A/N: Since a lot of people seemed to like Who Ate My Taco, I decided to write a second part. Enjoy.

Return of the Taco

Jasper trudged through the jungle, thinking of his poor taco.

Stupid Bella. That bitch. She ate his taco! Uncalled for.

He had avenged his taco, but he still felt an empty spot inside. It was in his tummy. A spot that one Choco Taco could fill.

Then he smelled it.

A Choco fucking Taco.

Score!

And it seemed to not be in someone's tummy!

Perfect!

Jasper walked and skipped and jumped and tap-danced towards the wonderful smelling taco.

There was a clearing in the woods. In the exact middle of the clearance, there was a five-foot-tall pedestal with none other than the Choco fucking Taco on top.

Yes! Jasper thought. Almost there!

"Ohmigod!" a voice said from another part of the clearing. "A Choco fucking Taco!"

Aw fuck. There was someone else after this taco, too.

Face-palm.

"Who be there?" The voice said.

"I be Jasper!" said Jasper. "And that be my Choco fucking taco!"

"Oh no you di-idn't! I be Victoria, the totally awesome tribute from district 1! And that's MY TACO!"

Oh no she di-idnt. That was Jasper's taco.

In a split second, a ginger girl with wild hair was in his face. "Leave now or I'll kick you all the way to Utah!" she snarled.

"No!" yelled Jasper. "I don't want to be a sister-wife!"

"Then GET OUT! RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGEEEEE!"

Geez. Bitch needs an anger management class.

Then Jasper realized something. He couldn't hit a girl! How rude.

Time for a sex change.

"Here," said Jasper, taking out the sex change pills he had conveniently brought with him. "Take these. They'll help with your major PMS." He handed her the pills.

The ginger named Victoria looked confused. "What?"

Jasper sighed. "Well… you major emotions be totally messing with my chakras. So take these and we'll continue in a week?"

ONE WEEK LATER

Victoria's face was a mask of pure rage. "You made me grow a dick!" she (or was it he?) screamed.

Jasper nodded. "So now I can hit you," he explained, slapping the heshe across the face.

Victoria cried out in rage. Too bad Jasper didn't have PMS pills. "Suck my balls!"

They kicked and punched and sneezed and farted and burped their ABC's until only one winner emerged.

James, the guy from District 1.

Shiznuggets.

"Ha ha ha!" James exclaimed. "I be the winner!" He took the taco down from the pedestal, making a battered and bruised Jasper cringe.

Not again!

"Nooooo!" screamed Victoria. He/She really needed those PMS pills now, Jasper thought. "Its….my….taco….!"

And he/she melted, right then and there.

Geez.

"Now, I will make you watch me eat this taco!" said James. "Cringe as I taste the chocolatey—" but he never finished his sentence.

Right then, a large flying pig came crashing through the trees. It quickly took the taco in its tiny little hooves and flew away.

"NO!" James and Jasper yelled in unison.

So much for that empty belly.

A/N: Well, just something that I spent a few minutes on… hope you liked it.