When I was in first grade I moved from my big city school to a small town school half a country away. My mom had just died and I now lived with my dad.
I was scared and I felt so alone, before a couple of months ago I only saw my dad a few times a year and now we were trying to learn about each other at the same time I was a sad, grieving and confused little girl.
I had only been there for a few days but I was already not doing so well in the friend making department. The kids there had literally all known each other since there were in diapers. Even in first grade, it's hard to break into a group like that.
On my 3rd day there I asked my teacher to use the bathroom and she said sure, go right on ahead. I stared at her for a minute waiting for her to come with me. At my old school you couldn't just walk out of the room by yourself. She told me again to go ahead and go so I walked out.
A sense of direction is something I don't have and so I just wandered around before I found the bathroom. Finally I walk in and when I see a boy peeing I burst into tears.
Startled the boy hurries up and then asks me why I'm in here. I tell him through my hysterical sobbing that I'm lost and I really need to go to the bathroom.
"What's your name?" He asks and I tell him Bella. He tells me his name is Sam and then takes my hand and leads me to the girl's restroom and tells me he will wait outside for me and walk me back to my classroom.
After that I would see him a couple of times a day and he even asked me to eat lunch with him. He told me he was in 4th grade and for a long time that confused me because in my old school you never saw other grades during the day and lunch was with your class. Sam and I became friends, him being my only friend and his friends often making fun of him for not only hanging out with a girl but a girl in first grade. Sam never cared.
As the school year came closer and closer to an end I worried I wouldn't see him anymore, still not really understanding the whole small town concept. In my old school you only saw your friends at school but Sam assured me he would see me during the summer.
And he did… every day. He convinced his mom to convince my dad to let me stay with her while he was working. It wasn't hard; Sam's mom is a well trusted teacher so when she offered my dad jumped at the chance to know I was taken care of without having to put me in the local daycare.
Sam's mom, Alison, is still like a mother to me today. She taught me how to bake and cook and sew and all kinds of other things when Sam and I weren't running around town on our bikes or swimming at the lake or watching movies at the movie theatre. I wasn't even allowed to go outside by myself in the city so this felt like pure freedom.
Sam still hung out with his friends as they eventually figured out if it came to a choice it would always be me. I even became friends with a few of their little sisters and we would all do things as a big group.
I finally fit in.
When the school year came again I wasn't the same scared, confused, sad and lost little girl as I was a year ago but Sam still went out of his way to see me when he could and I started going to his house most afternoons.
This is how it went for years until I was about 13. Suddenly it felt weird to lay in bed with him and watch a movie. It felt weird for him to hold my hand when we jumped off the rocks at the lake. It felt weird to spend the night at his house when my dad picked up an extra shift.
I told one of my girlfriends about it and we decided I must be falling in love.
I was back to being scared, lost and confused without a mother to talk to about all this. If it had been another boy I would have talked to Alison.
Sam started dating and I hated every single one of them even though they never lasted more than a couple of dates.
I started hanging out with him less and less and I think he was hurt and confused but I didn't know what else to do. For two years we drifted apart.
Then it was time for his senior prom and he was refusing to go.
One day Alison told me to ask him why he wasn't going so even though we barely spoke anymore I asked him.
He told me the only girl he wanted to go with barely spoke to him.
"Ask her anyway, the worst she can say is no right?"
"Bella, will you go to my prom with me?" He asked me and after the shock I said of course and he kissed me.
Prom was 6 years ago and as I watch him snuggle our newborn daughter I can't help but be thankful for walking into the boy's bathroom all those years ago.
The End
