Okay so this... thing was spawned by me plotting my Jake cosplay for Telford/ midlands comic con in ngland soon :3 any of you guys going for that? if so like hit me up and we can hang and be dweebs :3


TT: Hey Jake, I know we've only been talking for a little while now, but I heard it's your birthday from Roxy

TT: So I sent you a little something

TT: You'll probably hate it

TT: But I hope it helps you fend off some of those monsters on your island that totally exist.

TT stopped pestering you


Your name is Jake English and you are confused. You expected Dirk to send you something dumb on your birthday, you mean, you love the guy to bits but he sure can be weird. You weren't sure what you were expecting from him, maybe hoping for him to show up at your island and go 'just eat me 3' was probably a lot to ask.

But come on Mr Strider, I'm sure there are perfectly good reasons why you did this, probably due to your beloved irony, but you can't really follow any train of logic that could lead the chap to purchase and send you... a shitty plastic mp5 sub-machine gun. Still, the sheer fact that it's from Dirk makes it more than worth keeping safe.

Dirk is a funny fellow, you think to yourself as you lie on your bed. While you've rarely seen his face barring a few incredibly awkward video chats on pesterchum (three of which ended with both of you stripping to prove you were more manly than him- obviously he never let the camera go below his belly button- although you did *ahem* accidentally *ahem* once), it is permanently seared on your consciousness.

e

You feel waves of unconsciousness press at the corners of your eyes as you load up pesterchum to send a quick message.


GT: Thanks Dirk

GT: It was a really nice present

GT: although the irony wasn't as obvious as usual

GT: maybe we can video chat in a while and you can explain it?


You pull the mp5 close, imagining dirk being between your arms instead of hard plastic. Heh heh. Dirk. Hard. Heh.

You drift off to sleep with a smile on your face, and are as such unable to see the messages on your computer screen.


TT: Damn son I'm gonna have to step up my game

TT: But I'm glad you liked it

TT: It's so it can protect you where I can't

TT: And hell yeah to the vid chat

TT: Maybe I'll even show you my 'dangly bits' as you call them

TT: Since you've obviously been dying to see them

TT: could've put out a newspaper ad it was that obvious

TT: Jake English seeks images of Dirk Strider's testicles, high reward.

TT: no but seriously

TT: Happy birthday bro

TT: Really wish we could have spent it together 3