Dean stared down at the text on his phone, mouth slightly open.
unknown: currently googling 'apology gifts for when you poop on their floor'
"What the fuck." Dean muttered, already tapping out a response.
dean: i think you have the wrong number
Then his phone was… ringing.
Fuck it, he had to hear what this was about.
"Brother, I don't have time for your juvenile sense of humor right now. You shit on the floor of my house and Google will tell me the proper amount of compensation so that I don't have to kill you."
"Dude, you have the wrong guy." Dean said, snickering into the back of his hand.
There was a sigh on the other end of the line. "I'm so sure."
The line clicked dead, and Dean had just enough time to consider telling Sam about this before the door slammed open and his roommate hid under the desk.
"What the-"
Gabriel looked up, pressing a finger to his lips and shushing Dean furiously. "Quiet!"
Comprehension started to dawn on Dean, confirmed quickly by the gravelly voice echoing through the hall.
Dean dove for the door, already laughing as he tugged it open. "In here! The asshole's in - fuck!"
Dean fell to the ground awkwardly, cradling his shin. "Son of a bitch. Was that really necessary?"
"I hope you know I'm gonna haunt you, pretty boy." Gabriel said, hand still clutched around the metal figurine he'd hit Dean with.
"Gabriel." a deep voice said and -
Okay. Okay, wow.
The voice belonged to a man in a tan trenchcoat, sex hair and blue eyes and just the perfect amount of stubble.
"Cas!" Gabe squeaked, scrambling out into the open and trying very hard to make it look like he'd never been hiding. "Where you been, buddy?"
"I've 'been'-" holy shit, did that dude just make actual air-quotes, "cleaning up your mess. Quite literally."
"Dean." Gabe said desperately. Dean was pretty sure he was just looking for any distraction so he could get the fuck out of there as soon as possible. "Castiel, you haven't met my roommate Dean!"
"Hello, Dean." Castiel said formally, reaching out to shake Dean's hand without completely taking his eyes off of Gabriel.
"Pleasure to meetchya Ca- Gabe!" Dean shouted, trying and failing to untangle his hand from Castiel's.
Gabe had darted in like the treacherous little weasel he was and slapped a handcuff over first Dean's left hand and then Cas's right, easily dodging Cas when he tried to grab at him.
"You're welcome, Cassie!" Gabriel shouted, running down the hall the fastest Dean'd ever seen him move. Castiel jerked to run after him, but the unexpected momentum knocked Dean over and straight into Castiel's back. They both fell to the ground in a tangle of awkward, limbs twisted at uncomfortable angles and elbows and knees slammed into soft places.
Then Dean found himself face to face with Cas on the floor, far too close and damn he wanted to kiss him-
Cas dragged them to a standing position, gripping Dean's hand firmly before sprinting after Gabriel. Having no choice but to follow, Dean ran with him.
This would be - interesting, to say the least.
