Title: Of Technology and Men
Notes: A little 30min piece on how dealing with today's technology (touch screens, voice recognition software etc) can be really frustrating if you're a orphan from Brooklyn in the 40s.
Enjoy.
Key: (youllbeinmyheart1997 suggested this may be helpful)
Italicized = Steve
Capslock = THOR
Normal brackets = [Bruce]
Curly brackets = {Clint}
Dashes = -Coulson-
Asterisks = *Natasha*
Double parentheses = ((Tony))
Tony mocked Steve constantly that Thor (a god) had a better grasp of the technological world around them than Steve did, but the soldier wasn't so sure. Thor was allowed his errors and ways because – well – he wasn't human, so when he didn't know how to use something, people forgave him. Steve on the other hand was just expected to adjust to everything and by golly it was weird. He took anything and everything someone gave him and explored it with curiosity. Besides, if you stripped away the technological advancements, the world hadn't changed that much. Not in his eyes. The same people still fought, the same people still lied, the same people still believed. Although he was living in a tower with Tony-lives-in-a-world-of-holographic-touch-blueprints-Stark, techno-engineering genius, so he really was already screwed so to speak as Tony would not let anything go. There were moments when Steve baited him, just to see the unabashed shock in Tony's face and then the resigned 'You're being funny. Ha-ha. Get me coffee and stop being so sassy, apple pie'.
He was training in the gym one afternoon – dodging Fury for the third time this week and going to Coulson instead. The director wasn't happy with him about that but the super soldier couldn't care less about it. Steve went to Coulson first with any issues or problems he had and since the man's recovery he'd enjoyed spending time with the agent. He found out Coulsons' reasons for joining the marines, he noted that (oddly, like Tony, but Steve's never going to mention it to either man if he wanted to stay alive and not be reunited with the Arctic) he had a different coffee he ordered for each day of the week, a routine he never wavered on, and he smiled when Coulson told him about his niece: a promising, pretty young girl who clearly idolised her Uncle, not that Coulson bragged about it.
Steve's cell phone vibrated loudly with an incoming messege. Fetching it from the pile that mounted in the form of his jersey, his duffle and two water bottles, and hoping purple robotic puppies hadn't invaded Times Square again, Steve unlocked the screen. It was a text message from Thor. Well, when he said text message, he meant –
MY LOVELY JANE WHERE IS THOU?
Steve chuckled and shook his head.
Wrong number Thor. It's Steve.
There was a beat and then –
NO THIS DEVICE SHOWS JANE'S FACE AS A PERSON TO WHICH I AM SENDING –
Steve was about to ignore it when the phone vibrated again.
-MESSAGES
It took Steve a few moments to realise Thor was finishing his previous message.
Yeah, this isn't Jane, sorry.
Buzz.
OH MY DEAREST CAPTAIN I AM SORRY FOR THIS CONFUSION. MAN OF IRON JUST GAVE ME THIS and I – I AM FINDING IT MOST INTRIGUING.
Steve settled onto the floor of the gym typing back.
It's okay. I know how you feel.
Steve scrolled along his contacts, selecting Clint and writing the following –
Hey Clint, are you around for your weekly training this evening?
Press sent. He didn't expect the quick reply he received. Nor did expect what was written.
[Sorry Cap, Bruce here. Still having issues with Stark tech?]
Steve frowned, re-checked who he had sent it to. Definitely Clint. The hell?
Oh apologies. How are things?
[Fine down here, just finished reading Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep. I cannot believe you read it before me. We should have a talk about it]
[I just got a message from Thor - apparently he misses me]
Steve grinned. He had felt quite pleased to have read a late 60s science fiction novel that the chemist hadn't. He made Doctor Who jokes around Tony just to see the wince and then smiled at Bruce when Tony ranted about the dimensions of the Tardis.
Ah, that's not meant for you. He's having trouble. Saying that, I think I am too.
Buzz.
[Didn't think it was for me somehow]
And that was that as far as the conversation went.
YOU ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL
Still me Thor.
OH I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. MY DARLING JANE DOES NOT APPEAR TO BE AVAILABLE. WHY IS THIS?
I don't know sorry.
Steve tried Natasha: pretty certain she hadn't been ferried out for a mission. Contrary to belief, Natasha checked in when she had to hop continents.
Hey Nat. xx
Buzz. Buzz.
{Wrong SHEILD agent super soldier. I'm guessing this is Steve and not Tony on Steve's phone}
Clint! What? Why are you saved under Natasha?
Buzz. Buzz.
{It's your phone, I dunno. Nice of you to see us as one. Could hold problems though. Why don't I get xx? What is Thor going on about, are you getting weird texts too?}
I don't! That's lewd Clint stop. Are you around for training? And yeah, he's having trouble.
{I'm messing. :P Yeah I am. Got a meeting with Coulson. See you after xx}
Steve scowled at the phone; this just wasn't his day today.
Scrolling, stopping at Tony's contact he opened a blank message and he typed –
Tony have you messed with mine and Thor's contacts?! Fix it! It's really annoying. Conversations are getting strange.
Steve watched the message send.
Then.
Buzz.
AH CPATAIN I DO APPEAR TO HAVE THE RIGHT PERSON YES?
Steve sighed.
Hello Thor. Did you manage to get hold of Jane?
NO THIS SO CALLED SOCIAL DEVICE DOES NOT WISH ME TO CONTACT HER. IT IS VERY UPSETTING. I AM NOT AMUSED.
Steve sniggered at the last part, showing Thor that use of the phrase had been an experience.
-Please Steve, whatever issue you have with Mr Stark, could you kindly not inform me. Thank you. Clint has already informed me of certain things-
Steve's eyes widened. That was Coulson.
Holy crap.
Sorry, my contacts are acting strange today. Have a good meeting with Clint.
He didn't receive a reply back. Thankfully.
This was nuts.
I'm going out on a limb here. Natasha?
*Yes? Hello, Steve, what's up?*
Oh thank god. I've been trying to get hold of you but my contacts are scrambling, I don't know who's who?!'
*Oh, who am I under then?*
Steve checked.
Pepper according to the contacts.
*I'll take that as a compliment. Tony probably did something. Thor is whining very loudly over here. He threw his cell phone at the TV*
Steve could understand the feeling.
((Capsicle, where are you?))
There was only one person in the whole of the United States of America who called him that.
TONY. You're filed under Bruce, what the hell is going on?
((Am I? That's a bit kinky Cap. Tut, tut. I should tell Coulson on you))
Steve growled to empty room and rolled his eyes at screen.
((Thor broke my Stark Phone 6.5. Sacrilegious I tell you. Mean too :'( ))
Both our contacts have been screwed with. So either it's a system fault or…
'Or it's you' Steve muttered under his breath, leaving the ambiguity out there, knowing that Tony would pick up on it. And true enough-
Buzz.
((Hey, no faults in my technology! It's me. What are you talking about?))
((Ah... That'd be why JARVIS warned me about re-writing code. Whoops))
Steve blinked, frowning. He sometimes believe that Tony didn't realise he was talking, or in this case typing, to other people.
Tony.
Tony.
Steve gave up, he didn't' care anymore. Flopping onto his back he looked at the ceiling of the gym - the high dark scaffolding and bars.
Really, modern technology wasn't worth the hype people gave it.
I tend to agree with you Steve, sometimes I despair. But review.
