xxx SHINIGAMI EYES xxx

A Sequel to Utopia and Justice

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(Kira's POV)

"What?" I exclaimed –anger, frustration, bewilderment, anguish, and goodness-knows-what-else, all pooling in my chest.

Chikage only flinched and looked away.

By this time, we were already living with L in his building, working on the Kira case. Chikage and I knew that we were L's primary suspects, so we had to be really careful. We rented a suite for our secret meetings, and we met here every so often to plot and scheme. So far, we haven't been discovered, and everything was going smoothly.

But now, this had to come up.

"Why did you do that?" I demanded, gripping her firmly by the shoulders, willing her to face me. She resolutely kept her head turned away.

With an anguished groan, I released her and turned back. Something was building up in my throat, like an unnaturaly large knot, and it was slightly painful. I felt an unfamiliar stinging in my eyes and with horror, I recognized what it was.

Tears.

No! I couldn't cry. Gods don't cry. I couldn't possibly…

But it was too late. A tear had managed to make its way down my cheek. I angrily wiped it away. Crying was a sign of weakness, and I was not weak. No god was weak.

I turned back towards Chikage. She still stood there, looking out the window, staring at the sky –or maybe the city, I couldn't be sure.

She gave a startled gasp as I pulled her into my arms. She trembled, so I held her tighter.

"Why?" I whispered into her ear.

"Because I love you, baka," she answered simply.

My heart skipped a beat and I slowly released her. I looked into her eyes, searching them for any sign of mockery, of deceit, but I saw only honesty… and love.

I felt that lump rise once again in my throat, followed by that now familiar stinging in my eyes. I fought them down. I couldn't break down in front of Chikage. I had to keep strong, just as strong as she was being.

"But… you didn't have to do it. We're invincible, we're justice… There's must be another way,there always is," I reasoned. Chikage sadly shook her head.

"You told me that timing is everything, remember? There's no better time to kill L than now, Light. If he died now, the blame would immediately go to the Katsui Corporation. No one would suspect us of being the culprits," she explained, "I had to make the eye trade."

"But making the eye trade-"

"Will cut my lifespan in half," she finished for me, "I know."

"Knowing that, you still did it. Why?" I asked, not seeing the sense behind her actions.

"I already told you, baka" she playfully scolded, "And here I was, thinking you're the smartest person in all of Japan."

I failed to appreciate the little joke she made, as I was still confused about why she did that. She already told me the why why, but somehow, my mind rejected the answer it was presented with. I was lost.

"Our utopia… you promised that you would rule by my side as queen. You could not-"

"But I will stay by your side," she cut in, "I never go back on my word. I made a promise and I will fulfill it, I will. I just would have to… leave your side earlier than expected."

She was trying to assure me, but I could not be assured. Anguish had built up within me, and it could not be banished so easily.

With great effort, I placed on my mask of indifference and walked towards the floor-length windows of the suite. Laying a hand on the glass, I leaned my forehead against its cool surface. I closed my eyes for a moment before opening them once again to stare down at the city below. I surveyed the view carefully, with the calculating coldness I often employed on those I considered beneath me.

The streets were filled with noisy cars and people who looked like ants from my vantage point. They looked small and insignificant against the vast expanse of the city. They were mere nothings in this universe of everything, thus their existence counted for naught. But not me. I shall not be like them. I would never number myself among these lowly creatures. I shall rise above them as god.

And she, my beloved Chikage, will be my queen.

My little foolish queen who haphazardly traded half her remaining lifespan for a pair of shinigami eyes. And all because, according to her, she loved me.

Which just proves that love is a worthless emotion, destructive and impeding.

If not for love, she would not have done that trade. If not for love, we would be sharing our paradise forever. If not for love, I would not have tasted the bitterness of my first real tears.

Love… How I loathe the word. So troublesome.

It causes pain, insanity, foolish notions…

Fear.

As I felt Chikage's arms come around me from behind, I wordlessly admitted to myself that indeed, I was afraid.

For I too, was finding myself gradually, but surely falling into its unmerciful grasp.

And gods don't love.

xxx OWARI xxx

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Author's notes:

My second fic! Thanks so much to those who reviewed my first one. I really appreciated your comments a great deal.

An advanced thank you to those who will review this one. You have hearts of gold too!

Constructive criticism is highly welcome. Domo arigatou gozaimasu!

Some terms in the fic that you might want to know about:

Baka –idiot

Eye trade –trade made by exchanging half of your remaining lifespan for shinigami eyes. Shinigami eyes give the owner the capacity to see someone's real name and his lifespan, upon laying eyes on him in person.

Shinigami –death gods