The first of ten Kyp/Jaina ficlets, each following a distinct theme. I started off doing the Ten Genre drabble challenge, but as with most every time I try writing a drabble, these sort of exploded.
The title is taken from the Snow Patrol song of the same name, and the theme for this one is Angst.
He doesn't mean to watch her. Doesn't even want to, really. Would like to say that he doesn't need to. It's a lie, so he does; he's always been good at lying to himself.
Whatever the reason, she knows he does it. Catches his eye, smirks or scowls depending on whether or not he's in favour this week, if she's in the mood to deal with him and his...well, him.
He knows it irritates her more than it flusters her, although it does that as well and he tells himself that's why he does it. It's not, but so long as he has some sort of a reason other than the truth, he's fine with that.
He catches her watching back on the odd occasion, turns around to fast and sees her staring. It's only then that she flushes, angry and a little bit of something else that Kyp won't let himself have as she snarks out some insult and he replies easily in kind.
He watches her argue with her friends about her decision and stands next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder and delivering a condescending smirk. Watches her expression freeze, and her teeth clench. She waits until her friends leave, exasperated (Kyp has that affect on people) before removing both with her fist.
He watches her fight and stand behind her, protecting her back because she's so Force-damned focussed on forging a path that she forgets that she needs to live through this.
He watches her rise and supports her from the shadows, watches her falls and picks her up and steps away immediately, makes like it never happened. He watches her stop watching him and start watching him, watches as he does more than just watch back.
And so he loses her.
It's much later when he stands before her and doesn't ask why. She tells him anyway, though, and he lets her because she has to justify this to herself somehow.
"I needed someone who would do more than just watch me," she tells him, and doesn't meet his eyes.
He stares over her should for a moment, past her head. It's not hard, she's kind of short and he's kind of not.
"A Goddess shouldn't need anyone," he says eventually, and forces himself to look at her then, see the hurt rise in her eyes for a split second before the steel clamps down on it, shutting him out.
She turns without a word and he lets her, because as much as he wants to do more than just watch, needs to, needs her, he can't be that person for her.
He can't be the one to bring her down like that
Thanks for reading
