Scully could feel herself breaking. She sat unmoving in the passenger seat of Mulder's car. Her sister had just died 3 hours ago. Died for her. It should have been her. Her cheeks were dry and shoulders stiff. She had been unable to cry and felt both guilty and relieved for it. To many things had happened in the last two years. Her father's death, her abduction, Pfaster, the medical files they just found, Mulder's near death, and now her sister's death. It was to much. She found herself breathing harder. I can't do this, she thought frantically as the car drove steadily down the highway.
She didn't know where Mulder was taking her. He had held her for about ten minutes in the hospital room before gently touching her arm and leading her to the car. She assumed they were headed to his house. She felt relieved that he wasn't taking her home. To the place where Melissa died. Her blood stain on the carpet.
"Pull over." Scully demanded. Mulder didn't hesitate due to the tone of her voice and quickly pulled over to the side of the empty highway. She bolted out and made it only three steps before emptying the contents of her stomach. She felt Mulder behind her rubbing slow circles on her back with one hand and gathering her hair up in the other. He didn't speak as she vomited and continued rubbing her back as she gasped and wiped her mouth on her sleeve.
"Hold on I think I have some water in the car." Mulder said softly and Scully stared at the dirt listening to doors opening and closing then Mulder's footsteps back towards her.
She took the water from his hand and drank carefully. Mulder stood uncomfortably over her unsure how to react. Scully slowly rose to her feet and Mulder put his hand on her back as he lead her towards the car.
They continued the rest of the drive in silence and Scully felt relieved as they pulled up at Mulder's apartment. All she wanted to do was sleep. They both got out of the car and Scully followed Mulder up the stairs.
She stood at the doorway staring into his living room. She had just been there the other day with her gun pointed at Skinner. A chill ran down her back. The only light was the faint glow of Mulder's fish tank. He flipped on a lamp and went to the other room. Scully stood awkwardly in her trench coat her hands clasped tightly together. Mulder came back holding a towel and a pile of clothes.
"Here. Sorry I don't have any of your fancy soaps but I figured you would want to shower." He said with a small smile.
Scully took the towel and noticed that he had given her a t-shirt and pair of boxers with little green men on them. She raised an eyebrow at him.
"They're my smallest pair." He said with a shrug and lead her towards the bathroom. "Uh the facet is a little tricky." Mulder said as he turned the water on and started messing with it. "How hot do you like it?"
"Um whatever you put it on is fine." Scully answered distractedly. Mulder's bathroom was small and neat. The shower had only two types of soap. Shampoo and body wash. Great. She thought absently. My hair will be looking fabulous tomorrow.
"Let me know if you need anything else." Mulder said as he brushed passed her and closed the door. Scully stripped off her heavy trench coat and set it neatly on the counter. When she finally got in the shower she closed her eyes against the feeling of the warm water against her skin.
Mulder sat on the couch and turned the TV to the comedy channel. He didn't think he could stomach anything else right now. The blank look on Scully's face scared him. He hurt for her and didn't know what to say. He was only used to dealing with his own grief not anyone else's. He put his head in his hands in misery. He's the reason Scully's hurting. She sacrificed everything to be with him on his mission to find the truth. He pulled on his hair relishing the pain. He felt tears spring to his eyes from the guilt. He hurt Scully. It's his fault Melissa died. He was startled from his self pity by a knock on the door.
He pulled out his gun and looked through the peep hole. It was Skinner.
Skinner hid the shock at Mulder's appearance as the young agent opened the door. His eyes were red like he had been crying and his face was covered in stubble. Dark circles covered the underneath of his eyes and he looked practically dead on his feet.
"Skinner?" He asked his voice rough. Mulder took a step back to let him in.
"Sorry to disturb you at this hour but I need to talk to you about the deal." Skinner said as he walked into Mulder's small apartment.
"Look now isn't a good time." Mulder said crossing his hands defensively over his chest. For the first time Skinner noticed the shower running.
"Scully's sister died tonight." Mulder said turning around unable to look at his boss. Skinner knew that if he saw Mulder's eyes they would be filled with guilt.
"How is she?" Skinner asked knowing that Scully was the one in the shower. There was no one else.
"Not good." Mulder said sinking into the couch putting his hands back over his face.
"Look Mulder, it's good that she is here. I need to talk to both of you."
"Can it wait?" Mulder said harsher than he anticipated.
"I wish it could but it can't. You need to know what's going on." The sound of the shower turned off and a few moments later Scully came around the corner.
"Mulder do you have a brush?" She asked before stopping her eyes widening at the sight of her boss. Skinner took in her appearance. She was wearing what was obviously Mulder's shirt and it hung down almost to her knees. Her hair was sticking up in every direction. Skinner was surprised at how small and young she looked without make up. Her freckles were prominent and eyes icy blue.
"Skinner." She said softly before turning and glaring at Mulder.
"He wouldn't leave." Mulder said annoyed as he got up and walked towards her. He slung an arm protectively around her as he said, "He says he needs to talk to us about the deal. That it's important."
Skinner suddenly felt very out of place. He wished he had just waited until morning. He hadn't realized that he would be walking in on such a private moment. He knew that Mulder and Scully's relationship went passed that of a normal partnership but was sure that they hadn't spent the night together before. Especially by Scully's awkward behavior.
"So what is it?" Scully asked sharply looking less then intimidating with her wide eyes and messy hair.
"I need to discuss the details of the deal. Please take a seat. It wont take long." Skinner said as he sat in the arm chair across the couch. Scully sat on the couch and crossed her legs giving Skinner a glimpse of alien patterned boxers. He couldn't help but notice how close Mulder sat to her their shoulders touching. Skinner briefly went over the aspects of the deal he made before quickly getting up to leave.
"Thank you." Mulder said as he closed the door behind him and breathed a sigh of relief. The tension in Mulder's apartment was too strong and Skinner was more than happy to get out of there.
Mulder looked at Scully as the door closed behind Skinner and smiled.
"You look good in my clothes Scully. Skinner must have appreciated it." Scully suddenly started laughing uncontrollable laughter brought on by a mix of awkwardness and hysteria. The way Skinner had looked at them, quickly mumbled the story then bolted from the room was priceless.
"I never thought that Skinner could blush." Scully said clutching her stomach. Mulder joined her on the couch a smile still evident on his face.
"You look worn out Scully. Why don't you go get some rest? You can take the bed."
"No Mulder it's your house-" She started before he cut her off with just a look. She nodded to tired to argue and followed him to his room. He stood uncomfortably in the door way as he watched her. There was something extremely intimate about her wearing his clothes and climbing into his bed even if he wasn't joining her in it. The heat he felt in his stomach was so strong he had to leave quickly saying goodnight and collapsing back on the sofa. It's just exhaustion he told himself as he stretched out on the couch and tried to push the image of Scully from his mind.
He woke with a start at the sound of his name.
"Mulder! Help!" Came a cry from his bedroom. He was up and tripping over the sheet wrapped around him desperately trying to make it to the bedroom. Scully needs me, he thought desperately his mind still clouded from sleep. He pulled the door open and saw Scully struggling against the sheets her eyes were closed and she was panting.
"Please stop! No!" She cried in full throws of a nightmare. Mulder's heart sank. He didn't realize Scully had nightmares too. The thought was enough to make him want to curl up on the floor and cry.
"Hey Scully it's ok." He said sitting on the bed next to her and grabbing her arm. She struggled hard against him.
"Mulder!" She screamed in agony causing his heart rate to increase and he pulled her up against him holding her tight.
"I'm here Scully. I'm right here." He said stroking her back willing her to wake up.
"Mulder?" She asked softly her eyes opening. She was panting hard as her eyes met his.
"You were having a nightmare." He said softly brushing damp hair back from her forehead. Scully's face suddenly turned bright red as she took in their position. She was on his lap, his arms wrapped around her holding her close to him.
"Sorry." He mumbled untangling his arms from her as she sat up beside him.
"Thank you." She whispered after a few moments of silence. "For not making me go home tonight."
"Scully-" He started as he lifted her chin to look into her eyes, he saw tears there. The next thing he knew she was in his arms again sobbing hard against him. He held her close as she cried. He was surprised to feel his own tears against his cheeks. When she finally quieted down he pulled her back and kissed her forehead then tugged her back into his arms again.
"It's going to be okay Scully. We will find these people and expose them for who they are." He whispered against her hair.
"I'm scared Mulder." She mumbled against his chest the admission hitting him right in the heart. "I feel so alone."
"I will always be here for you Scully. Always." He said pushing her back to look into her eyes. She blushed at the intensity of his gaze.
"I don't think I can go back to sleep." She admitted her voice shaky.
"Me neither." Mulder said his hand still in her hair. He sat up and helped her to her feet and they walked into the living room. Mulder picked up the blanket from the floor and they settled down on the couch. He flipped on the TV and put his arm out gesturing for Scully to come closer. She scooted down the couch and into his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder watching the images dance on the screen.
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