Title : I need you
Author : DiBee
Summary : My answer to Challenge n6 for the Penguins' site, based on a quote from Angels and Airwaves, Hallucinations. Definitely S/J, sort of Drama, but mainly, Romance. Set post season 10, with Carter on leave from the Hammond. Rating to be safe.
Disclaimer : Don't own nor gain anything...
Rating : T, to be safe
Spoiler : Post season 10 (somehow during Universe, but with no hint), Sam is on leave on Earth.
N/A : English still isn't my first language, Sam/Jack still is one of my favorite ship, I'm still thankful for all of those brave enough to read my stories through. This one is very... dark. Possibly Ooc. Was pretty depressed when writing it, I must admit.
Do you believe in hallucinations?
Silly dreams or Imagination?
Don't go away 'cause I feel you this time
Don't go away 'cause I need you here this time
Angels and Airwaves, Hallucinations
They had teleported her out of the ship directly on the doorstep of her new flat. Military containment. She would share the block with a good half of the officers she had spent the last months on the Hammond with. She had been teleported along with a handful other people, who quickly nodded at her, and checked their keys for the good door. She managed to unlock the door, and came to her knees as soon as it was closed behind her, silent sobs violently shaking her, taking over the professional smile she had plastered on her face for too long. She was tired. Tired of all this, tired of her life, and tired of what her life had become.
At times, she would look at herself in the mirror, and avert her eyes from her reflection. Had she not been sure Replicarter was dead for good, she would have doubted to still be alive behind the greying eyes who looked back at her. Even looking back at all she had achieved, she never considered her dreams fulfilled, not when the last one, the most important one, was still unreachable every damn seconds of her life, and would remain but a figment of her imagination. He was just a man, but she was just a woman, a heart beating away at every damn second.
She wiped the tears from her cheeks with both hands, leaving room for more to fall, not caring about the mascara that came along the way, knowing way too well no one was waiting for her. No one ever would.
She felt the urge to put her hands on her ears when the flow of blood, reminding her of how alive she supposedly was, rang in her ears. She was broken. Whatever face she put on for good measure in front of the others, deep inside, her career, her stubbornness had broken through the thin fabric of the image she had built herself. She sank more completely to the floor, her bag left aside, ready to cry herself to sleep right there, in a foetal position that didn't help her the least to evacuate the tension she felt running through her body.
Then she heard a faint sound at the door, only a meter from her. She glared at it in the dark, but couldn't ignore it when the knock became more insistent. She knew whoever it was had either mistaken her room for someone else's, or needed something. She hadn't told anyone which room she was in, and really didn't wish to talk to anyone, let alone a member of her crew, in any near future.
When the knock began sounding really insistent, she got up, keeping one hand on the wall for balance, and wiped the most of her tears off her face, choosing not to flick the lights on.
Her breath caught in her throat when she recognized the man on the threshold, only lit by the nearest glow of the emergency exit. Still, she could read tiredness on his face too. That, and more than she was willing to contemplate at that very moment.
Very aware whatever he had came there for was personal, she let him in, still taking in the sight of him.
"Sam" he finally said. She simply nodded, that was her name, no matter how little he had used her first name in the past. Usually, she was just a rank, or a last name. The use of the first name made it personal. More than she thought it could. But maybe was she too tired to think straight.
"Jack, why are you here?" She chose to carry on with personal, and to skip formalities. She wasn't in the mood. She wasn't in the mood for any talk at all, but being formal seemed like the more horrible thing to do at the moment.
"Make peace" he said, his tone unreadable, but his eyes, once she had turned the light on, more than readable.
Then, why did she hear love instead? It sounded good, though.
"Sir?" she asked, not quite sure what he meant, especially if she had gotten his undertone right.
Well, she knew what it would mean, but it felt off, in this situation. Not that she wouldn't need the comfort, but it really wasn't what he was there for, she could tell from his eyes alone. His next move spoke for him as he brought one hand to her cheeks, wiping off small trails of make up, feeling her lean in her touch, letting the slightest of moan escape her lips.
"Ma'am?" he teased, gently, as unwilling as she was to be formal. Then, he looked in her, lost, eyes, and she caught his, simply by reflex.
"No last name pun intended." He was deadly serious but his eyes were laughing. She loved when his eyes laughed, it made the butterflies in her stir up. She wondered what the Colonel Makepeace would actually think of their actual position, her still leaning in his near embrace. She smiled. He smiled back. She smiled more. Here they were again.
Maybe he really meant love, she realized when their lips collapsed against one another's. His hand had dropped at her waist, the other one snuggling in her back, teasing at the bottom of her t-shirt. One of hers was already roaming in his hair, the other one on the wall, seeking for a balance she had lost at the very moment she had felt his breath so close. The wall, the only reminder that was a reality, and not one of those dreams, leaving her to wake up in a cold room, frustrated, angry at herself, and more lonely than ever.
But the feeling of his lips was too real, his taste too strong, the softness of his tongue too present and demanding to be just a figment of her imagination. It was real, fast, but damn too good for her to make any attempt at stopping him.
When he pulled away, his need for air shortly taking over his need to make sure she was really there, he caught a glimmer of fear in her eyes. Fear, he understood, for it to end as fast as it had begun. But he wouldn't let it happen. Not this time. He simply couldn't. Both hands in her back, he pulled her against him, cradling in her neck, breathing in her scent, lightly kissing any skin he could reach under the stray of hair escaping her ponytail. He heard her moan under each of his touch, and felt her relax, slowly, her arms loosely looped around his neck. When he pulled back the next time, she had closed her eyes, and was biting at her lower lips. He smiled softly, and grabbed her chin lightly, forcing her to open her eyes, look into his, searching for answers to questions she hadn't even ever voiced out loud.
Would it work, or would it be just one night? Would they work, or destroy one another? And how about work? Work, work, all over again.
All she could see in his eyes made her questions feel obsolete. Nothing was fair, in love and war. But she had had her share of war already, she deserved love. His eyes were filled with just that, respect, and enough desire to make her shiver under his glance. Not leaving his eyes, she pulled at his neck, forcing him down, half closing her eyelids at the softness of their kiss, that slowly heated to finally let them breathless, her back against the wall, his hands on each side of her head. They both spotted the switch at the same time,and she reached for it, leaving the darkness embrace them, neither willing for the other to see the pain on his or her face, her arm slipping under his shirt once more, finally able to feel the heat of his skin, of his body, radiating to hers, reviving her by his simple presence.
"I need you, Jack!" she finally let out, between two kisses, her voice pleading, nearly shaking as she felt tears prickling her eyes. She had had a long day, a long week. A long month. Hell, the whole time they had spent apart had seemed to her like a lifetime of its own, and it was too much time to spend apart.
"I'm here for you, Sam. 'Ll always be." he answered, his voice steadier than he had feared, kissing her forehead, then trailing down to meet her lips, locking his to hers in a silence promise. There was hardly anything he could promise, at least nothing more than that one night, and any other they would be ready to fight for. A lot more, a lot more days as well, his lips were saying, his tongue swaying against hers.
*The End*
