During the battle, I gave my everything.
Yet I had so much more taken from me.
I clutched his cold, pale hand in mine, as if I was holding onto life itself. He couldn't be gone, I thought. We've come too far, sacrificed too much. He cant leave me! "Because it was real." Thranduil said, his voice dull and pain worn. His words cut through me like knives. And what hurt most of all, was that he was right. It was real. But I hadn't truly understood that.. until now.
Now I knew that I loved the black headed archer, as much as I loved the starlight.
I loved his way his eyes shone with youth and curiosity. I loved him for his loyalty to his family, and to his heart.
Kili gave his last so that I might live on. He loved me, unconditionally. And now, I would never have the chance to return that.
I gently kissed Kili on the forehead. The small amount of warmth leaving his body lingered on my lips. Thranduil respectfully kept his distance, and watched. I was swallowed up in the silence to follow.
"And what is to become of you now?" he asked, his voice breaking the quiet tension. "Where will you run?" I looked up at him, my eyes burning with tears. The truth is, I didn't know. I had been banished from the only home i've ever known."Where fate may lead me." I whispered, gingerly brushing a strand of hair from Kili's brow. Heartache and grief consumed me. I slowly got to my feet, pushing past the Elvenking, not daring to look back.
I took refuge in the halls of Erebor that night. The dwarves were more than generous. They provided me with chambers fit for a king, and allowed me to stay as long as I needed. Kindest of all, they provided me with consultation for my loss. The dwarves were as heartbroken as I was. But I refused to accept any of it. Kili's death left my heart numb. I subconsciously shut everyone and everything out. I had no appetite, and rest was nowhere to be found.
Because it was real. I lie awake on my satin sheets, Thranduils words echoing in my head. My mind was reeling with questions. I was shaken out of my deep train of thought by a pounding on the door. I found the will to get back onto my feet, and opened it to reveal none other than Balin standing before me. "Elleth, there is something you need to see." I was about to ask what in the world caused him to rouse me at this ungodly hour, but he stopped me. "Its about the lad, Kili."
I pushed past Balin, tripping over my own bare feet as I raced into the hall. A search party of dwarves, pulled up to the gates of Erebor. The torch light flickered off of the frantic party, carrying someone between them. They filed into a large chamber, resting the body on the large bed. I wound my way through the maze of people, pushing through to get a glimpse at what was so important. In between two heads, I could just make out the face of...Kili. My heart dropped, and I was frozen in shock. He was alive.
((Thanks for reading guys! This is my first shot at a fanfic..and I will continue if people would like me to..thanks!))
-Tauriel-
