The Cat Who Loved Lasagna

by malkshake

One day in wherever Garfield lives, Garfield was sleeping in his box. "Here, Garfield" said his owner, Jon, waking his cat up, "I've made you some lasagna." Garfield was excited because he loved lasagna. He started to eat it and it tasted good. "This lasagna tastes better than normal" Garfield said, or thought, or whatever. "That's because it has a secret ingrediant - my cum!" Jon laughed "Because you're such a prick, I stuck my dick in the lasagna and came into it. You're eating a shitload of my man milk". "Wow Jon, thats a really queer thing of you to do" Garfield said, annoyed. "That's because I am a huge faggot!" said Jon "I'm going to go rub it in that whore Liz's face now!" and so he ran off. Garfield gave what remained of the lasagna to Odie who ate it and wagged his tail like a retard. Just then the window was smashed in. Heathcliff jumped into the house and did some kung fu moves shit. "Prepare to die motherfuckers! I am America's favourite cartoon fat cat!" and so Heathcliff killed Garfield and Odie. And all of this could have been prevented if Jim Davis laid off the drugs.

The end.