Chapter one: Cigarettes, Ragdolls and Beetles

Ok let's get one thing straight before I tell you my story I am not lying about ANYTHING. Okay? Okay then let's get started. This is a story about 3 Takigakure Genin By the names of Nobunga Satoshi, Naminure Raiga and Fuu. Respectively they were strong but together they were unstoppable. They all had something in common as well, they were all orphans. Now then let's jump right into the Shinobiverse.

"Come back here Demon!"Yelled a man as he chased a young mint haired girl, but as quickly as the chase started it stopped.

"Oh Jashin I hate these fucking people sometimes, I mean really a fucking kid?!"

When the girl looked to see who had stopped the man she saw a man with pale silver hair, magenta eyes, an odd pendant around his neck and a large triple-bladed scythe across his back.

"Oy kid, are you alright?"

"I'm fine Albino-san."

"Okay let's get one thing straight girly I am NOT albino, and if you're gonna be respectful call me Hidan."

"Okay."

"Are you hungry?"

A rumbling sound answered him as the girl smiled sheepishly.

"Okay then looks like I'm buying two plates of spare-ribs tonight."

As they walked Hidan noticed people giving the girl angry and disdainful looks as they passed. As they arrived at the barbecue restaurant the hostess pulled out a large carry-out bag and handed it to Hidan as he payed the cashier.

As they arrived at Hidans apartment Hidan squatted down to match the young girls height.

"Now before we go in you need to know something, I live here with my partner and best friend, Naminure Kakuzu and his grandson Raiga. Now a word of warning, don't get Kuzu-Oji mad and definitely don't touch his money. People die when they touch his money."

As they entered the apartment the girl saw an older man with tan leather-like skin, odd stitch marks all over his body, long brown hair pulled into ponytail and Christmas colored eyes sitting at a table playing poker with a young boy about her age. When the boy saw her over his large pile of chips he immediately jumped down and bolted over to her.

"Hiya my names Raiga , what's yours?"

"Hello Raiga-kun my name is Fuu."

"Well it's nice to meet you Fuu-chan."

As the children spoke Kakuzu walked to Hidan and calmly punched him in the face.

"Really Hidan I send you out to pick up the food and you come back with a kid too? Are you insane?"

"We're shinobi Kakuzu we have to be crazy."

"Where's she going to stay?"

"She can bunk with Raiga."

"Ugh fine but you ARE responsible for her Hidan. Understand?"

"Completely."

(2 year timeskip Raiga and Fuu are both seven and entering The Academy)

"Hey brats slow down will ya?"

"Hmmm, how about no?"

"Heheh I agree with Fuu-chan."

As the children bolted into the school yard they noticed a boy their age with slate gray hair, coal black eyes and oddly enough an unlit cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth as he lounged under a tree.

As the pair walked over to the boy he cracked an eye and stretched as he stood up.

When he noticed the pair he strode over to them exuding cockyness with every step as he approached he tilted his head slightly and turned to Raiga.

"Who might you be?" He asked.

"I'm Raiga and this is Fuu-chan."

"My names Satoshi, nice to meet you."

Soon however, their conversation was interrupted by a flying rock.

"Hey Demon! Why are you at a school for real kids?"

"Yeah go back to whatever hell you came from!"

As they yelled these taunts and jeers Fuu slowly sunk to her knees and began to cry, as this happened Satoshi's cigarette flared to life. Slowly as the boy turned to face the bullies, a dark aura formed around him slowly taking the shape of a Hanya mask with silvery white hair, a black mist slowly seeping from its mouth and two blank spots where the eyes would be.

"If you cock sucking, ass licking fuckers ever fucking hurt Fuu-chan again I will strip you naked hog tie you and stuff your underwear in your mouth and shove you in a prison shower. Do we have an understanding gentleman?"

"Yes sir."

"Good, now get out of my sight before I get angry."

As the boys ran from the cigarette smoking boy a sly grin came across his face ' I've got to remember that trick. ' .

Soon the aura behind him began to dissipate he turned to the two behind him with a cheerful smile on his face.

"Well THAT was fun."

"Ok I'm never going to make you angry . . . ever." Raiga said with wide eyes, Fuu however was beaming brightly with a jaw stretching smile on her face.

"Oh thank you Sato-kun!"

Satoshi simply blushed slightly and smiled in a embarrassed manner.

"Eheh it's no problem Fuu-chan, really."

Suddenly the bell for class began to ring

"Well, see you in class guys."

As Satoshi ambled lazily towards the academy the two children he had left behind heard something that sounded suspiciously like 'troublesome'.

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Authors Note: ALRIGHT! I'm finally doing a fanfic! Just remember that constructive criticism is welcomed, but flames are met with nude pictures of Jiraiya on your phone, laptop and desktop. Not kiddin folks I am dead serious. And a shout out to my friend Marian and my buddy Blaine and Blaine remember, kiss her where it smells, take her to New Jersey! Cyber Out.