Warning: Some personal, some clinical discussion of Brazilian waxing.
A/N: Apparently, I can't write comment fics anymore because they keep turning into full-fledged fics. As for Brazilian waxes, well, I've never given one, but I think I was fairly accurate though I took a few liberties to make the story work.
Disclaimer: I don't own Community whatsoever, which I think is pretty obvious, since I can barely write the characters. I can't see Dan Harmon ever wanting to even acknowledge these characters once I've used them.


He's relieved to find parking. This particular strip mall, located just outside of Greendale, is a popular destination but it's a Saturday morning and Jeff scheduled his waxing appointment at the unholy hour of 9AM for just that reason. He parks, fiddles with his hair in the mirror for a moment, grabs his coffee and heads in, sunglasses tucked into his shirt.

He checks in with Eileen, complimenting her new hair colour, exchanges a casually flirty word or two with Diane who promises she'll be with him soon and takes a seat. He's got his Blackberry out and he's killing Bejeweled when the door opening chimes and his eyes flick to the door to check the new arrival automatically before moving back to his phone. Seconds later as he realizes just what he saw, Jeff's eyes are glued to Annie Edison as she moves toward Eileen and very quietly converses with her. Jeff is straining to hear but unless he gets up and moves closer, it's not going to happen. Fortunately for him, Eileen is not so discrete.

"Brazilian or just the regular bikini?" Her voice isn't even loud but in the soothing calm of the morning salon crowd? It's practically a banshee cry. The idea of Annie getting a Brazilian is, uh, pretty interesting. Jeff's never been particularly choosy with regards to the hair down there. As long as it's clean, he's pretty well content with getting laid, so.

Before he can further ruminate, Annie is turning toward the seating area and... He can pinpoint the exact second she sees him because her gasp is not only ridiculous (as usual) but she literally freezes up. It only lasts a second or two, the overwhelming terror, because she physically shakes it off and continues toward him. She takes the seat next to him and smiles brightly. Jeff can tell there's a brittle element to it and he finds it just a little amusing. What do they say about sex? If you can't discuss it with your partner, you shouldn't be having it? He's certain something similar applies here; if you can't handle people knowing your waxing habits, you shouldn't be waxing.

"Hi Jeff! ... Fancy seeing you here." Annie tone is only slightly disgruntled.

"Annie." He nods pleasantly at her. "You're here bright and early."

"It's the only time Troy and Abed won't pester me, the morning, that is. I run my errands and get everything out of the way so I don't have to deal with the questions and the pleading and the non-stop bathroom breaks. Do you know they never have to go at the same time?" Jeff stares, and yeah, it's a judging stare because Annie is apparently a mother for two over-grown toddlers on her weekends.

"Okay, pretending I don't care, which should be easy because iI. Don't. Care,/i what're you doing ihere?/i" It actually isn't intended to embarrass or tease her this time. Jeff is genuinely curious as to how she ended up at this particular salon, specifically ihis/i salon. It's not like he thinks Annie is stalking him but holy coincidental, Batman!

"Oh, my stylist just took a position here and at my last appointment, I mentioned that I needed a place to get some other services. It costs about the same as any other salon so it made sense to just get everything at the same salon, you know?" Of course it was, at least partially, a pragmatic decision for Annie. Jeff is somehow entirely unsurprised. "What about you? Didn't you get a haircut just a week ago?" She studies his face carefully. "Are you getting your bangs fixed?"

"What?" Jeff's hand flies up, of its own accord, to his hair. "What's wrong with my bangs? Why do they need to be fixed? I knew something looked off when I was checking my hair in the car. Damnit!" Annie tugs his arm away from his hair, shaking her head, and smiling. She keeps his hand cradled in hers, holding on to it, ensuring it won't go flying back into his hair.

"Your bangs are fine. I just didn't know why you were here and I was taking a wild guess. Lots of people get their bangs trimmed regularly. No insult intended, okay?" Annie's expression is exceedingly gentle and Jeff is willing to concede that he may have overreacted ever so slightly. But only ever so slightly.

"Ah. No, I'm hear for my regular waxing appointment." A cocky smirk is on his face and this time, it is for her benefit. He looks at her and she's not at all flustered which is somewhat unexpected. But no, she makes direct eye contact and he's impressed.

"Oh, me too. I'm a little nervous, I admit. I've never gone... iAll the way/i." Annie's voice drops to a scandalized whisper and Jeff smiles as he recognizes his Annie underneath the maturity he hadn't quite realized had blossomed under her hot teenage school girl exterior.

"Oh. I'm sure it won't be that bad. I've heard Advil helps?" Jeff wants to support Annie, he does, but he's not sure this is a good place to take the conversation. He forges on, though, because really, what else did he expect? He had thought Annie was the uncomfortable one but it's all him.

"I try not to take any medication unless I have to. So I didn't take any Advil. I'm just scared. I know it'll be fine but... Scary!" Annie's smile is more like a grimace and Jeff knows he's going to end up trying to save her from even the most minor discomforts no matter what.

"Look, Annie, if there's anything I can do to help-" Jeff is cut off by Diane wandering over.

"Jeff, is this the girl you're always talking about? You are so hot!" The last part is directed at Annie, who blushes and thanks her, before turning laughing eyes on Jeff. "What were you guys talking about?" The inquiry is friendly and Annie doesn't hesitate to let her know.

"It's my first time doing a Brazilian. I'm really nervous." Annie winces and blushes again.

"Oh, don't worry! Everyone is nervous their first time but it'll be fine! If it'll help, take Jeff in with you. He can hold your hand." Annie who had been silently laughing at Jeff just a second ago is now blushing hard. Jeff, too, can feel his face heating. Diane only knows scant details about Annie and really, from what she's heard, she probably assumes they're dating. Which, yeah, not happening. Right now, at least.

"Look, I'll go tell Eileen I'll do your waxing! Claudia can take my next appointment instead. Come in for Jeff's waxing and then we'll just switch it up, okay? Jeff, it's the second room on the right." Diane starts moving toward Eileen but glances back noticing that neither have moved. "Shoo, both of you. Go!" She points in the direction of the room and Annie isn't sure what to do but Jeff just shrugs and, okay, it looks like they'll be seeing each other half-naked. Well, alright then.

Once they enter the room, it's brighter than Annie is used to. There's classic rock playing quietly in the background instead of soothing jazz too. She's slowly coming to the awareness that she still doesn't know what services Jeff is here for. He could be here to wax his chest, his downstairs, his entire body... Annie's not sure she can survive seeing Jeff taking advantage of the 'manscaping' services so admirably (so obviously) advertised. She might not be so innocent or repressed anymore, but there are lines, you know? Summoning all the formidability she has, she straightens her spine and bites the bullet.

"What are you, uh, getting done today?" Annie winces slightly as she hears the slight stutter but she got the question out so she smoothes her face and waits.

"My usual." Jeff glances at her and nods, once. "And you don't know what that is." He starts unbuttoning his shirt, gesturing toward it with one hand, "This perfect canvas needs to be free and clear of hair in order to be fully appreciated. Beach season is coming up." He sees Annie roll her eyes and then she smiles and nods as if to say, 'duh doy, of course.' "You said this is your first time?"

"Yeah... Britta and I went shopping and, well, she convinced me to get this bikini that is... It's really tiny. The usual bikini wax isn't going to cut it and, you know what? I'm going to wear that suit!" Annie gets caught up, for just a moment or two, in her own resolve. Britta had pushed her into trying it on, then wheedled and cajoled, and when Annie still hesitated to actually make the purchase, she'd implied that Annie wouldn't wear it even if she did buy it. Annie had known she was being played (Britta had accused her of not having the cojones and Annie hadn't bothered pointing out that of course she didn't have male testicles) but she had bought the damn thing anyway.

"Oh. So it's not your... First first time." He waits for her nod. "But it's still scary?" He isn't really sure what it's like getting a Brazilian, just appreciates the results when he happens to come across them.

"Jeff, they remove hair from everywhere. All of it. The aesthetician is going to get more intimate with my," her voice drops to a whisper, "vagina than most men ever will. Think about that." Annie is utterly serious and, okay, clearly a little dramatic. However, Jeff doesn't want to think about any man getting intimate with Annie's vagina so he refuses to entirely.

"Fair enough. Well, I don't have to stay. Diane is a little... Bossy sometimes, but she means well. I can wait for you outside?"

"I know it's kind of awkward. And weird. But would you mind staying? I mean, it's just... This is really uncomfortable." Jeff isn't sure if Annie is referring to her request, the upcoming waxing or the whole thing, but he finds himself agreeing.

"Uh, yeah, I can just... I'll hold your hand and... Face you? I won't have to see anything but, I'll still be here?" Annie nods, the grateful look already creeping across her face.

"Thanks, Jeff. Here, give me your shirt." Jeff hadn't realized that he had finished unbuttoning it and untucked it, working on autopilot, so engrossed in his conversation with Annie. He shrugs out of it and hands it over, watching as she folds it along the seams, expertly avoiding creating any new creases. It's as she's doing this that Diane knocks and then pokes her head in.

"Hi! Let's get started. On the table, Jeff." He follows her instructions and she slides an extra stool Annie's way as Jeff settles back. Annie leans in toward him as Diane is buzzing around, grabbing the strips and wax.

"Want to hold my hand?" She has a little smile on her face and a smirk automatically slides across his.

"You're going to have to make an offer better than your hand, Annie." Annie raises an eyebrow as the flirty comment but doesn't back down.

"Well, we can work our way up..." She's still leaning in and Jeff's eyes drop down to her cleavage when she says that. His gaze flies up to her face, sort of. If you don't count the pit stop at her lips. Any more flirting is cut off by Diane turning around and applying the hot wax. Jeff twitches slightly in reaction but otherwise holds still. He locks eyes with Annie and she's smiling as her fingers slide up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. "Should've worn your nipple guards, huh?"

He scowls at her before attempting to press himself into the bed he's on, away from her, to show his annoyance at her teasing. She scratches a nail down the vein that's clear on the side of his neck and he twitches again, though it's not from the wax. Diane chooses that exact moment to pull a strip off and between the vague pain and the vague pleasure of Annie's fingers against his neck, Jeff worries he might be developing a new kink.

Diane is finished in less than ten minutes and leaves Jeff to clean up. She instructs them to rip off the paper covering on the bed and grab a new one, or if they don't care, keep it. If they choose the latter, she wants Annie on the bed, bottoms off. She leaves a little towel behind for Annie to cover up with and tells them she'll be back in ten, dimming the lights as she goes. Jeff looks down at his chest, an irritated pink but hair free, and retrieves his shirt, putting it on slowly.

"I'll just... Be out here. Let me know when..?" Annie nods and he moves outside the door. It's barely a minute later when he hears her voice, letting him know he can come back inside. As he enters, he tries, valiantly, to ignore the green and black panties he can see sticking out from between her folded skirt. He does a better job of not staring at the tiny towel covering her, though. It doesn't stop him from wondering what exactly is under that towel (he knows the technical answer, but oh, how he'd like a peek at the specifics) but he moves toward the stool and takes a seat, facing away from Annie's legs, and smiles at her. "Not so bad so far, right?" She whacks at his chest half-heartedly.

"I think the waiting is more nerve-wracking. I mean, nobody has ever died from a Brazilian wax, right?" Apparently that thought had never occurred to her because Annie's eyes are widening slowly. "Right? Oh god, can you die from a Brazilian? What if you're bleeding and there are germs or bacteria on the table or the tools? And I contract a disease and die?" Jeff stares at her. And then stares some more. He sees her wide eyes, he takes in the dim lights, and not knowing a better response, he kisses her.

Annie resists for a few seconds, taken by surprise, but her hands are winding around Jeff's neck before long and... Yeah, they're making out in a salon, as she waits to get a Brazilian. It's better than making out on campus right after a school dance where major revelations have just taken place (what, are they on Saved by the Bell, now?) and Jeff would have continued but Annie pushes against his shoulder gently so he leans back, wondering why, when Diane enters the room.

"I bet you're already calmer, right, Annie?" Diane is referring to the dimmed lights and what she assumes is Jeff's calming presence in the room. Given the slight flush on Annie's cheeks, she is wrong for all the right reasons.

"Yep!" Annie's voice is a squeak but Diane doesn't seem to notice.

"Let's get started, then. You've had a bikini wax, right?" She doesn't wait for Annie's confirmation. "So you know the general idea. I'll work my way in and I'll give you a head's up on the areas that are going to hurt more, okay?" She's quick and efficient and the first strip or two comes off with nary a reaction from Annie. Jeff is kind of impressed. He can only imagine what it feels like to get waxed in such a sensitive area. His chest hurts enough and if it was his dick and his balls? He'd probably be curled up, howling. Maybe.

"Alright, Annie, I'm doing the inner lips, now. It's going to hurt a little more but it's not that bad." Annie holds his hand and he can feel an involuntary squeeze at the same time he hears the strip being ripped off. He wonders if it's worse being able to see it happen or not because he's wincing in sympathy every time he hears the strip come off but seeing it get applied and knowing when it's being ripped off must raise your anticipation of pain through the roof.

"Good. I'm going to do between your cheeks now and believe it or not, this usually doesn't hurt at all. I just need you to spread your legs a little wider, okay? And can you put your hands," Diane adjusts Annie's hands and Jeff's imagination is... Yep, it's going wild. "There. Perfect." Jeff can feel Annie shifting and, wow, this is an incredibly intimate and weird situation. He's guessing she's in place because he can see Diane reaching for more wax in his peripheral vision. Moments later, that's done too.

"Now it's just the top area that I have to finish off. And this is probably what hurts the most. Do you want it all off or do you want a landing strip? Some kind of shape? I can probably do a J for Jeff!" Diane giggles and Jeff makes eye contact with Annie who just shakes her head as if to forestall any suggestions from him.

"Um, a triangle? If that's okay?" Diane nods and then verbally assures her that anything is fine. Jeff's hand is being squeezed pretty constantly now and he's surprised at the strength in Annie's grip. It doesn't quite hurt but it's much firmer than he was expecting. When he hears Diane announce that she's all done, he curtails his instinct to take a look, and merely smiles at Annie instead. She's listening carefully to Diane's directions about a soothing aloe balm that will help, the advice to drink water, avoid rough fabrics and tight-fitting clothes

"On the bright side, Annie, you got some ultra-tame practice for childbirth!" She's laughing as she sails out of the room and they're alone.

"Jeff, can you hand me my stuff?" Jeff nods and reaches over, grasping the skirt. His grip isn't as good as he thought because her underwear drifts out from between the folds and he catches it without thinking. He's sitting there, holding Annie's underwear when it hits him, again, that this situation is absurd. He hands her clothes over, gives her a tight smile, and excuses himself from the room.

It's when they're both standing and paying at the counter, waving goodbye to Diane, that Jeff comes to a decision. They're friends. Yeah, that was kind of weird. But neither of them had seen anything new and, okay, maybe he knew how Annie manicured the lawns but, so what? They had kissed and she was 21 and...

"Wanna grab coffee?"