Title: The Marker Bandit

Rating: G

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, please don't sue.

Summary: Roy offers Dick some congratulations.

Notes: As always, thanks to Dev for the beta.

"Grayson."

"Well, look who's acting all professional."

"Living in the building makes it difficult to explain why you can't show up at the office," Dick said, leaning back his office chair.

"And what demands your time today?"

"I'm looking at the placement of some new clinics. There are a few areas Gotham could use better coverage. Plus I'd rather not have to drive so far for stitches when I'm in Bludhaven, so I'm looking at adding some there as well."

"You know, you could just stop needing stitches. That would solve the problem too."

"Did you call for a reason, or did you just feel like harassing me?" Dick said, turning away from the desk to look out the windows.

"And that isn't enough of a reason?" Roy laughed. "I was calling to congratulate you on the award."

"What are you talking about?"

"Someone needs to check the news a little more often."

"Did you start up those Titan awards again? Roy, you have a daughter. I swear, if I find anything that belongs in a middle school bathroom..."

"I'm offended that you would ever suggest such a thing. I did not bestow this honor on you. Turn on LNN."

Dick grabbed the remote to switch the television to the appropriate channel.

"Police arrested two suspects today on charges of attempted burglary after the pair fled the scene of a Carroll apartment building. By trying to disguise their faces with black markers, the team earned themselves a Darwin Award."

"The likeness is uncanny," Roy said through his chuckles.

"What am I supposedly seeing?"

"The one on the right."

"Okay..."

"Dude! He drew a freaking cowl on his face as a disguise?"

Dick took a closer look at the screen. If he squinted, and tilted his head, he supposed that somewhere in the scribbled black mess was the form of a cowl.

"Do you have an alibi for Friday night?"

Dick's mouth twitched.

"Come on! Not only did the guy try to hide his identity with a sharpie, he also tried to be Batman. Did the cowl come with a download of the big guy's sense of humor? Holy bad disguise, Batman!"

The twitch turned in to a full-blown laugh.

"Finally. Now, Lian is holding a tea party next weekend that she expects you to attend. If you can post bail in Iowa by then, make sure to come."

"Sure, sure. Good to hear from you. Thanks for the laugh."

"Anytime, bro, anytime."