Cuddy sat in her living room shocked about the thing she just heard. But after the shock went away she was actually pretty happy. But she kept having the expression of sadness. She didn't smile, she didn't laugh, she wanted Lucas to think she's sad, devastated.

"You seem sure about it." She said.

"I am, I seriously don't think this is working…I tried to deal with it, kept saying to myself it's okay,

but…I just…I see how he looks at you and I see how you look at him and I feel something's going on."

"Is it the only reason why you're breaking up with me?" She asked relieved that it's not her fault. She's been always bad at relationships. But she didn't screw up this time.

"No…There's actually something else." Lucas didn't seem that way but he was angry.

He was angry at House, because the only woman he'd ever loved didn't love him. She loved House. He wanted him to suffer, to feel the pain he's feeling right now. He needed something cruel, to make him pay…But he didn't have anything so he at least wanted to do something, that would make his life worse. He knew how Cuddy hated when House is sticking his nose into her personal life even after he was kind of part of it too.

"You know, I talked to House and…He said that if I won't break up with you, he will do something to make it happen…But I wanted to do it anyway so it doesn't matter now."

„What, he talked to you? He threatened you? That crippled bastard!!"

Lucas knew his work was done. Cuddy was in rage, she hated this. Even though it was kind of romantic, she was mad at him. She made her choice and he didn't respect it.

The next day

Cuddy was in her office waiting for House. Thought about everything she was about to do.

To make it clear House never actually talked to Lucas. But Cuddy was convinced that he did.

It was so like him. She heard a knocking on the door and then she saw House standing there, completely not expecting anything bad. When Cuddy saw him she totally flipped out.

"What were You thinking?!"

"First you tell me something and then ask me what I was thinking. Okay, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You know what I'm talking about and I can't believe that you even have the guts to deny it!!"

"Why are you yelling at me, I didn't do anything!!"

"Oh stop lying, I know everything…"

"ABOUT WHAT??"

"Congratulations. You totally screwed it up…This was it House. From now on our relationship is over. I'm done with you. I no longer have feelings for you. I'm no longer an object of your affection or your friend, I'm just your boss, your employer and you're my employee. When we talk it's always gonna be about things that involve work. About the patients or this hospital, when we see each other in the lobby we say hello, you're gonna call me Dr. Cuddy and I'm gonna call you Dr. House, when I ask you to do your clinic duty, you will be doing your damn clinic duty. And if you ever refuse to listen to me or you ever piss me off that much again, I swear to god, I will fire your ass outa here and no matter how many lives you've ever saved. Understood?"

House stared at her absolutely not knowing what was going on. He didn't do anything so why is she so mad? But he knew this was going to happen eventually, so he didn't argue with her. Even though it was the most painful moment in his life.

"Yes." He said quietly, turned and went back to his office.

Cuddy didn't even know how come she created such a scene. And then she started thinking…"Maybe I overreacted." She thought. But no. House was just manipulating her.

She couldn't come up with better answer for why he didn't know anything about this.

But the truth was…She didn't realize that this is going to have serious consequences…

The next morning they ran into each other in the lobby.

"Good morning Dr. House. How's your patient?"

"He's good to go." He said with absolutely no interest and it was hard to tell if he wasn't interested in this case or in talking to Cuddy.

"And by the way, I quit."

"Is this some kind of a game when I'm supposed to get down on my knees and beg you to stay? Because I won't." She said skeptically.

"I'm aware of that. It's not a game. Not anymore. I've already packed my things and tomorrow I'll be outa here." House left and Cuddy stared at him. She was actually devastated. And when she came into her office and sat down on her chair, she thought: "I'm such an idiot."

Meanwhile in House's office ---

The team had a new case and when House walked in, Thirteen immediately started informing House about everything:

"We've got a new case – 18 year old female suffered a stroke, when she was---''

"Do whatever you think is the best." House said, again with absolutely no interest at all, even though the case seemed like a good one.

"What do you mean? And by the way why did you pack all of your things?"

"I quit."

"Wait a minute. You've quit like three times since you've been back from Mayfield. And yet you're still here, so is this some kind of a game---''

"No it is not a game." House said with a little offended tone. „That woman with the stroke…Is she fat?"

"According to this file, she isn't that much overweight."

"Go check her cholesterol."

House sat in his office alone for about ten minutes and he was thinking about what Cuddy said. Is it actually over? How can that be…

"Her cholesterol is fine.'' Said Foreman as he and the whole team walked into House's office.

"Why are you quitting?" Chase asked.

"I know why." It was Wilson, who was just standing in the room. "Leave us alone for a minute."

After everyone left, House started talking with his best friend.

"I'm guessing that Cuddy told you."

"Yeah, she did." Wilson said reproachfully.

"Did she also tell you, that she has no longer any personal relationship with me? Did she tell you, that I don't mean more to her than the homeless that sits every day in front of the hospital? I give up…" He started explaining.

"She actually said that? Well, she seemed kind of cold, but---"

"Yeah, she said that. Apparently because of something that I said or did, but…I didn't do anything bad to her. I still don't get it. But she said it's over and after that I can't work with her anymore."

"Maybe I could talk to her, convince her to---''

"Damn it Wilson!" House yelled. "She's right." He continued quietly.

"You're actually willing to give up that fast?"

"I can't chase her forever." He said and jokingly lifted up his cane.

"Ok. I can't stop you." Wilson said while he was walking out of the door.

"And what should we do with our patient?" It was Taub asking through the door.

"Do whatever you want." Said House and headed back to Cuddy's office.

When he was in front of the door, he was thinking if this was the right thing to do. But he couldn't think about it anymore. He just had to do it. He walked in and started:

"I've changed my mind."

"So, You're staying?"

"No, I just decided to quit today instead of tomorrow." House said with a cheerful tone.

"You are seriously quitting? I don't believe You."

"Believe what you want, just give me the paperwork to fill out."

"You don't have to quit if you deal with the fact that I'm no longer here for you. Tell me what your plan is. How are you gonna make money? Do you think someone would hire you with this reputation?"

"Interesting."

"Oh, for God's sakes what?"

"You tell me a lot of mean things and you say all the time that you don't wanna work with me, but you still wanna keep me here because I'm the famous doctor. But how could you even think that I would stay here after what you said? Either you're that stupid or you just hoped that I'll be cool with it...But I've got news for you. I'm not cool with it. I wanna leave because I can't see you every day and pretend everything is okay...because it isn't..."

"Here's the paperwork." Cuddy said sadly.

House just signed it, because everything had been already written in the paperwork.

As Thirteen said earlier, House wanted to quit a lot of times before...

Cuddy put the paper into her desk feeling like she can't deal with this right now. She stared at him and she felt that this is the end. She will never see him again. She regretted every word she had said yesterday. She screwed up again. It was the only constant relationship with a man she had ever had and she blew it. AGAIN! The only thing she could do now was to say goodbye...In a non-romantic kind of way of course. She walked to him and lifted up her hand to shake his, wanting to say "Good luck". But instead of that happening she felt how he pulled her up against him and kissed her so passionately like this was the only thing he had been waiting for the whole time. And she didn't resist. She didn't pull away. She just enjoyed the last kiss and for a moment she pretended it wasn't. They didn't want to let go, didn't want to stop kissing because that means it's over. But sooner or later one of them had to get reasonable. House stopped kissing her and let go of her but she was still waiting for another kiss. When she opened her eyes she saw a sad look on his face. This was The End.

"I'll miss you." House said and went back to his office to check on the team.

"Where have you been?" Wilson asked as he rushed into House, when he walked out of the elevator.

"Oh...Cuddy wanted to give me something to remember her by...If you know what I mean."

House made a joke so he could mask his real thoughts.

"Yeah...What did she tell you?"

"We didn't have much time for talking...again...if you know what I mean."

"Ok...Either something actually happened and you're now pissed that you can't finish it, or she was cold and didn't seem to care, in which case you're pissed a lot more and this anger makes you quit, because you hope that she will break down and then she'll realize how much she actually loves you...But sorry, I think this is pathetic."

"You can think whatever you want. I'm not screwing with anyone, I'm not playing any games...I just don't want to work here. Deal with it." House said calmly. He walked right into his office, grabbed the bag with his stuff and wanted to go home but suddenly he felt like someone is grabbing his coat and pulling him back. It was Thirteen and she looked pretty scared.

"Where are you going? We've got a case!" She started to yell nervously.

"I don't work here anymore, so why should that bother me?"

"Probably because the woman is bleeding out of every hole! She's gonna die unless you help her!"

"She's bleeding and clotting? Interesting."

"So are you gonna help her?" He voice was once again calm.

"You can handle it on your own." House told her and went to the outer office.

"Ok, I don't work here, so you treat her and by the way, 'till Cuddy says otherwise Thirteen is in charge here." He said to his team and then turned to Thirteen and whispered to her: "You can pay back Foreman now." He smiled and walked out of the office.

Thirteen couldn't move for a while. She thought about if she really should fire Foreman. He did the same to her, so why not? She was also flattered that House left her in charge without any doubts. Either he didn't care about the patients at all or he really thought she was competent. And it felt good to suppose the second one...

House went to his apartment. Opened the door and looked around. He hadn't lived here for too long but this place had a weird effect on him. This place wasn't only his but it was also Wilson's. Thinking of all the stuff he'd been through, this was the happiest time of his life. He wasn't lonely all the time, he always had someone to bitch about his day or whatever bugged him, every day was more and more interesting. When he realized that he was about to confess to himself, that he'd marry Wilson if he was gay, he stopped with his flashback and he put a letter on the table. It was written on it "For Wilson".

He went to his bedroom and in his closet found his old leather jacket. It was a symbol of his reckless and crazy lifestyle. The one he had to put away after Mayfield. But that was who he was. He lived by his own rules. Why did he even try to change? He couldn't change. Everybody says he's the same jerk, so how better does make him being vicodin free? He put on his jacket and went to the garage. His motorbike was still there. He hadn't used it for almost five months. He looked at it with such a sentiment like it was a living person. He loved that bike, it was his treasure...

After a few minutes of staring he finally sat on it and started the engine and left his helmet behind on purpose. He left the garage, drove to Cuddy's house, stopped at her driveway and threw an envelope with a letter on her doorstep. He didn't move for a while and thought of what he wrote in that letter.

Was it enough? Did he write everything what he wanted her to know? Was this even a right decision?

"Stop thinking about it you moron!" He said to himself quietly. He knew it wasn't the right decision. But there was no other way. He hated this life. He had drove away the only two women he had ever loved, hurt other people many times, took the life of his best friend's girlfriend, his abuse caused so much pain that people hated him just after a one talk. He couldn't stand it anymore. This few months were like a hell. The guilt over Amber's and Kutner's death started to come back and his leg hurt more and more every second. What if he was back on vicodin? Would it change anything? Was it really that dangerous as he thought? What if he just found another option? He couldn't answer these questions.

But he didn't want to think about it, he just wanted to do it...so he turned his motorbike and drove so fast that he had never had. He was almost on 250 miles per hour and in that same moment he realized how fast this is, he felt like something cut through his jacket straight into his rib, heat coming from something dangerously hot and the smell of gasoline. And then nothing. No sounds, just silence and darkness. The ground was covered with blood and cullet, the bike was in flames...And what now?

Back in the hospital---

Everyone in the ER was in rush, doctors didn't have much time to "chat" with patients, every single one of the people who worked in the ER hated his job and wished he had never decided to become a doctor. But because of a big bus crash, everyone had to be there including House's team and the dean of medicine. They all felt frustrated, thinking they're wasting their skills on something minor and...stupid.

"Get this one on ICU!" Someone from the ambulance yelled towards Cuddy and brought another patient to the ER.

"Another from the bus crash?" Cuddy asked annoyed a little.

"No, this one was in a motorcycle accident. He almost died in the ambulance. We started his heart again, but I don't think he's gonna make it. Everything is written in the chart. See ya."

"Well, let's have a look on this basically dead guy." Cuddy said sarcastically. But her face suddenly lost its color and the smile faded away, when she saw House's face with scars all over and from her chest came out a sound of fear and surprise. She stopped one of the nurses and said.

"Get Doctor Wilson here." She said and with some nurses sent House straight to ICU.

A few hours later---

"I can't believe this!!...House and a suicide? That doesn't make sense!!" Wilson yelled while he was in a room with House hooked to a bunch of machines.

"What did the surgeon said?" He asked and his voice sounded hopelessly.

"When he crashed, his heart has been damaged. And he had a hole in his head, when they brought him in. They could fix this but not his heart." Cuddy cried.

"There's no way of transplant?" Foreman asked.

"He's fifty and a former drug addict. They can't move him to the top of the list." As Cuddy spoke the tears were running down her face.

"We have to go back to our patient..." Thirteen said as she was close to tears as the rest of the team. In the room was now only Wilson and Cuddy sitting by House's bed.

"So...Should I wake him up?" Wilson asked.

"No." Cuddy said sadly.

"Why would you...?"

"Cause it was my fault...And he doesn't want to see me...I don't want him to say it."

Cuddy couldn't hide her tears. She was so mad at herself. How could she say those horrible things? How could she not see he loved her?

"It wasn't your fault."

"I should've seen it!! When he said he wants to quit, when he kissed me goodbye, I could've seen this was serious!!" Cuddy yelled while realizing the love of her life was dying and she could've prevented it.

"He clearly was blaming me for everything...He didn't even leave a goodbye note..."

"He came to you and kissed you. And how do you even know he didn't leave you any letter?

He crashed a few blocks from you house. What do you think he was doing there?" Wilson said to calm her down.

"You can't wake him up...just to say 'Hey how's life? By the way you're not gonna have to deal with this question soon'."

"He wanted to die. But now you know that and you can tell him how you really feel about him. You can tell him that you're gonna miss him. Trust me. It's better when you can say goodbye."

"Okay..."

"I'm gonna leave you two alone for a while, so you could talk." Wilson said and he injected his IV with the meds. He walked out of the door and Cuddy waited for House to wake up.

"You're here." House said even though he was really tired.

"I'm always here in case you haven't noticed."

"Sorry..."

"How could you?" Cuddy started to cry again.

"I don't know."

"That's always your answer."

"Come here." He said.

She lied down next to him and he put his arms around her.

"I love you." He whispered to her.

"I love you too." She said while she cried into his shirt.

She lifted up her head and started kissing him softly. They lied there holding each other for almost an hour when Wilson came back to check on them.

"Wilson wants to talk to you..." Cuddy said and lifted up her head again.

"Okay..." He said and kissed her so she knew he wants her to come back later. She got up and walked out of the door.

Wilson came and sat on the chair. He looked devastated and he was blaming House for his misery...

"You're dying." Wilson said harshly.

"I know...otherwise nobody would have this horrible look on his face."

"Well, you got what you wanted...Why?"

"Because, I'm tired."

"Of what? Of being a sociopath? Making everyone miserable as you want?!" Wilson said ironically.

"Yes. I'm tired of all this stuff. I can't live like that. And by the way this conversation is something that I'd like to avoid."

"Oh, don't even try to make everybody think that you did this just to escape your screwed up life!" Wilson yelled.

"I certainly did it just to piss you off!!"

"You know what? I believe that you did this just to hurt ME and Cuddy!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?! Why would I want to do such a thing?"

"Because it's who you are! You didn't even want to kill yourself, you just wanted to make Cuddy think that she hurt you so she starts feeling sorry for you!"

"And what reason do you think I had for you, Sherlock?"

"Just like always you wanted to prove I have trouble loosing people...and I don't even know if you actually intended to die so you probably just wanted to mess things up a little bit and you hoped you'll survive..."

"How dare you accusing me of wanting to die for fun!!....You know what just get out!! Just get outa here!!!" House yelled in pure rage.

"You...you had no right to do this to me!" Wilson said and walked out of the room.

A few minutes later Wilson came back. His grief over loosing his best friend turned into anger and affected his judgment. That's why he thought that the reason for all this was so simple.

"I'm sorry." Wilson started while he was standing in the door. "House, I know you're mad but I'm apologizing..." Suddenly the machine showed no heart rate...

"Need a crash cart in here!!!" Wilson yelled into the hallway and a bunch of nurses with a crash cart rushed into the room.

"What's happening?!" Cuddy suddenly appeared in the room totally confused. Wilson immediately grabbed the paddles.

"Charging...Clear!" An electro-shock passed through his body without any response.

"Charging...Clear!" Wilson shocked his heart again but still nothing.

"Charging..."

"Dr. Wilson..." One of the nurses started.

"CLEAR!" Wilson yelled and gave him another shock.

"Still no pulse. We lost him." One of the nurses said.

"No, we didn't...Charging!!"

"Dr. Wilson, it's over."

"No...No, this can't be..." Wilson kept saying while tears were running down his face.

Cuddy almost started to scream. She gasped for air as she couldn't even breathe.

She cried so hard. They were crying both now. She came to Wilson and hugged him to show he's not alone in this, that she's going through the same thing.

Twenty minutes later---

Wilson and Cuddy were still sitting in the room staring at the floor, when Thirteen rushed in with a cheerful look on her face.

"We've found him a heart!!...Where's House?" Suddenly she sounded confused.

"His heart stopped twenty minutes ago." Cuddy said with a sad tone.

"Oh my God..." Thirteen said totally shocked. "I'm gonna tell it to the donor's family." She said while she started crying too. In the room was now only Wilson and Cuddy again.

"I'm gonna go home. I can't stay here all day...What are you gonna do?" Cuddy asked.

"I don't know. I'm probably gonna sell the apartment. I can't pay the rent myself. And I can't look on anything without reminding me of him."

"If I had to sell everything that reminds me of House, I'd have to sell this hospital." Cuddy said a little jokingly. "If you want I could help with something."

"That's okay, I'll be fine. But if you need something, call me."

"Thanks." She smiled through tears and they both went home.

At Cuddy's---

Cuddy once again sat on her couch, resting. Rachel went to sleep a few minutes ago after an hour of crying and screaming. Like she knew something was wrong.

Cuddy stared into nowhere and another tear was trying to get out. She told herself a hundred times she shouldn't cry but the tears were unstoppable. She was thinking of him all day long. It had been two days since House died and yet couldn't seem to fight this thing.

She was tired. She hadn't slept in two days. "I better get some sleep." She thought.

She stood up and wanted to go to her bedroom but suddenly she felt like something is touching her leg. Something hard and wooden. "No, that can't be true..." Se said quietly.

"Unfortunately it is..." House's voice was so real like he had never been dead. She started to breath hard and she refused to look at him. "If this is not a ghost than it's a hallucination." She thought to herself. And more logical explanation didn't exist. She was definitely having hallucinations. She was finally able to look at him and when she saw his face, the cane and his boyish smile that he had when he was right, she got scared a little bit.

"What the hell are you...?"

"...doing here? I don't have the slightest clue. I guess you really wanted to see me."

"I wanted to see House, not his imaginary version. Go away..."

"You do realize that it's impossible for me to be alive, when I'm dead."

"You're a hallucination!"

"How can you know that, you don't what's on the other side..."

"See, this is exactly what House would never say!!"

"But I never knew what's on the other side either...

Either you can believe that I'm a hallucination and spend the rest of your life hating yourself for killing the love of your life...or there's no reason why you shouldn't enjoy a few minutes with

Someone you loved...someone who loved you."

Cuddy saw in him a fraud of her exhausted mind but also someone she'd like to be with.

And a few minutes...or hours with a hallucination can't be that bad for her...She knew she was wrong but for a moment...just for a moment feel how it's like to kiss him again would be great...And if she was thinking it than he was definitely thinking it too. He stood up and his hands slightly touched her thigh, then her waist and he pulled her up against him. She almost couldn't move. She closed her eyes and waited for his lips to touch hers but she felt absolutely nothing. Shocked, she opened her eyes to realize there's nobody else in the room than her. That beautiful feeling of happiness, lust and other sensations was replaced by depressing fact that she's been in this room alone all along. "He's gone." She thought. She turned and went to her bedroom. She was really, really tired...

The next day---

Cuddy just walked into the hospital lobby when she saw Wilson coming out of the cafeteria.

He went to her to ask her how she was doing. He was miserable too, but like House always liked to say, Wilson loves neediness, needs to save all the women...

"Hi, how you're doing?"

"It's not that bad...I'm okay..." She lied to avoid a conversation about House.

"No, you're not. I can see it."

"God, I've never noticed that you're both the same. Are you gonna stalk me too?"

"I know that you're not alright. I know how it feels when you loose your loved one..."

"Ah....I haven't slept in two days, I think about him all the time and yesterday I...yesterday I saw him..."

"Saw him like...?"

"Saw him like saw him..."

"You're having hallucinations?"

"No, his ghost came to visit me..." She said ironically. "What am I gonna do?"

"First just relax...you're under a lot of pressure. This might be nothing."

"Yeah...nothing." She said worried.

"You know...His mother called this morning. She asked if we could help with the funeral."

"Okay..."

"If you don't want to, I will do it---"

"No, I want." She said and told him to go to her office that she'll come after she finishes something...

"His mom asked especially for the guest list. She didn't even know him for the past twenty years."

"Thirteen's gonna go, Taub, Chase, Foreman, you and me...Do you think we should invite Cameron...and Stacy?"

"Why Cameron?"

"Let's face it, she was in love with him. And even if she hated him, she'd probably wanted to know that he's..."

She paused. "And I think we should at least tell them. They don't have to come."

"I'm gonna call Cameron and you Stacy. Okay?"

"Yeah..."

They were arguing about the funeral another hour. After Cuddy did everything in the hospital she called Stacy and wanted to ask her if she could meet her tomorrow. But she wasn't answering so she just left her a message.

"Hi Stacy, it's Lisa. There's something you should know and I don't think you should hear it from an answering machine. Could you meet me tomorrow somewhere? Call me. Please, it's important...Bye."

She hung up but the phone started to ring again. She answered it and she was surprised when she found out it was Stacy.

"Hi, sorry I didn't pick up the phone. I just got home. What's up?"

"I don't know if I should tell you like that...It's serious. It's about House." Her voice started to be little quiet.

"What about him?"

"No, really..."

"What happened? Is he dead or what?" Stacy said thinking this was the most absurd thing in the world. House? Dead? No way!!

"Actually...He committed suicide three days ago...We brought him to the hospital but he didn't make it."

Cuddy said and she almost started to cry again when she remembered the day he was brought to the ER.

"I wanted to ask you if you want go to the funeral."

"Oh my God...Yeah, I'll be there tomorrow." She said and hung up.

Stacy's in the town---

Early in the morning Stacy got up, showered, ate her breakfast and without telling anybody where she was,

she rushed to her car and drove to Princeton. The whole time she thought about House. House? Suicide? Is it as impossible as it sounds? What if she caused it? No...It was four years ago. But what does she know...

After she got to PPTH she was looking for a parking space. And she noticed the empty one in front of the entrance. It was reserved for "House M.D." and on the curb there was a lighted candle...

She went straight to Cuddy's office but she caught her at the clinic instead.

"Hi..." Stacy said and Cuddy turned in surprise.

"Oh, so you made it."

"Yeah...You know I wanted to talk to you about everything. Do you have some time?"

"Yep...Just go to my office and wait for me, I'll be there in a minute."

Stacy went back to her office and sat on the couch. She felt insecure in this room. Since she left, Cuddy re-designed her office so it looked really different. But that wasn't it. It was like she felt all that happened in this room. Hostage situation, House's fights with Cuddy and the opposite of fights...

Cuddy came in and she sat against her on the chair.

"So the funeral is on Wednesday at five...and I could give you a ride if you don't feel like driving..."

"That would be great...Do you know why House did it?" Stacy asked impatiently

"He wrote me and Wilson a letter..."

"Did he mention me?"

"...he didn't...Sorry..."

"No that's okay...I was just worried that..."

"...He might do it because of you?" Cuddy asked a little offended.

"Yeah...I was wrong wasn't I? Could I read the letter he wrote to you?"

Cuddy hesitated a bit. That letter was so personal...She didn't want anyone else to read it. And definitely not his ex-girlfriend.

"If you want..." She opened her drawer, took out an envelope and handed it to Stacy. She immediately took the letter and started reading for herself....

Cuddy...I screwed up your life...but I want to thank you for putting up with this crap and to say I'm sorry.

All the nice things you've been doing for me since...since always. And I never said anything.

You were like my angel...We've been acting weird the past year and a half and we both know why.

After the day we kissed I denied that it meant something to me but it did and I didn't want to admit it....

I was just scared...because if I wasn't I would take Wilson's advice and asked you out.

And the hallucination...I hoped it was real...But you told me it was over and I believed you.

I think you made the right decision. I hope you'll be one happy family with Lucas and little Rachel.

And there's one thing I've never told you. I should've...And I want you to know it...I love you Lisa.

House

"Touching...I didn't know there was something between you two..."

"it was actually nothing compared to you two." She was lying. She even knew him better than anyone else. Better than her.

Stacy maybe lived with him, but Cuddy was connected to him emotionally. And she knew that if she wasn't so stupid she could've had him whenever she wanted. They were hiding their feeling but if they didn't, they'd be happily married now...

"I gotta do something...You have a place to stay, don't you?" She asked hoping she's right and speeded away from Stacy to the clinic. Stacy was surprised by her reaction but she had more important things to deal with. She stood up and went back to her car to look for the nearest hotels.

Cuddy, after she rushed out of her of office, went to one of the empty exam rooms. She closed the door, she lean on the wall and put her hands on her face. She was exhausted and nervous. And jealous of Stacy...Stacy was with him for five years...How come she wasn't? How come even though she knew he loves her more, she was never able to tell him that she loves him too?

"You're thinking about things that don't matter." It was again House's voice that she was so glad to hear.

"Why are you here?" She asked while acting annoyed.

"I want to help you."

"No, you don't. You're messing with my head."

"I'm here because you don't wanna be alone. Don't beat yourself up. It wasn't your fault."

"Yeah, except it was. You wrote it in that letter."

"No, I didn't. It was one of the thousands of reasons.

You should prepare the funeral."

Cuddy gave him a sad look and walked out of the room.

At the funeral of the big mean doctor---

The funeral was at "Lambert funeral home", the same one that was used for the funeral of House's dad. There were pretty much the same people from the family side. But instead of solider there were doctors. They all sat in the first line. First Cuddy, then Wilson, Foreman, Chase, Thirteen and Taub.

Next to Cuddy was sitting House's mom. All of her friends were comforting her. "Don't worry, I'm sure he's in heaven worrying about you" or "You will get through this" and that kind of stuff. Of course House's mom didn't know his accident was planned. Wilson didn't want to tell her, because that would make her even more miserable. So they all kept their mouths shut.

While House's mom was worrying about his after life, Wilson was worrying about Cameron...

"She said she'll be here..."

"How did she react when you told her?"

"She was pretty bummed out. Just like all of us. Maybe even more. But she said she'll come...Where is she?"

"I talked to Stacy yesterday."

"You talked to her this morning too, you know. And you can talk to her right now too, she's sitting right there:"

"I talked to her about House, you moron. She thought he did it because of her."

"It's like a syndrome. Cameron thinks he did it because he suddenly realized that he misses her, you think he did it because you rejected him. It's logical that Stacy will have the same condition. We can call it House's syndrome."

"This is not a place or time for jokes." She said reprovingly.

"I'm serious. All the women that have ever loved him think they have something to do with his death...and I'm starting to have the symptoms too, even though I was just his friend. It seems like it's highly contagious.

Did you notice that from all the people who came here, Foreman is the only one who isn't crying?" He said quietly, so Foreman sitting next to him couldn't hear it.

"You're not crying either."

"I'm crying rivers inside." Cuddy gave him a doubtful look. "I'm serious!"

"Sorry, I'm late. I got lost." It was Cameron coming through the hall. Her eyes were still red from crying.

"We were starting to have doubts if you come." Cuddy said. Her eyes weren't whiter than Cameron's.

Cameron sat behind Cuddy and the funeral just started. Minister talked about lots of stuff that people just didn't listen to. They thought about House. Some of them thought of the day they saw him for the first time - like the "hallucinating priest" House once treated. Or they thought of the way he used to throw his "Ballly" against the wall – like Cuddy. They also thought of the few precious moments of happiness he had sometimes had – like Cameron. Or they thought of his love for music, just like Wilson. But when the minister stopped talking, his friends we're confused. Who should speak next? Wilson wanted...and Stacy too. But Cuddy was already standing there and they were all wondering how come she got there so fast. She desperately wanted to say how she felt right now. She wanted to say how much he meant to her. In that same moment Cameron and Stacy would like to hit her with a baseball bat. "Okay, just say it. You want to, so come on!" She thought.

"I've known Greg House for almost twenty years and I worked with him for a quite long time. He was the best doctor I've ever met with the greatest diagnostic skills. Even though working with him was sometimes a living hell, I enjoyed it. And I always admired him, because through his career, he saved a lot of lives. A lot of people are thankful for his curiosity, his urge to come up with the answer. He was unique. And I have to admit. Over the past two years I started to have feelings for him, just like a few women I know. And maybe if I wasn't so stubborn we could've been a lot closer than we were." When she said that, her eyes started to sparkle." But I at least know that I meant something to him. I know that all the people he loved and the ones, who loved him, will never forget him. I won't forget him. We'll miss you...Greg." She said and went to the bathroom.

She washed her face down and looked into the mirror. She was a mess.

"That was one hell of a speech. I almost cried my eyes out. Seriously!"

"Would you stop that already?"

"If you think that admitting that you loved me in front of all the people out there and basically humiliating yourself will help you destroy yourself, then you're horribly wrong. Of course, this is just a beginning...what do you want to do next? Go naked to the hospital? Rob the next gas station? "

"I just wanted to express my feelings."

"You are not the reason!!!!"

"Then who is?! It has to be me."

"It was nobody! I just wanted to go! I don't want you to be hurt..."

"If you really wanted that you wouldn't have killed yourself." She said and walked out of the bathroom.

Later...

Everyone started to say goodbye, because the funeral was already at the end. The team, Cuddy and Wilson were just about to go back to Princeton when Cameron stopped Cuddy in front of the funeral home.

"Cuddy, I wanted to talk to you..."

"Don't tell me...You think that House did it because of you, don't you? And you want me to tell you it's true?"

"No nothing like that...I had no idea how you felt about House and I was always kind of jealous of how much he was interested in you but when you talked about what he meant to you...I think you should have this." Cameron said and handed her a photo. "Remember when we treated the pregnant photographer? She took a picture of him and I kept it. I thought if you needed to look at it sometimes...I figured you don't have any pictures of him so..." On her face suddenly appeared a sympathetic smile.

"Thanks..." She took the picture from her and thankful Cuddy sat in the car.

Back in Princeton---

Cuddy rushed through the hall to Wilson's office. She knocked on the door and Wilson's voice told her to come in.

Wilson was sitting behind his desk, writing something in a file. Cuddy closed the door and sat on the couch.

"I think I might be crazy." She said with a calm tone¨.

"Why do you think that?" Wilson asked amazed how she was acting like House without knowing it.

"I'm still seeing things I shouldn't."

"You're still having hallucinations? Maybe you should see a psychiatrist about this..."

"I should...I don't want to." She confessed.

"Why?"

"Because, it feels good to be with him. It feels good when I can talk to him and see him every time I want."

"He's an imaginary House. You can't build a relationship on one person. He's actually you!"

"House did that...and how happy he was about it. He hallucinated a night with me and he was glowing all day."

"But he didn't know it was a hallucination. Sorry, but if you want me to tell you that falling in love with a dead employee is actually a good thing...This is serious. You should put a stop to it before you fall deeper."

"I know...What would you do if you had hallucinations with Amber?"

"I would go see a psychiatrist."

"Yeah, Right!! I bet you were pretty jealous when House showed up and told you 'I'm seeing your ex-girlfriend'."

"I'm trying to help you."

"I KNOW!!!....I know." She stood up and went to the door.

"Wait!! Are you gonna go see the psychiatrist, or not?!" Wilson yelled when Cuddy was already in front of the elevator.

She went back to her office, disappointed, because Wilson didn't give her the answer she was hoping for and sat behind her desk.

"Wow!! You must be really desperate if you went to Wilson for an advice." It was House again sitting on her couch.

"Shut up!"

"You're just upset, because he didn't tell you what you wanted to hear..." He said while standing up, now without his cane.

"You don't have to ask anyone..." He walked behind her desk.

"You know what is right for you..." And from behind her he whispered to her ear: "You know what makes you feel good."

That last sentence freaked out, but also pleased her. "He's right! I should do what I want!" She thought.

"But how can I do this, I mean...We can't be together forever..."

"We could...There's still a lot of vicodin in my old apartment..." Cuddy started to feel a little bit insecure. Is this what I want?

"You could just take a few... and then we would be together FOREVER..."

"What about Rachel?"

"Just leave a note that you want Wilson to raise her... His life is empty now, so..."

"Okay, I'll do it." There was a lot of excitement in her voice.

She went to the parking lot, sat in the car and drove all the way to House's old apartment. She opened the door with keys Wilson once gave her when made a copy of it. In case something happened. It was dark in there but she knew exactly where to find his vicodin. She went straight to his closet and opened it.

"Come on House, if you want me to do this, you have to tell me where it is."

"You don't where it is, which means I don't where it is. You're gonna have to find it yourself."

"One of his sneakers could be a good hiding place, let's start with that." She started to search for a bottle of vicodin.

She got lucky for first time. There was almost a full bottle in the first pair of his "Nikes". ¨

"But let's go some place else....I don't wanna die in here." She said and went back to her car. She drove fast to the hospital. She wanted to be in her office, so it didn't look suspicious. She stopped at her parking space and for a minute started to think about this all. "This is crazy!! No. I'm doing this for myself, for him." She said to herself. She went to her office and sat on the couch. She opened the bottle with vicodin and asked House: "Are you gonna be with me here, when it happens?"

He sat next to her and held her hand. "Of course...I'm not gonna leave you here alone." He smiled and she smiled back.

She took six pills from the bottle and swallowed. She lied back and started to feel weird. And a thought occurred to her like an arrow. "I'M DYING!!!!!"

Cuddy woke up lying in her bed, sweaty and scared to death. She turned her head on the other side and she found Lucas lying there. She was relived. She went to the bathroom and when she looked into the mirror, she started laughing. "It was just a dream!!" She said to her reflection. "Thank God!!!"