A/N: Thanks a bunch for clicking this! This is my first attempt at slash, so I hope it isn't too bad... Anyway, get reading, and I hope you enjoy this!
This is my entry for Round 7 on the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competiton forum. The challenge was to write a romantic story about Hugo and Scorpius, between 1000 and 3000 words, and somehow this came out, heh.
I want to thank gote for all the help. You're the best!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
xxx –out of the ashes of friendship something more is born – xxx
Post Scriptum
Dear Scorp,
That sounds so awesome. Imagine, no parents, no teachers, just a whole house all to yourself... Oh wait, you don't have to imagine, you already have it haha. Though I'm excited to live on my own, I don't want to leave Hogwarts yet. Despite that I'll have to in a few months... Oh well, I'll deal with that when it comes.
You asked about Layla and me, and I'm not quite sure how to tell you this. I've dated Laura, Monica, Emily and now Layla, but...
Oh Dumbledore, how am I going to say this? I'm not even sure myself. Merlin, I hope I have the guts to send this letter when I finish.
Okay Scorp, you might wanna sit down, this may be shocking. Who am I kidding? This is shocking, but it has to be said. I've never told anyone this Scorp, not one single person. You're first one. It took me so long to figure out... and dammit, I really have to say it but I just can't.
So... I'll just start with Layla. No, not Layla, Emily. Remember what I said about her, why I broke up with her? Well, I lied. I know, I've never lied to you before, but I just couldn't face it yet. I doubt I'll be able to face it now. I'm such a rubbish Gryffindor.
Anyway, I didn't break up with Emily because she kept staring at Marcus. Or because she was too giggly. Or because she had that pimple on her nose. Merlin Scorp, I have no idea how to say this. It's, I mean, I broke up with her because I didn't feel anything when we snogged. Nothing. Not a single little thing.
I should've felt something. Whether it was butterflies or just pure primal lust, I felt... nothing. And Emily is a pretty girl. I mean, it's not like other blokes weren't interested in her. I once heard them talking about her and her, you know, assets. I hadn't even noticed! Guys are supposed to notice those things first, look at women like they're a piece of meat, and I hadn't even noticed!
I think you know where this is going, eh? You're a smart person, maybe you even knew before you got this letter. Maybe you already knew before I myself knew.
Anyway, at first I thought that Emily wasn't my type. So, Layla... she's the complete opposite of her, you know? Dark and silent and mysterious, but still... I felt nothing. Maybe, if I had dared to tell you earlier, I – we – would've figured out it sooner. Maybe, if you had been here, you would've noticed. But that doesn't matter, because I didn't and you weren't.
But at last, I figured it out. I'm not sure, should I apologize for it? Apologize that I didn't tell you sooner, maybe. I suppose I'll just write down the words and, and we'll see what comes from it.
Oh Dumbledore's socks, Scorp, I just... I don't know, okay? I'm so confused. I'm just going to say it and send this stupid letter before I lose my stupid courage and just say it.
I am gay.
I have the feeling I should apologize, and I'm so sorry Scorp, though I don't know-
I didn't continue reading, just let the piece of parchment fall to the floor. It hit the white tiles with a soft flutter.
I was standing in my own kitchen, having just finished cleaning it, when I had gotten Hugo's letter. Hugo and I had been friends since we had found out about our mutual love for Wizarding Chess, and had soon become Chess partners. Ever since he had started at Hogwarts, we had played a game every week. And during those years, a weird sort of friendship had grown between us, despite the difference between our ages.
When I had to leave Hogwarts, we had a small dilemma. Were we friends or just Chess partners? I didn't have to worry long though, as I got a cheery letter from him in the first week of the holidays. And so, we started writing. It started with just one letter per week, but it was too tempting not to write more often.
We didn't see each other a lot, only during the holidays, but somehow it still felt like our friendship got stronger and stronger. We had been writing like this for over a year, and now... this letter...
Those three words. Even though I didn't see the letter anymore, they were dancing in front of my eyes. They were screaming an unspoken truth I had known about myself since long ago, but had always refused to acknowledge.
And now, now they were trying to force me to see it, trying to break my denial. But no, they would not succeed. Because I was a Malfoy. And Malfoys were not gay.
They were not. Not gay. I was not gay. No, I was not.
I was not gay.
I took a deep, shaky breath, then slowly pulled my wand out of my pocket and pointed it at the letter.
"Incendio," I whispered, and watched how the flames licked at the piece of parchment, slowly devouring the letter.
And just like my friendship with Hugo, it was now ash.
"I love you Scorp," the redhead next to me whispered, her head resting on my shoulder.
"I love you too, Rosie," I responded, running a hand through her thick curls.
"Mm," was all she said as she snuggled up against my chest. Rose was in all ways perfect. She was smart, funny, sweet, caring, pretty, interesting, understanding, and so much more than that.
But she wasn't Hugo.
I cursed myself for thinking that. How could I think something like that? Rose was the best girlfriend I could wish for!
But you don't want a girlfriend.
My hands curled into fists, and my body tensed as unwanted thoughts fought their way into my head.
"You should relax Scorp, forget about those patients for a moment," she said softly, referring to my new job as Healer.
How could I tell her I wasn't thinking of that? No, how could I even think those things?
"Hm," I mumbled, stroking her hair as we cuddled on the couch.
It was a few years ago that Rose and I had gotten closer. Just after the... incident, actually. Rose and I had known each other, of course, and had been on civil terms, but not particularly close or anything.
But, we had met again, got talking, and slowly, slowly, I got to see how much of an amazing person she was. How much she was like Hugo.
No, no, no, she wasn't like Hugo! She, she was... she just wasn't like Hugo.
I hadn't spoken to Hugo since the incident. Not alone with him, at least. It was of course impossible to avoid him, as I was dating his sister. And we had talked, of course, just small talk during birthdays or family get-togethers, when something like that couldn't be avoided. But really spoken to him... no, never again.
But I should've known, that some things can't be avoided.
"Oh sorry Scorpius, I really have to talk to her. I'll be back in a few, don't you worry," Rose said, and bended down to give me a quick kiss. "Hugo, entertain Scorp for a bit, 'kay?"
Without waiting for an answer, she was gone, leaving me with Hugo. If she had known about the friendship between me and Hugo, she might have – no, would have acted differently. But she didn't, and so this happened.
"I er, I don't want to bother you, so I'll just be going..." I said, quickly getting up. I was almost at the door when Hugo spoke up.
"Scorpius." It was the way he spoke my name, an almost pleading tone in it. It made me froze on the spot.
"Please..." he murmured. "Just answer one question."
I tried to speak, but it seemed like my voice had stopped working. Instead, I settled for a stiff nod.
"Did you read the letter?" It was barely more than a whisper, hardly audible, yet it sounded incredibly loud to me.
I opened my mouth to give the obvious answer "Yes," but then realised that it wasn't the right answer, because no, I had not read the letter. Not completely at least.
After a few moments, I croaked, "No."
He didn't respond for a few seconds, but then he said, "Thank you."
"Why?" I asked him, before I could think about it. I turned around to look at him. "Why did you ask that?"
A simple shrug was his response, but I didn't believe him for a second. With a few big steps I closed the distance between us.
"What was in the letter, Hugo?" I demanded, not knowing why, only knowing that I desperately needed to have that little piece of information.
"How much did you read?" he asked.
"You apologized," I said slowly, going back to that moment. "That was the last bit I read, before..."
Before I burned the letter. Before I burned our friendship.
"It said," he whispered, and unconsciously I found myself leaning in. "It said P.S. ... I think I love you."
I wasn't thinking. I was just happy. So incredibly, amazingly happy, because Hugo...
"Do you?" I whispered, surprising myself that I was able to form a coherent sentence.
"No."
My world shattered. That big, swelling feeling of happiness inside of me deflated as quickly as it had come, leaving a dark, cold void. It felt like it could never be filled again, leaving me with a hole in my heart.
"No," Hugo repeated, "no, I don't think so anymore."
A feeling of hope and confusion seemed to fill my heart as he leaned in further, only a few inches of air separating us.
"I know," he whispered. It took me a split second to understand what he was saying. And then it hit me.
He knew he loves me.
I didn't need anything more than that, as I threw all my denial and lies out of the window. I closed those last few inches between our lips, and as we finally kissed, I felt that bubble of happiness in my heart explode, filling my entire body with it. And when I realized, through my blissful haze, that he was kissing me back...
My life was complete.
I didn't know how long we were standing there, completely lost in each other, but we were pulled out of our bubble by the sound of the door opening.
"Scorpius..." Rose's tear choked voice reached my ears, and I turned around.
"No, Rose, I-" Hugo said, and in complete horror I realized what we had done.
Her blue eyes, misty with unshed tears, stared in mine, accusing, sad, heartbroken. "Rose..."
She didn't reply, instead just turned around and Disapparated on the spot.
Before I could even begin to process what just had happened, Hugo punched me straight in the jaw. Then he looked at me with ice-cold eyes, and whispered, "I hate you."
He broke and crushed my heart in that moment.
I had never heard him so angry, so vengeful. It wasn't over yet though, as he was now pointing his wand at me, tears in his eyes.
"I hate you! You fucked up everything! Me, our friendship and now my sister!" he screamed at me, jabbing his wand in my chest.
Somehow, despite everything that had happened, I felt incredibly calm. I didn't say anything, just gently grabbed his hands and pushed him on a chair.
His hands were trembling in mine, his teeth clenched and his eyes were glaring at me.
"I am so sorry Hugo," I said. I saw he was about to say something, so I quickly continued. "Please Hugo, let me talk for a moment, okay? I need- need to say this. I know that saying sorry isn't enough, it'll never be enough, but... Hugo..."
I took a deep breath, feeling myself shake a bit. "I shouldn't have treated you like I did. It was terrible and..." I gulped, "and unforgivable. But you have to know that despite everything, that I care a lot about Rose and you know it was never my intention to hurt her like that, and, and-"
I tripped over my own words, trying to force that one sentence out. "And maybe, I should've realised it sooner and, and... Hugo, I love you."
Hugo stared at me for a full minute, his brown eyes expressionless. All of sudden, he stood up and pushed me away.
"You disgust me," he sneered. Then he roughly grabbed my shoulder and pushed me towards the door. "Out, Malfoy. You are no longer welcome here."
When I didn't move, he pulled out his wand again. "Out I said! Fucking hell, Malfoy, leave!"
And I left.
I was no Gryffindor. If I had been a Gryffindor, I might've stayed. But just because I didn't stay, didn't mean everything was lost.
In the next year, I did my very best to apologise to Rose. At first, she was, understandably, not interested in me and my pathetic apologies. But I persisted, and finally we got talking again. I tried to explain, and did everything in my power to earn her forgiveness, and in the end, she forgave me.
After that, Rose and I got closer again. Not romantically of course, but we became good friends, as far as that was possible after everything that had happened.
I didn't even try to talk to Hugo. I didn't deserve his forgiveness, and I knew it. Then again, with Rose, I didn't deserve to be forgiven either, and yet I still tried. Because deep down, I knew what was the real reason why I didn't try to talk to Hugo.
Because I was scared. Because there was still a small part of me hoping that everything would be fine, and talking to Hugo would definitely crush that hope. And I didn't think I could live without that hope.
It was Rose who got Hugo and I talking again. It was two years after Hugo's and my big fight, and Rose had invited us both over to her house, without us knowing that the other would come.
Of course Hugo tried to leave as soon as he noticed me, but Rose begged him to stay. She couldn't stand this much longer, she told us, she couldn't stand seeing both of us unhappy, while it was so easy to be happy together.
It wasn't easy. But thanks to Rose, we tried. I apologised, but Hugo didn't forgive me. Of course not. But that didn't stop me. Because I may not be brave, but I was stubborn. I kept trying, days and weeks and months, till he finally agreed to meet somewhere. We had a drink at the Leaky Cauldron, and from then on, things were looking up.
Maybe we would never get together, maybe we would never be able to regain our old friendship, maybe things would never be normal between us, but that doesn't stop me from trying. That doesn't stop us from trying.
Because, in the end, it'll be worth it.
A/N: Thank you very much for reading this! I hope you somewhat enjoyed this... somehow... Please leave me your thoughts in a review! Good or bad, I welcome both!
Thanks again!
