Chapter 1
"What made us think we could survive four teenagers?" Stef sighs heavily as she slumps down on her bed and pulls the covers over her legs.
Lena shakes her head and laughs slightly as she joins her wife in bed, "They're not that bad. They're just trying to test us now that they're a bit more independent."
"Well, if I have to warn any of them again for attitude, they won't have any independence. Or a car for that matter!" Stef rolls onto her side, eyes closed, still unable to believe that their two eldest now had learners permits. Opening her eyes, she gazes down to her wife, watching as the corners of her lips slowly begin to curl. "What's so funny?" she asks.
"You're cute when you get annoyed." Lena whispers, glancing up to Stef who puts on a mock look of disgust. "Hey, come here." Lena reaches out her arm and motions for Stef to move closer.
Stef readily accepts, exhausted from the day's events and falls into her wife's warm embrace. As she begins to relax Lena breaks the comfortable silence.
"Do you remember how tiny they were?" Lena whispers, rubbing circles onto Stef's back.
"The kids?" Stef looks up to Lena who nods, "They're bigger now but they're still our babies."
"We're so lucky, Stef. I never want to forget that," Lena mumbles into Stef's hair as she kisses the top of her head softly.
"I know love," Stef replies, hugging Lena a bit tighter. "I can't believe it's been eight years since Ali's adoption."
"I thought it would never happen." Lena sighs, "But it did." Her voice trails off into silence. Stef lies motionless for a while until Lena's breathing becomes deep and even. Certain that her wife is now asleep Stef allows herself to relax further and finally closes her eyes.
The Adams Foster family begin to stir as the morning sun peeks through into the house. Lena and Stef quietly make their way downstairs to begin making Ali's favorite breakfast of blueberry pancakes for her seventeenth birthday. However, when both women reach the top of the stairs they find Ali sitting at the kitchen table, head in her hands.
Stef, knowing that Lena wants everything to go perfectly today, wraps an arm around Lena's waist and pulls her wife close to her. Lena looks across to Stef and smiles sadly before they make their way over to their daughter.
"Morning baby," Lena whispers, careful not to startle Ali, "Is everything alright?"
Ali silently lowers her hands to the table and watches as Lena takes a seat beside her, while Stef joins them on Ali's other side. Lena takes Ali's hand in her own and rubs it softly, letting Ali take her time.
"I always thought that, after a while, this day would get easier," Ali whispers, looking back down to the table and staring intently at a scratch in the wood.
"Oh my love," Stef sighs sadly, taking Ali's free hand, "It will, I promise."
"You always say that but when? It's been eight years since they died and I miss them more every day." Ali speaks a little louder now, letting her emotions take over.
Both women are taken aback by their daughter's reply. For the past few months, Ali hasn't uttered a word about her family. They'd had a feeling that today would be difficult for her but to hear that she's been suffering alone breaks her moms' hearts.
Stef pulls Ali into her side, hugging her tightly. Lena can only watch as she and Stef struggle to contain their emotions, their eyes beginning to glisten.
"You know that you can always come to us about anything, don't you?" Stef pulls back and wipes a few stray tears from Ali's cheeks.
Ali nods, "I know. You tell me all the time." She smiles slightly, thankful that her moms are always there for her.
"And we mean it." Lena finally speaks as she reaches over and moves a few loose strands of hair out of Ali's eyes, "You're special Ali. You've three moms and a dad."
"And Sophie," Stef adds, "They all matter just as much to us as you and the other kids do."
"Really?" Ali whispers, slightly puzzled.
"Of course, honey. Anything that makes you sad or happy is important to us," Stef replies.
"Now, do you still want those pancakes?" Lena asks after a few moments of silence.
Ali nods and a smile begins to form, "Of course!" she replies eagerly making her moms laugh.
"Well, go upstairs and wake up the others while I help mama." Stef smiles as she chases Ali out of the kitchen.
Thirty minutes later, all six Adams Fosters are around the kitchen table. Lena and Stef sit back and watch as their four kids fight over the last of the blueberry pancakes.
"Aw come on!" Jesus raises his arms in the air in frustration as Ali grabs the last one before he can.
"Beaten by a girl!" Mariana laughs before taking some more strips of bacon.
"Now, no fighting today." Stef steps in before things get out of hand, "Ali honey, could you share that with Jesus please?"
"Sure mom," Ali replies without protest, cutting her pancake in half and offering it to Jesus.
"No, it's alright, you can have it," Jesus gently pushes the plate back towards Ali, "What?" Jesus is suddenly aware that all eyes are on him.
"I've never seen you refuse food," Mariana gasps, mocking her brother.
"Well, it's Ali's birthday." Jesus whispers, feeling his cheeks redden.
Stef looks down to her watch and shakes her head, maybe someday we'll be able to open presents before school she thinks.
"Right, we're all going to be late if we don't leave right now." Stef rushes to finish her coffee before ushering the kids out of the kitchen. Lena keeps Jesus back.
"That was very sweet, honey," Lena speaks quietly, not wanting to embarrass her son anymore. She leans down and kisses the top of his head.
"It was nothing." Jesus mumbles, glancing up to Lena, "I know you guys want this day to go smoothly."
Lena takes a second to look at the kind young man her son is growing into. He'd spent the first four years of his life looking after Mariana and now it's become second nature to him.
"Jesus, you don't have to worry about that. That's me and your mom's problem, okay?" Lena sighs, knowing that he'll worry anyway.
That afternoon, Ali and Mariana make their way to tenth grade Algebra II with Mr. Garrett, a tall, slender man who was sadly losing his hair at a faster rate than he'd like. As the two girls wait outside in the corridor Mariana turns to Ali.
"Are you alright?" She whispers to her sister, pulling her away from the class.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" Ali quickly replies, not wanting anyone to overhear.
"I heard you go downstairs this morning. It was at least an hour until moms came down and found you." Mariana sighs sadly, knowing that Ali is holding something back.
"I just…wanted some time alone, you know? I needed some time to think." Ali whispers, looking down at her white sneakers, noticing the layer of dirt that is beginning to form over them.
"To think about what?" Mariana asks but before Ali can reply Mr. Garrett's voice can be heard calling them into class.
At the same time, Lena walks back into her office after finishing lunch duty, feeling particularly proud of her pile of confiscated items sitting on the edge of her desk.
"A new record maybe," Lena announces to the empty room, before settling down into her armchair. Just as she leans forward to grab a pen, her phone rings. Looking at the caller ID, she smiles.
"Hey honey." Lena answers the call.
"Hey, love," Stef replies, noticing her wife's happy tone instead of the usual mid-afternoon slump. "Have you seen Ali today?"
"Just this morning, why?" Lena replies, beginning to sort through the latest pile of papers on her desk.
"I wanted to make sure she's alright. She was different this morning, that's all." Stef sighs as she stretches in her chair. "Do you think she'll still want to go to the graveyard?"
Visiting her family's grave had become a tradition for Ali to do on her birthday, to have a quiet chat with them and her moms without the interruptions of their normal lives.
"I'm not sure, Stef. This morning was the first time in ages she's even acknowledged them." Lena closes her eyes for a brief moment, wondering how Ali is feeling, "I'll call her into my office after class."
"Thanks love." Stef replies before hanging up.
Ali knocks the door softly and waits until she hears Lena's voice call her in. Slowly, she opens the door and makes her way over to the sofa to join her mom.
"Mr. Garrett said you wanted to see me?" Ali asks worry etched across her face. "Have I done something wrong?" She whispers.
"No baby," Lena quickly responds, "Your mom and I were wondering if you still want to go see your family today." Lena wraps her arm around Ali and pulls her close. When Ali doesn't answer she continues, "You don't have to. We'll never make you do something you don't want to do."
Ali looks up to Lena, "What if I don't know what to say anymore? I haven't been in ages and…what if they're angry at me?" Immediately Ali begins to pull away from Lena, embarrassed by what she's just said.
Dead people can't get mad, she thinks as she begins to play with a loose thread of the sofa.
Lena knowing her daughter well doesn't let Ali distance herself too much. She looks down and sees the little girl with big green eyes that they took in five years ago now sitting beside her.
"Oh love, come here." Lena stretches out both arms. Ali accepts the invitation and falls into Lena's warm embrace faster than normal, worrying Lena. After a few moments, Lena breaks the silence.
"We love you so much." She whispers into Ali's hair as Ali's breathing becomes shaky. "How about we go home and you can decide what you want to do?"
Ali nods, not moving away from Lena's comforting smell. She'd always loved how calming Lena could be. It was something she had noticed the moment that she joined the Adams Fosters.
