the edges of the view screen and various other surfaces, including the central column. "C'mon… give. W'at do they say, really?" She reached over and stroked one of the little yellow papers with a sensuous touch of her finger. She let her tongue appear again, and she returned his wide-eyed regard from under the fringe of her lashes.

"Rose!" he blurted. "Just – don't – touch–" His armor was cracking. Squeezing her lips together, she tried to conceal a triumphant smirk. "They're shopping lists… All right?" He flicked his hand dismissively, glowering at her from under his furrowed brows. "Happy? Good! Now, can I get on with this repair? Then we can be on our way."

She pressed closer to him. "On our way… shoppin'?" She breathed into his ear.

"Weeell… I suppose… if you like…" He tore his eyes from hers and flicked on the screwdriver, applying it to a bundle of wires and gizmos whose function Rose didn't have a clue about. "Did you need to buy something in particular?"

"No, ya plum, for you. Seein' as you 'ave all these shoppin' lists…" She bumped him companionably, and if her breast grazed his arm in the process, well… that was just a happy coincidence.

"Ooooh, weeell… there's nothing pressing, really…" His eyes snapped to hers again, and she was sure his cheeks were flushed, though it was hard to tell in the greenish glow from the central column. "Look, Rose…"

"Mmmm-hmmmmm…" she glanced up at him, a lascivious smirk tugging at her lips.

He sighed, returning his attention to his work. Without raising his eyes again, he wiggled his fingers in the direction of the jump seat. "Look, just go sit… over there, and let me get this done."

Her smile evaporated, replaced with a little pout, her boldness slipping away. "Can I 'elp? Ya know… with the repairs?"

"Nah, no need. I got it. You sit. I'll be done in a mo'."

She collapsed onto the seat with a resigned huff, feeling a bit rejected and lonely. Sulking, she picked at the chips on her nail polish for several minutes before giving an impatient snort. "Gonna be much longer?" She couldn't help whinging.

He glanced over at her, sympathy softening his eyes. "Sorry… it's taking longer than I expected. I don't have a part I need… I've had to improvise."

"Oh… Maybe I'll jus'…" Standing, she pointed her hand in the direction of the corridor that led to the media room.

"Wouldn't mind the company…"

"Yeah?" She flashed him a brief grin, and felt her good mood rebound a fraction.

He offered her a weak, apologetic smile. "Yeah."

She sat back down. "Sooooo, that part that you need, yeah? Is it on one of those shoppin' lists?"

"Wha'?"

"The sticky notes… the part you need…"

"Oh… no. That would have been a brilliant idea though. Still… where's the adventure in that? A complete waste of my genius mind."

Rose narrowed her eyes, pursing her lips as she considered his words. She pushed herself off the jump seat and stood, leaning forward over the console, putting her weight on her forearms, and allowing her fingers to creep into his workspace. Distracted from his repairs, he turned his head to look at her, but his gaze was immediately drawn to where her vest-top hung loose from her chest. His eyes meandered up to her face, pausing at her mouth when she allowed her tongue to poke out from between her teeth again. He swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing. He was definitely blushing now.

"They're not actually shoppin' lists, are they?" It was more a statement of fact than a question, and she was gratified when his eyes locked on hers, full of surprise, and a hint of guilt.

"They're more like to-do lists," he explained with a nervous sniff. "Very similar to shopping lists, really: weeell… a bit different… weeell… both things that need to get done, I suppose."

"They certainly seem to be accumulatin'. There's so many more than there used to be." Rose had noticed that their numbers had proliferated since they had returned from Krop Tor.

"Weeell… nearly losing… everything..." he swept the brainy specs from his face, deftly tucking them into one of his transdimensional pockets, "made me realize that I need to take better care of things around here."

"Like what? Repairs? Or maybe makin' a remote TARDIS-recall program for the sonic?"

"Oh… yeah… something like that..."

"'S 'at so?"

He nodded. "Yup. Anyway, nothing you need to worry about… They're all very daunting, these things... I really ought to do…" He ran a hand over his face, his exasperation evident. "Even I, genius that I am, barely know where to begin with this lot. That's why they tend to accumulate. And you with your lovely little human brain–"

"Yeah, thanks for that." She arched a judgemental eyebrow.

"Oh! No! No, no, no, no! I mean you're brilliant! But, when you compare… Hold on!" He abruptly switched topics, saving Rose from what was sure to have been a long diatribe on the superiority of Time Lord intelligence. "A remote TARDIS-recall program! Rose, you are brilliant! If I isolated the frequency of the–"

"See? Reckon I could 'elp, after all… At least gimme a shot! You're always sayin' that I see things you miss. Ya never know… I bet if I 'elped, you'd get through all those to-dos in no time. Better with two, remember?"

"No! No need. Weeell… I imagine I'll need your help eventually…" He tugged on his ear. "But first… I need to… weeell, I'll get around to them sometime."

"Ya don't want me to know w'at they say, do ya?" she teased with another tongue-touched grin. "Bet I could get the TARDIS to translate them for me…"

He flushed a brilliant red. "She doesn't translate Gallifreyan, Rose. You know that."

"Bet she would for me, with a little… persuasion."

"Rose…" The warning tone in his voice told her in no uncertain terms that he had had enough of her ribbing.

"Fine," she relented with a huff. She pivoted away from him and stalked off toward the media room. "I'll be off then. You let me know when you need me." She placed snarky air-quotes around the word need.

-oOo-

Rose was flustered and annoyed… and, frankly, aroused. She sat on the sofa, staring at the blank view screen in the media room, unable to find a movie or program she wanted to watch or even a game to play. What she really needed was… well… a good wank. Or a cold shower. Bloody, sexy Time Lord! He seemed oblivious to the fact that their touchy-feely, desperately-hugging, heated-gazing relationship was driving her to insane levels of distraction. Or maybe he did know and just didn't reciprocate. Or maybe he couldn't reciprocate, she thought with a rueful shake of her head. She knew he loved her in his own way: was possessive (always had been), but sometimes, he shut himself off to her. And that was the most frustrating thing: his lack of communication.

Definitely what she needed was a good wank. A good, angry wank!

She allowed her fingers to stray under her waistband, past her knickers. She hissed as they brushed through her damp curls and over her sensitive folds.

God, she was randy as hell!

This was what he did to her!

She really should go back to her room and take care of herself there. But that would mean crossing back through the console room… past him. Guh… he probably had his suit jacket off by now, shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, tie gone, and shirt unbuttoned at the neck… God, his neck… and the sexy specs… and his tousled, touchable hair...

No, she was better off staying right where she was: the way she was feeling today, she would probably never make it all the way without jumping his bones.

Giving in to her body's demands, her fingers began a steady dance to the pounding of her heart: circling, plunging, and circling again. Her pleasure was winding tighter and tighter, building steadily, driving the frustration away. She closed her eyes, head lolling over the arm of the sofa, as she imagined him thrusting his long fingers into her, his wonderful tongue lapping over her sensitized flesh, his quiet hum of… surprise?

Her hand stilled, her head snapped up, and her eyes flew open.

There he was: standing in the doorway, hands jammed in his pockets, darkened eyes boring into her.

She stifled her squeak of alarm. "You're done with the repairs, then?" she asked, striving to maintain an expression of casual innocence. She willfully ignored the fact that her burning cheeks and shaky smile betrayed her. Not to mention the incriminating placement of her right hand.

"No… no. I just wanted to see that you were all right." He rubbed at the back of his neck with a hesitant hand. "You seemed… earlier, but I see that you're doing fine…" he turned to leave, "…without me. Better get back to it, then… uh, the repairs..." He swept out of the room.

Rose groaned, flushing with the molten knot of shame that settled in her gut, wishing the sofa below her could somehow swallow her up. To be honest, even that hell-spawned black hole that Krop Tor had orbited was looking very tempting right now. Because the only other option was to face him. But how could she ever look him in the eye again? And how could they ever…? She had made a right mess of things. He was her best mate. He gave her everything. Hell, he gave her the universe, all of space and time. She loved him! And she had repaid him by alienating him, making him feel awkward, all because she couldn't suppress her bloody human libido for a few minutes until she was in the privacy of her own room.

-oOo-

"I brought you a cuppa…" she offered, her heart stuttering. The only response was a brief pause in the sounds of the repairs taking place below the floor of the console room. When they resumed she added, "An' some Custard Creams…"

The sounds stopped again.

"I thought maybe we could talk… er… Doctor?"

Silence.

Setting the tea and biscuits on the floor, she seated herself, with her legs dangling into the space where the floor panel was missing. "I'm sorry. I really am," she sighed.

Silence.

"God, I don't even know what to say. That has to be the most embarrassin' thing that has ever happened to me. An' that includes the time Jack stole my towels and all my clothes whilst I was in the shower and hid 'em 'ere, under the console."

A muffled noise that sounded very much like a chuckle reached her ears. "And I walked in to quite a view! Loveliest bum I have ever seen!"

"W'at? Better than Jack's?"

"Ewwww, now that, Rose Tyler, that is a sight I have had the misfortune to have seen far too often! So, yeah, no contest! You know, I still sometimes find your knickers down here or an odd sock."

She laughed, a strained, nervous burst of mirth that did nothing to ease her tension.

His head appeared next to her legs, and he hauled himself out of the workspace to sit down beside her. "Rose…"

She knew he was staring at her but couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze. She felt so very vulnerable. "I… I shouldn't 'ave… I mean, it was really selfish of me to… I've been treatin' you... It's not fair…"

"Stop, Rose." His arm snaked around her waist, tugging her against him.

She laid her head against his shoulder, thankful for his quiet acceptance. "But I shouldn't 'ave put you in that situation, Doctor, in your own home."

He pulled back and, cupping her chin, coaxed her face up so she would look at him. Sinking into his fathomless brown gaze, she trembled with longing, her heartbeat rushing in her ears. "It's your home too, you know." His face was so close now their noses were nearly touching, and before she could draw another ragged breath, he angled his head and bent in to press his soft, moist lips to hers.

Rose froze in bewilderment.

He pulled away when she didn't respond to his kiss. "Is this all right? I just assumed… And my assumptions are generally correct. (I am very clever!) Based on cataloguing the various pheromones you release and your overall behaviour–"

Rose nodded her head vigorously. "All right…? Yeah, course it's all right! Jus' unexpected, 's all."

"Well, that's brilliant then! You know, Rose, you don't have to hide your… weeell…" he ruffled his hair into tempting disorder "…your, er, needs from me. I mean to say… I could help with that, you know."

She goggled at him.

"I am completely versed in human female anatomy, including an in-depth knowledge of the human female erogenous zones." He preened, sniffing and straightening his tie. "I'm sure I could bring you to climax several times. No need for your frustration, Rose. I am very good. Can't have one of my companions being unhappy for any reason. You just say the word, and I'll have you feeling better in a jiffy! Oooooh, a jiffy! I quite like that: a jiffy!"

Rose frowned, stunned. "So… what? You think that that's what I need, then? A quick fix? You make it sound like I'm your latest project!" She reined in the increasing volume of her voice, instead lacing it with quiet, acid tones. "I'm not the TARDIS you can tinker with and think that makes it all better."

"No, I didn't mean–"

"You jus' kissed me, Doctor! And for a second I thought that maybe you… Oh, forget it!" She leaped to her feet. "Obviously I got it wrong! Again! I can see now, that I really am nothin' special to you. Jus' another in a long line of, what did you call us? 'Companions', yeah? That you've also had to keep from bein' unhappy." Ducking her head so he wouldn't see the tears, hot and stinging, brimming in her eyes, she launched herself in the direction of her room.

She left the Time Lord dumbfounded, his mouth uselessly opening and closing in his effort to find words.