Butterfly
Chapter One: Favors and Tragedies
Hey, did you know? Butterflies are the souls of the dead, waiting to pass through purgatory.
"Hello."
A moment ago, there was nothing around me. Well, not nothing, per say, just empty white space; lots and lots of empty white space. Now, however, a figure hovered directly in front of me. The figure seemed to made entirely of blindingly white, chirping butterflies – or maybe birds. I can't really tell at the moment, seeing as my head hurts like someone dropped a shit ton of bricks on it.
"Can you do me a favor?"
The pitch of the voice was distinctly feminine, so the being before me must be a woman. Plus, the being seemed to have boobs, so that just solidified the theory of it being a woman.
"Depends," I replied gruffly, irritated by my pounding headache, "What's the favor?"
"I want you to watch over a person." the woman stated, serious.
"Why the hell don't you do it yourself, lady?" I questioned, thoroughly annoyed.
I turned away from the red eyed lady. What the fuck was wrong with her, anyway? Come to think of it, where the hell am I? This is definitely not New York.
After a moment of silence, the being addressed me again, whispering quietly, "You don't know? Ah, you don't remember what happened, do you?"
"Whaddya mean by that!?" I demanded.
I faced the lady once more, and my eyes met with kind, encouraging ruby red ones. Before I knew it, I was surrounded by those chirping white things and then everything went black. And all of a sudden everything came rushing back at me like a tidal wave. I drowned in the memories.
It was dark, and I was running down the streets. No, I was running away. Then I was in an alleyway, back against the wall, and there was a man in front of me. I know him. He had a sharp knife and he was crying.
"I love you," he told me, "I love you so much."
He raised the knife high above his head. I couldn't move. The knife came down. I watched as everything happened in slow motion. Why cant I move?! And then it slid into my stomach. And I crumpled to the floor. And he yanked the knife out. It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts-!
"I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!I love you! I love you! I love you!" he screamed, still crying.
The knife came down over and over, sinking easily into my skin, until I couldn't even feel it anymore. So much blood.
I screamed and dropped to my knees, clutching at my head. I looked up at the red eyed woman, or at least what I though was the red eyed woman, as my vision was blurry.
" M-make it stop." I sobbed.
Thin, strong arms embraced me and I was surrounded by warmth.
"It's alright now."
Three words was all it took for the tidal wave of memories to recede. My hands retreated to my sides and hung there limply, while I stared blankly at white space. A hand gently stoked my hair.
"Am I dead?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Where am I?"
"In between death and rebirth."
"Who are you?"
"I am Sheba."
I hesitated before asking my next question. It was silly, but I didn't want to delve into my memories to find the answer. I was terrified to look into my own memories, because I didn't want to know what I would find there.
"Who am I?"
She laughed gently before answering me.
"You are Raina."
"Who is it?"
"What do you mean, Raina?"
"Who do you want me to watch over, I mean."
"Oh!" she laughed again, "I want you to watch over my son, Aladdin. I want you to guide him and help him through his journey as he grows. I want you to be there for him in my place, Raina."
"Can't you? I mean, you did bring me here didn't you? So, you can go back an-"
"It's not that simple, Raina. I would love to go back, but I can't. Or at least, I can't go back as I am. But you can."
"Why?"
"Because the world I'm from is not your world, Raina. As long as you had no previous links to my world when you died, you can be reborn there as you are now."
"Why me?"
"Because we died in a similar manner, at the same time."
"You just died?"
"Yes. Well, it feels that way to us. Time passes differently beyond this space. It's already been years since our death in our respective worlds."
"If it's been years, isn't your son already old?"
"Aladdin hasn't been "born" yet."
"What? How is that possible? I don't understand-"
"My world is different from yours, Raina. In my world, "magic" exists, and things that seem impossible to you do happen."
"Okay. I guess I'll go with that for now. If I agree to this, I'll be reborn in your world as I am now, right? I'll be an adult and have all my memories?"
"Yes, that's right."
I pulled away from Sheba and looked her in the eye.
"I don't want them."
"What?"
"I don't want my memories, Sheba. I'll happily watch over your son for you, as long as you get rid of my memories."
"You don't understand. If you don't keep your memories, you won't be "you." You'll be reborn normally, as a baby. There isn't any time for that anymore! Aladdin will be "born" soon, I can feel it!"
Sheba looked to be at the brink of tears. She reached out her hand and grasped mine tightly. She looked at me pleadingly, soft red eyes beseeching me to understand.
"He needs, no, deserves to have someone who cares for him by his side. Your the only person who can do this, so please!"
I felt bad. I didn't know Sheba, but I knew she died like I did. I knew she was betrayed by a person close to her heart. And I see she is a good person. That she's a mother who cares immensely for her child. But even so, this isn't something I will budge on. My memories needed to be gone.
"Get rid of them."
Sheba looked outraged.
"Why won't yo-!"
"Do you know how I died, Sheba?"
"W-What? What are you-? Why does that even matt-"
"Just answer me. You saw how I died, right?"
"Y-yes. That man stabbed you.. It was horrible, but-"
"That man. He was my brother."
Sheba's stared at me, wide-eyed.
"W-wha"
"He was my older bother who fucking raised me since I was a baby."
"That's," Sheba whispered, looking down, "that's horrible."
Sighing, I made up my mind. I was gonna help this woman, even if it killed me again. I can tell that Sheba is like my mother, a woman with a huge heart.
"I'll do it."
Sheba's head snapped up so fast, I thought I'd break. A huge smile lit up her face.
"Thank you." she whispered, grasping my hands tight, "Thank you so much."
"Y-yeah, your welcome, or whatever." I replied looking away, flustered.
"Oh! I got it!" Sheba said a few moments later.
"What?"
"Your memories. I could replace them. You would still be "yourself," it's just that you would not know why. I suppose it would be something like having amnesia."
"What would you replace my memories with?"
"Well.." Sheba replied hesitantly, "The only thing I could replace your memories with is...my own memories."
"What?! The fuck, wouldn't that just make me you?!"
"No, no!" Sheba let go of my hand, and frantically waved her's in denial.
"So, then what would happen?" I asked, confused.
"You would have all my memories, but you wouldn't be me in them. I would be as if your watching my life happen."
"So kinda like a watching a movie?"
Sheba tilted her head to the side curiously.
"What's a movie?"
"Never mind."
"What do you think?" She asked cautiously.
"I'll do it." I replied instantly.
"Are you sure?" Sheba asked, worried.
I nodded. I had truly already made my decision the minute she mentioned replacing my memories.
Gently she placed her hand on either side of my temple. Sheba's memories began to fill my mind, replacing the ones I already had. It was like watching a movie. Before I knew it, I had reached the end. The moment of Sheba's death played out in my head, and I felt tears come to my eyes. I knew what she was feeling at the moment that woman betrayed her. However, I no longer knew why. All my own memories were already gone, replaced by the memories of Sheba's life. I was still myself, however I did not know what events led to me being as I am "now." I knew I could play the violin. I just didn't know why. It was a strange feeling, but I would have to get used to it.
"I'm sorry." Sheba apologized sadly.
"It's fine. I had a good reason for this, even though I can't remember it fully, anymore. Don't blame yourself, I know what I agreed to."
Sheba smiled a smile that wasn't a happy, but sad. An moment later her face morphed into on of determination.
"Promise me something."
"What is it, Sheba?"
"No matter what happens, don't become bitter. Don't end up like...Arba."
"I promise you I won't become like Arba, Sheba. But I need you to do me a favor too."
"What is it?" Sheba asked curiously, tilting her head to the side.
"This time around, live the life neither of us had before. Live happily enough for the both of us, Sheba."
Sheba teared up at that, and nodded vigorously.
"Promise. Good luck Raina, be careful," Sheba told me, with a watery but determined smile on her face.
Smiling, I nodded and let go of her hands. I felt myself falling backwards. I fell through time, space, and the very fabric of the universe. I knew in my heart I would never see Sheba as she was, ever again. I suppose I am lucky. I get to be "myself," even after dying.
Thank you for giving me another chance, Sheba. I won't let you down.
