Title: Baby Got Back

Rating: M

Warnings: buttsecks

Summary: Sam and Dean meet in a bar and find out they were meant for each other! A song fic. Please R/R!!!!

I like big butts and I can not lie

You other brothers can't deny

Dean sits alone in a bar, stuffing his mouth full of peanuts.

That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist

And a round thing in your face

You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough

'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed

Deep in the jeans she's wearing

I'm hooked and I can't stop staring

Dean sees Sam walk in the door and is immediately drawn to his large physique.

Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha

And take your picture

My homeboys tried to warn me

But with that butt you got makes me feel so horny

Dean summons up the courage to approach Sam. He has a vision of the two of them making fat, sloppy love.

Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin

You say you wanna get in my Benz?

Well, use me, use me

'Cause you ain't that average groupy

I've seen them dancin'

The hell with romancin'

She's sweat, wet,

Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette

Dean asks Sam to dance. They hit it off immediately and grind their large asses together.

I'm tired of magazines

Sayin' flat butts are the thing

Take the average black man and ask him that

She gotta pack much back

So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)

Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)

Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)

Shake that healthy butt!

Baby got back!

They leave the bar together, barely keeping their clothes on, hands all over each other.

I like 'em round, and big

And when I'm throwin' a gig

I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal

Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home

And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh

The two men enter Dean's apartment, leaving a trail of XXL clothes in their wake.

I ain't talkin' bout Playboy

'Cause silicone parts are made for toys

I want 'em real thick and juicy

So find that juicy double

Mix-a-Lot's in trouble

Beggin' for a piece of that bubble

So I'm lookin' at rock videos

Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin' like hoes

You can have them bimbos

I'll keep my women like Flo Jo

After a vigorous night of love-making, Sam and Dean eat ice cream together. A bit of ice cream dribbles down Sam's chins and Dean licks it off.

A word to the thick soul sistas, I wanna get with ya

I won't cuss or hit ya

But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna fuck

Til the break of dawn

Baby got it goin' on

A lot of simps won't like this song

'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it

And I'd rather stay and play

'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong

And I'm down to get the friction on

The next morning, Dean and Sam go to an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet. They close down the restaurant.

So, ladies! Yeah! Ladies! Yeah

If you wanna role in my Mercedes Yeah!

Then turn around! Stick it out!

Even white boys got to shout

Baby got back!

The two men stroll through the grocery store, holding hands and pointing at cakes and pies.

Baby got back!

Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'

to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".

Sam shyly plants a kiss on one of Dean's chubby cheeks. Dean blushes and giggles.

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda

But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda

My anaconda don't want none

Unless you've got buns, hun

You can do side bends or sit-ups,

But please don't lose that butt

Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role

And tell you that the butt ain't gold

So they toss it and leave it

And I pull up quick to retrieve it

So Cosmo says you're fat

Well I ain't down with that!

Back home, Sam proceeds to eat his weight in candy while Dean watches with loving eyes. He can barely contain himself watching Sam shove his mouth full of sweets.

'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'

And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'

To the beanpole dames in the magazines:

You ain't it, Miss Thing!

Give me a sista, I can't resist her

Red beans and rice didn't miss her

Some knucklehead tried to dis

'Cause his girls are on my list

He had game but he chose to hit 'em

And I pull up quick to get wit 'em

So ladies, if the butt is round,

And you want a triple X throw down,

Dial 1-900-MIXALOT

And kick them nasty thoughts

Baby got back!

Sam and Dean make sweet, candy coated love once again.