"The things you find..." muttered Severus Snape, as he settled in an armchair with a cup of tea.

"Your last search of the Slytherin Common room found how many copies of that Westbourne Witches pinup?" Minerva gently admonished. "What could possibly have astonished you?"

"Experimentation! In the bathrooms! Potions!" Snape's face twisted into a combination sneer and smile. "I was passing the boy's bathroom on the third floor - it's hardly ever used unless the stairs are just right - and I heard moaning."

Minerva sat opposite, intrigued. "Not just that silly Myrtle making a fuss?"

"My thought too, but I object to her hanging around the boy's bathroom, so I went in. The room was steamy, and I could barely make out two figures - one leaning over a basin and the other standing. They were completely absorbed in whatever they were doing, and one of them was moaning as if in pain. And then I realised - the moaning was complete, unadulterated pleasure." Snape paused.

"Do go on, Severus." Minerva's mind was cycling through a number of possible activities that could cause such moaning in a bathroom, and dismissing most as highly unlikely. Although students seeking privacy would make use of the strangest places...

Snape took a sip of tea. "The steam cleared, and I saw Tonks standing, her hands clad in rubber gloves holding a vial of vaseline. Then the person at the basin begged her to continue. Of all people, William Weasley!"

"And what was she ... ?" Minerva leaned forward, horrified and yet fascinated.

"Dying his hair! Using a Muggle potion, and massaging it in! He was obviously enjoying it far too much! Weasley wanted to find out what it was like to have a different hair colour, so he'd turned to our own New Romantic chromatic. You'd think they had been watching music videos or something."

"And?"

"And so I fixed the colour permanently. He'll have to wait until it grows out naturally before Weasley Junior goes back from purple to red."