"But what happened between you and Matty? You know back there on the way to the non-wedding? I know that he wants you, and just watching you, I know that you want him, so what happened?" Liv looked up, from where she was lying on the floor, to where Franky lay on the bed.
"Ghosts". Came the muffled reply from Franky, pushing Liv's feet off of the bed, and burying her head under the pillow.
"Ghosts? And what exactly does that mean?"
"Gmm... sh... lllsht..." came the unintelligible reply.
"Wow, and that means, exactly what?"
"I can't... ". Came the voice from the pillow.
Liv sat up, moved over to the bed and put a hand on Franky's back, rubbing it gently, trying to sooth Franky's demons. "It's okay, you know. Whatever it is, nobody cares. They're your ghosts; everybody has some. I just think that maybe yours are scarier than most. Matty loves you; we all love you: Grace, Mini, Alo, Richey and me! You know that you're safe with us right?"
"Hmmm... seems to me that you have been holding out on me! Where's the spliff?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Richey loves me? Grace loves me? You love me?"
"I must. I gave Matty up, and didn't even feel a real need to push you under a mobility assistance scooter! And there is no spliff!"
"So you were there too, huh? Did everybody in college see me on the first day?"
"Pretty much; I think that's when I first asked myself, who is that fascinating person? " Liv purred. "Then you came out with us, danced at the mall, played make-up and ran like hell when Grace got you that necklace and I knew; I knew that I could love you. "
"Ja... ssss... mmehruyehns..." came the mumble, as she hid under her pillow again.
Liv peeled back the pillow, and looked into misty eyes. Liv gently wiped the moistness off of Franky's cheek, than leaned in to kiss everything all better. At least that was her intention, but how could she not take time to try to cajole a smile. Anything to brighten that beautiful, sad face, but the tears didn't stop.
"Do you know what the best part of love and trust is? People think that you are you: and they love you; and are fascinated by you; and want to hold you; and protect you; and `freak or strange' or any of those other words that you seem to hear in your head never enter into anyone`s elses thoughts"
"I think it's the holding me that made me lose my mind".
Liv's hand had not left Franky's back, though her rhythm had slowed. The kiss meant to settle Franky had done its work, allowing Franky to slowly express her feelings. Liv had not expected Franky to turn over so suddenly, and now found her hand, embarrassingly slowly rubbing Franky's breasts. And where does one go from there? Liv thought as she went to pull her hand back.
"I wanted him to kiss me; I wanted him to touch me, and then I just panicked. Everything went from perfect to trapped in 10 seconds flat; and I don't know if I can stop it from happening again, and I don't want everyone to think I'm a freak; I'm sure that you, and Mini, and Matty must think that I am, she thought silently, but I don't know if I can keep the ghosts out of my head".
Franky's panic at being physically touched dissolved Liv's heart. Liv wanted to test Franky's boundaries. Franky seemed reasonably calm right now, and after all, she had allowed herself to be touched, even kissed in the church. Would Franky pull away from Liv too? she wondered. Never one to shy away from a physical contact, Liv left her hand on Franky's breasts to see if Franky would move the hand, if Liv did not.
Franky left her hand alone, and after a noticeable pause, Liv raised her hand to Franky's cheek. "Franky, people care about you. You are who you are, and I love you for who you are; no strings". Slowly, as in the church, and so as not to spook her, Liv leaned in and kissed Franky tenderly, a kiss to which Franky responded.
Slowly at first, cautiously, gently Liv raised herself level with the bed, not placing her weight on Franky, she continued to kiss Franky, until Franky started to shuffle over to make room. As Franky began to move making room for Liv, Liv climbed over Franky, so that she would be trapped between Franky and the wall, allowing Franky the escape she felt that Franky needed.
``It`s okay Franky, whatever is going on in your head, it`s okay". She brushed Franky`s bangs away from her face and kissed her cheek again. "Just lie down here, beside me. Sleep. Everything will make more sense in the morning. It`s amazing what time can do for perspective. Maybe we can talk then". (And maybe tomorrow, we try a to go a little further, if you want too, thought Liv).
