Prologue
She stands at the kitchen counter in her apartment and holds the letter in her shaky hands and just stares. Unwilling to believe the words that she's reading, so reads them again and again, hoping that maybe they will change. Finally they sink in. The dread. The realization that in her hands, is the letter that she was hoping she would never have to read. That she would never receive, and all she can think is how the hell could this happen.
This is the last thing she needs right now. She was finally getting to a place where she feels comfortable, where she feels safe. She just wants to forget about the letter and pretend like it never happened. She doesn't want to have to revisit her past. Relive all the horrible things that happened. GOSH, what will the team think of her when they find out. If they find out. That was one of the things she was hoping would never happen. Would they treat her differently? Would they she her differently? And she tells herself no. They
Chapter 1 part 1
He's sitting at his desk filling out some long over due paper work when two familiar voices fill his ears. Kensi and Deeks are bickering about something again.
"Deeks, I can't believe you! Never mind scratch that. I can believe you, because only you would do something so low."
That's when he finally looks up to see them entering the bullpen coffees in hand and he wonders what Deeks could have possibly done to piss Kensi off.
"You know what? I don't see why you have a problem with it."
Now Callen is leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed across his chest with a smirk on his face. "Okay. What did Deeks do that gives me the displeasure of having to listen to you two arguing at this early in the work day already?" Callen asks trying to hold back a smile.
"This one over there," she says pointing to Deeks. "asked out the girl who gives us coffee at my favorite coffee shop."
"And." he says urging her to go on.
"And? What do you mean and?"
"I mean why is it such a big deal?"
Kensi's mouth is slightly open and is now staring at Callen like her point is oh so obvious. "Are you kidding? I'm never going to be able to show my face again at that coffee shop. Deeks is going to go out on a date with her, sleep with her, only to never call her. And then when I want to get coffee at my favorite cafe I won't be able to because I'll be known as the girl who was with the guy who never called."
Deeks covers his hand over his heart in mock hurt "Wow. I didn't know you thought so low of me. I don't think that's your problem at all."
"Really? Then what is my problem?"
"I think your jealous!"
Callen is grateful at this moment that Sam finally walks in. "Morning! What's these two arguing about this time?" He asks playfully.
Kensi lifts are arms up in annoyance and says "You know what never mind. Forget about it." and sits down at her desk in defeat and gets ready for the days work.
"Okay then." is all Sam says.
At this point Callen is barely able to hold back a smirk, and now they are all starting on the paper work at their desks. That's when she walks in. Trying to ignore the fact that she's late. Not as peppy and fiery as usual. Actually she looks pretty down, distracted, and tired. That's when he calls her out. "Morning Nell." He sees her flinch slightly in surprise as she hears her name being called out. He furrows his brow when he sees her hesitate to stop and turn around. Eventually she does but not before putting a smile on her face. If he had't been watching her so intently these past weeks, for reasons not so platonic, he wouldn't have noticed how fake it was compared to her usual smile. That thought made him furrow his brow even more.
Part 2
'Just another day at the office.' that's what she keeps telling herself when she walks into work that day. She knows she's late so she's hoping that no one will notice. She can just slip into ops and get straight to work like she was there at the time she was supposed to be, but of course nothing in her life seems to be going as planned right now.
"Morning Nell." she hears Callen call from the bullpen stopping her in her tracks. She considers continuing walking and pretending she doesn't hear him, but he's a trained federal agent. He's not stupid. Plus that would be rude she thought, so she truns around and flashes him a quick smile.
"Morning Agent Callen."
She turns towards ops about to make take the first few steps on the stairs when he speaks again. "Your in later than usual." Only this time when she turns around he is out of his chair and making his way slowly towards her. Everyone's attention is on her now.
"Yeah sorry. I... Um... I had some unexpected business to take care of this morning. I'm sor-"
"Nell it's okay I didn't mean to call you out on it. I was just wondering that's all."
"Well then if that's the case then can I head up to ops i'm already late enough."
"Yeah sure." With that Nell all but runs up the stairs to ops.
"Well that was a little wierd." Deeks pitched in.
"Yeah..." Callen answered slowly still watching Nell's retreating form.
By the time Nell gets up the stairs her heart is racing and all she can htink is 'Oh god he knows. How could I think I could hide anything from him.'
'Something's up, but what?' Callen thinks. That wonderful whistle interupts his thoughts. He follows the sound to see where Eric is standing holding his tablet. "We've got a case."
