A/N: This is simply to say thank you. All of you. A second year down on this site, and you all still manage to keep me humbled and feeling blessed for your support.
Here's to another year of shenanigans, murder, and mayhem. Without further ado, the lyrics featured in this gift are shamelessly adapted from Eminem's song "Without Me" Again...I repeat...I adapted them...but the lyrics belong to him wholly and completely.
Marshall...please don't kill me. Or sue. Cause...I love you?
If you all don't hear back from me...you know what happened.
A single spot light comes glaring as it falls upon one Fandom Angst, author of "Back to Darkness" and "Creatures of the Underworld"
Clearing their throat...their expression becomes serious and unamused at they droll off and deadpan into the microphone with a ridiculously heavy British accent.
"Fandom Angst...Real Name No Gimmicks..."
Fandom Angst strolls off the stage with swagger, the garish spot light following them as they pass The High Queen of Angst. The partners in crime and co authors exchange fist bumps before Fandom Angst escapes off the stage after their introduction, only to be nearly run over by The High Queen's two best friends and sisters, The most beautiful of lies and Kon13 as they prance onto the stage.
Hip hop music begins to fill the stage as the two authors skip and parade around The High Queen of Angst, who bobs her head with a thuggish beat as she lifts the mic and and drones off in a horrendous obnoxious, nasally, high-pitched voice.
Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside
The High Queen of Angst lifts her hand to point skyward, twirling her index finger around as the two ladies continue to dance around in a circle around her.
'round the outside
'round the outside
She continues to thuggishly nod her head as the music continues to flood the stage.
Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside
'round the outside
'round the outside
The High Queen gives a whoop and sign of victory to the crowd as an erotic moan comes from somewhere in the audience.
...you know who you are...
WOO! (Ooooh!)
Kon13 and The most beautiful of lies make a mad dash off the stage as a curtain raises to reveal a full blown choir of angst writers.
SweetLiars, Queen Ore-sama, BrokenButFriends, Contrary To Popular Belief, and Princess Unicorn123 begin chanting in black choir robes.
Guess who's back (back back)
Back again (gain gain)
Queeny's back (back back)
Tell a friend (friend friend)
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back...
The sound of a match being lit comes up and over the music as the garish spot light falls back on The High Queen of Angst. Seductively blowing the match out, The High Queen gives a smile before falling into a nasally rap verse.
I've created a monster
'Cause nobody wants to read humor no more
They want angst, so I chop livers
Well if you want angst, this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of suicide, mixed with some cold murder
Her face becomes squished and serious as she really gets into the lyrics, clenching a dramatic fist of emotion.
Some horror that'll jumpstart my heart quicker
Than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital
By the doctor
When I'm not cooperatin'
When I'm rockin' the netbook while he's operatin'
The High Queen's expression becomes amused as an eyebrow waggle and wry smile crosses her lips, immediately parted by another lyrical outburst.
HEY!
You waited this long, now stop debatin'
'Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag
And ovulating
Her voice becomes obnoxious in its mimicry as she continues to peddle her rap tune.
"I know that you got a job, High Queeny!
But your readers heart problems are complicating"
The Queen raises her fist in revolt to the trolls and the Critics United who threatened her and others with shutting them down and silencing them.
So the lyric police
Won't let me be
Or let me be me
So let me see
They tried to shut me down
Oh well, we'll see
'Cause it feels so empty without me
Hips rock and sway to the rhythm and pace of the rap as The High Queen continues to lay down the sick beat.
So come on dip, my bum on your lips
Forget that!
Blood on your lips, and some in your grits
And get ready
'Cause this shit's about to get heavy
And I'm laughin' at these lawsuits
AIN'T GOT NO MONEY!
The words are screamed out as The High Queen raises her hand above her head, waving it in rhythm to the beat and the thuggish nod of her head as she hits the chorus.
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody...just follow me
'Cause we need a little...controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me
I said
"This looks like a job for me"
So everybody...just follow me
'Cause we need a little...controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me
The Queen juts a finger to the crowd of angst readers who have loved and supported her through two years of blood sweat and tears.
...this one's for you...
Little hellions
Kids feeling rebellious
Embarrassed, their parents still use a thesaurus
They start feeling like prisoners, helpless...
'Til someone comes along on a mission and types
"BIIIIITCH!"
The word comes snarled out through the mic before she continues in her lyrical brilliance.
A visionary, vision is scary
Could start a revolution, polluting the net waves
A rebel
So just let me revel and bask in the fact
That I got everyone kissing my ass
And it's a disaster!
Such a catastrophe!
For you to see
So damn much of my ass, you ask for me?
Well I'm back!
Her hips move in time and beat of the batman theme song as she belts it out like a dork.
[Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah!]
Fix your slow modem and
Tune it in
And then I'm gonna enter in, and up under your skin
Like a splinter
The center of attention, back for the winter
I'm interesting
The best thing since wrestling
Infesting
In your kids computers
And nesting
The Queen pugs her knows to mimic being thrown over a poor quality comm system.
Testing...
She continues laying down mad lyrics for the amusement of the crowd.
"Attention Please"
Feel the tension
Soon as someone mentions me
Here's my 10 cents
My 2 cents is free
A nuisance
Who sent
you sent for me?
The High Queen of Angst begins to rock and bob to the chorus, raising a hand above her head to the rhythm of the beat.
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody...just follow me
'Cause we need a little...controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me
I said
"This looks like a job for me"
So everybody...just follow me
'Cause we need a little...controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me
Falling into the final verse, throwing her hand up in thuggish seriousness as she continues to rap for the amusement of her beloved fans. Her family.
A tisk-it a task-it, I'll go tit for tat with
Anybody who's talking this shit, that shit
Kyo Sohma, you prick!
You gonna get your ass kicked
Worse than that little...Akito bastard
And Yuki
You gonna come home with Queeny
you 17 year old sliver headed boy
You love me
I know you want me
You're so hot...lets go its over
The Queen throws up a disco finger, her face squishing with emotion as she belts out the next words with passion.
EVERYBODY gonna listen to techno!
She falls back into the rhythm of the rap, composing herself in thuggish seriousness.
Now let's go
Just give me the signal
I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults
I've been dope
Suspenseful with a pencil
Ever since Kon turned herself into a symbol
The High Queen rocks to the rhythm of the words as they fall from her lips with ease.
But sometimes the shit just seems
Everybody only wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm disgusting
But its just me, I'm just obscene
Though I'm not the first Queen of angst writing
I am the worst thing since Kon13
To do angst writing so heartlessly
Just wish this could get me wealthy
Another boisterous outburst interrupts from her lips, momentarily throwing the rap off before she falls back into the rhythmic pace again.
HEY!
There's a concept that works
20 million other angst writers emerge
But no matter how many fish in the sea
It'd be so empty without me
The High Queen of Angst falls into the chorus one more time, grinning to the fans in the audience as she raises her hand above her head.
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody...just follow me
'Cause we need a little...controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me
I said
She juts a finger and the mic to the audience as they chant along with her to finish up the chorus all together.
"This looks like a job for me"
So everybody...just follow me
'Cause we need a little...controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me
The Queen begins to humorously babble, her tongue hanging out unattractively as she makes noises into the mic.
Hum dei dei la la
la la la la la
la la la la la
la la la la la
Hum dei dei la la
la la la la la
la la la la la
la la la la la
She throws up her middle finger in the air to wild applause as she screams out into the crowd.
"Kids!"
END
