ATTENTION: IF YOU HAVE NOT READ Always and Forever YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTAND THIS FIC. If you're so inclined, go and do so now. If you are already familiar with the fic… then welcome, and read on.

AN: Ok, first of all I would like to say, I have NO IDEA how this is going to work. I didn't think it through at all before I promised it to you guys, but I'm just going to have to suck it up and deal with it. Wish me luck.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any affiliated stuff. The only thing I have mild control over here is the inner workings of Draco's mind – not even the quoted letter is mine. That masterpiece belongs to catrites, and can be found in its entirety at our joint fanfiction, Always and Forever.

Oh – and this is a response to Chapter 4.


Draco glances up, unconcerned, as the quickly-becoming-familiar owl flies through the open window, depositing one letter before him, and another beside the plate of his mother. It flies off again without waiting for a response; they would be a while in coming, and Potter knows that the Malfoy's owls will be sure to deliver.

The blonde glances suspiciously at the parchment that isn't intended for him, but curbs his curiosity with a sigh. Throwing down the last of his morning coffee, he takes his own letter and heads off to a private part of the house – not his study, but his bedroom. Things feel more… personal there.

When he is settled in a wingback chair by the dreary, rain-spattered window, Draco takes a moment to examine the letter, running long fingers over his own name written in that ungodly scrawl. It's not a sight he would ever have expected to see, and it still surprises him.

Draco cuts open the seal, using a small knife kept on a table close by for that specific purpose. Taking a deep breath, he steels his Malfoy composure, tries to slow his heartbeat, and opens the letter…

His eyes scan the letter, skim the first few paragraphs – and then he stops. Potter seems… well, pissed off. He has succeeded in angering the great Harry Potter – and it's not a good feeling. His heart sits, heavy, in his chest; his shoulders are tense – with what, is that guilt? Ridiculous. And yet…

Draco kind of respects Potter. It kills him to admit it, but he feels little besides admiration for this boy, this man. Because he is all that Draco can never be – he is good. Curse the universe for making it so, but the anger, disgust and disappointment of one you respect will always cut you down.

Buck up, he tells himself. You are Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin fucking Prince. You do not give this boy an inch.

But as he turns his eyes once more to the beginning of the letter, Draco knows something has changed. The optimism has gone.

If you really want your wand to sit and rot in a museum…

He feels a shudder go through him. Sit and rot? No, he couldn't do that. He doubts any wizard could physically allow that to happen. Rot… It's a horrid thought, all that magic wasting away, the wand slowly dying as it rests, unable to be of any use, abandoned by its wizard…

Perhaps Potter is right. He shall keep the blackwood wand – after all, it has done so much, it hardly deserves such a fate. Yes, that is best. Draco will look after it better than some ridiculous fan.

But then… oooh no, Potter is not going there. His mother? The Gryffindor idiot is seriously questioning if he cares for his mother? He wouldn't know a damn thing about parent-child relationships – and the Malfoy's have never been your average family. Trying to give him advice, no, that was just crossing a line.

He pulls the nearby table closer, mind finding the right words even as his fingers cut a new quill and prepare the parchment and ink. He scrawls out one hasty, angry paragraph while the emotion is fresh. Usually this is the top of his list of Things Draco Malfoy Doesn't Do (Especially When Potter Is Involved), but anger… while it hasn't served him particularly well in the past, it is the least dangerous emotion to reveal.

He reads over the lines, and his resolve softens. He allows some concessions to flow onto the page. There; enough. He moves on.

Somehow I expected that you would have read it, if just for the Potter-bashing they did for so many years.

Now Potter is putting words in his mouth, insulting himself on Draco's behalf, and this is easy, he knows how to react to this one. Because no one assumes they know how Draco thinks! He is an enigma, dammit!

But then he's seeing throughDraco's mask, and the Slytherin is back to panic in a second, because that is just not ok. Because it makes him vulnerable – Draco has always been taught that feelings are weak. And when Potter says "You act … as though you're cruel and heartless, but you're not, are you." it hurts, because it's like he's pierced Draco's soul. Someone has actually seen his heart, and it's kind of killing him. He just isn't used to this.

I don't think you would have ever seriously hurt me intentionally—

Draco tried, Merlin how he tried, but he couldn't, he always failed. He rarely even felt malice toward the hero, let alone succeeded in hurting him. And Potter knows that. When the hell did he become so perceptive? And when did Draco start giving so much away?

and I don't think that you even want to see me hurt anymore.

He refuses to analyse the truth, and consequences, of that half-sentence. His eyes read on…

I don't think you're the kind of person who could actually intentionally hurt someone else.

And Draco's mind, and heart, stall for a moment. Because he's reminded that he and Potter haven't spent every year together, arguing happily at Hogwarts. He's reminded of last year. If the oh so honourable Gryffindor had seen Draco then, he would be worried about giving him ideas, and he never would have testified at his trial. Let's just say, even the littlest Death Eater is still a Death Eater. Almost worse than having someone you respect criticise you, is having that same someone think well of you because they believe a lie.

Which leads me to think of our 6th year at Hogwarts.

Draco feels himself tense… Surely Potter is about to bring up the events of the Astronomy Tower, and he doesn't think he can handle that. The failed assassination attempt was not his finest hour; he still gets muscle spasms from the 'lesson' Voldemort taught him later that night.

"That spell"? For a moment he's so caught up in the memories that he forgets the other… chaotic event of his 6th year.

But then Potter apologises, and his heart gives another painful ache, as his hand comes up to finger the scar beneath his shirt… He- Potter is apologising for almost killing Draco, on the night Draco would have killed himself? Harry Potter, who lives to make the world a better place, apologising for injuring a Death Eater? He just- he can't. He shakes his head, and moves on.

That doesn't mean that I'll always do what they want, or that they'll always do what I want.

Draco thinks of his father –his actions, his disappointment in Draco – of his mother's attempts to protect him… How true that statement is.

The moment Voldemort decided to use you to try to kill Dumbledore you became tangled up in all of this.

He's glad there is someone who doesn't think it is his fault, doesn't think he's just evil and couldn't wait to be a Death Eater and torture, maim and kill. But Draco is surprised that it would be Potter, of everyone. Potter always held the most unreasonable grudge… Ok, so perhaps it had been completely warranted, but all the same – reason and insight was not something Draco had come to expect.

I'm not sure I do know what we are to each other, anymore.

That is the million-galleon question, and one he doesn't feel ready to answer, or acknowledge. Draco skips over that too.

Then, the ending. And Draco just doesn't know what to think – this letter has sent his emotions and thoughts in so many directions, crumpled so much of his control, and this last statement has completely thrown him.

Much love…
Always and Forever,
Harry Potter

Draco drops the letter to the table, and busies himself cutting new nibs. He needs to think.