Title: Baby Got Back
Rating: M
Warnings: buttsecks
Summary: Sam and Dean meet in a bar and find out they were meant for each other! A song fic. Please R/R!!!!
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
Dean sits alone in a bar, stuffing his mouth full of peanuts.
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Dean sees Sam walk in the door and is immediately drawn to his large physique.
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes me feel so horny
Dean summons up the courage to approach Sam. He has a vision of the two of them making fat, sloppy love.
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupy
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
Dean asks Sam to dance. They hit it off immediately and grind their large asses together.
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!
They leave the bar together, barely keeping their clothes on, hands all over each other.
I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
The two men enter Dean's apartment, leaving a trail of XXL clothes in their wake.
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
After a vigorous night of love-making, Sam and Dean eat ice cream together. A bit of ice cream dribbles down Sam's chins and Dean licks it off.
A word to the thick soul sistas, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna fuck
Til the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
The next morning, Dean and Sam go to an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet. They close down the restaurant.
So, ladies! Yeah! Ladies! Yeah
If you wanna role in my Mercedes Yeah!
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!
The two men stroll through the grocery store, holding hands and pointing at cakes and pies.
Baby got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".
Sam shyly plants a kiss on one of Dean's chubby cheeks. Dean blushes and giggles.
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
Back home, Sam proceeds to eat his weight in candy while Dean watches with loving eyes. He can barely contain himself watching Sam shove his mouth full of sweets.
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sista, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!
Sam and Dean make sweet, candy coated love once again.
